stacked with misery

saturday night was weird dreams night. i never have those, you know?
another work-related dream (love those though) but it was not too bad. actually it didn't get that contextual.. anyway it was one of those "flying dreams," of which I have had a handful in my life. most of them were when i was a little kid, and rather than fly per se i could jump extremly high into the air, coast easily, then land and take another huge jump. this dream was more controllable flying though. felt REALLY COOL whatever it was. too bad you can't do stuff like that in real life (btw.. jumping out of a plane does not feel like flying...)

anyway at some point in the dream I was holding a piece of paper, and noticed that there was this extremely tiny dot on it. for some reason it struck me as odd, and i concentrated on it and noticed that.. it was a microscopic PERSON! he was wearing some kind of blue full-body suit.. i suddenly feared for him (as he was so tiny and i didn't want to drop or squish him somehow) Though, mind you, he was small enough that he wouldn't even be step-on-able, if you know what i mean. Anyway he somehow told me that he was working for the military, and he needed help getting back to fullsize as some experiment had gone awry and he was being left to figure it out on his own. I woke up and had one of those confused feelings where it happened too fast and my dream-logic overlapped with my real-world logic, momentarily.. as I roused, I feared I might lose him in my bed somewhere, or my girlfriend might roll onto him, and I was sad that i didn't get to find out more about how, exactly, he'd gotten so small. He was about to call me on his cell phone and explain it...

dream logic frightens me... i wish i could tap into that unreality some more, sometimes, but i have come to the conclusion that I don't wanna fuck with my brain too much because it will unseat everything that is real and logical to me. hnce, no psychotropic drugs, thanks very much. There's always the chance that such a thing could occur naturally i suppose, especially if i keep up this habit of keeping such crazy hours.

my head is really all over the place about the recent developments in my life. the usual things I have been bitching about,a nd feel no need to repeat. suffice to say it's still a very real and pertinent thing in many regards, to how i am conducting my days right now. i love the irony of "a new year, a fresh start" and all of that. oh, how much richer it would be if i was almost 30... i would take that as a sign, most likely. Stranger still (or not so mucjh, if you know how my brain works) I have actually considered putting certain future decisions to the flip of a coin. That's how i will usualy gambled in vegas, and it's served me fairly well enough. It would be a great story for my life, but somehow that feels a little to0 ludicrous even for me. I have enough stories by now don't I, anyway?

Probably not.

In the meantime, I have been crankin' away on another art test - and I have an interview for a possibly decent job tomorrow (unrelated). let's see what else this week brings, siiiiigh.

things to do:
finish art test
wash couch slipcover, bedding
start trackin' down my god-dadaDAMNED car title (still haven't received it)
return to the gym (it's been about 6 weeks.. at least?)
shoot some photos in town, i need a lot more reference while the getting's good
waiting for 2 paychecks in the mail
comedy show tues night would be fun to check out
read bryan's novel
shave (it's reassuring to put easy things on the list)
look for iPod warranty, though it's a futile task
buy some food for my fridge, stop eating so much take-out (expensive)
valentine's day??

guess that's it for my life, then... for the moment.