Sunday, August 16, 2009

so bright

Hello there. I am up late (very very late) as I am doing laundry, and don't wanna leave it in the machine 'cause it will get all wrinkled.

So, things are alright. where do I begin? First of all, I am very very tired. it's almost 5am and I would love to be unconcious right now, I do find myself getting sleepier lately - I wonder why, I can think of a couple of reasons (for example, my body's rhythms are generally pretty warped, lately). I finished up "the Master Cleanse," I quit it early as I was starting to feel kind of gross (constant headaches, feeling more sluggish, throat was getting tight and achey). I made it 7 days I believe, I could have gone a few more days (today would have been the final day) but I had things I needed to be responsible for and so I had to duck out of it early. No matter - maybe I will try it again at some point, though I can feel some effects from it right now (like I said, my rhythms are out of whack). Most notably, my appetite has markedly diminished-

It was a strange week, I was in an office all week helping out (what I could) for that startup. It was an interesting experience - just like a waking dream, actually. "A job that wasn't," though it was nice to be sitting in an office for a few days, at this point I can say I know what else to expect. Hopefully a real job will come of it, though I have learned by now not to expect such things. I look forward to receiving some enlightening news in the next week or so, we will see what happens. Long story short, if it picks up and means I have some income again, then the sooner = the better!

Our iPhone game is nearly two weeks into it's release now, it's all slowed way down - I believe we are getting a couple of sales a day, if that. It's a bit disconcerting, though it feels good to have the app out and be working on the next one. Watching the day-to-day of the Appstore scene can be very discouraging in many ways, and the sheer volume of apps releasing is just more and more overwhelming. All that being said, I am very excited to move forward with the development of FlipSide and see how it turns out. A lot of the nuts and bolts of this new game are figured out and mid-execution on my end, so I just need to continue with the follow-through and see where it goes. I am still excited to see how this thing will perform in reality, as opposed to just conceptually in my head.

I went out last night for drinks with my friend Jake, after visiting with my other friend Justin who'd been in from out of town (he moved to Australia some months ago) - so it was a pretty packed evening. I had a really good time, if a little tiring - I feel a little bad for going out and spending a little bit of money on boozing, but honestly I haven't really got to go out and do that in what seems like an extremely long time. It was just nice to get out with another guy and not have to deal with anything, at all, except shooting the breeze and kicking back a couple of Guinesses. Can't really ask for too much more from a Friday night!

Well I should wrap up in here, laundry should be ready soon. Hopefully the week will bring good news, or at least just stay mellow (and in another weeks' time, I will be glad if I've not replaced the few pounds - 8 or so - I have shed in the past couple of weeks).

Saturday, August 08, 2009


Hello blog. You stupid, STUPID BLOG.

Man, I never write in this thing anymore. I guess there's a few good reasons for that - really busy all the time, not tremendously happy, and busy if I hadn't mentioned it before. Not to sound like a downer, I mean things will get better - 2009 is just quite draggy in general for a lot of people. Pardon me if I repeat myself.

I notice not many people look at this thing anymore (I used to get a fair amount of hits!) which is fine with me, I really only like to write in this thing for myself in order to track what's going on in my own life over time - it is therapeautic to put stuff in here, and helpful (somehow) to go back and read it later. I feel if I let too much time pass in between entries, then I am not doing a good job of following through with the reason I even keep this. Amazing how I am geting on 5 years of maintaining such a (semi-steady) journal, however.

Life is okay. It's a little hairy but I am hanging in. Awfully busy, as usual. This year, while not a "wonderful time," has taught me many lessons and forced me to deal with a lot of different roles. It's definitely been some trying times - and as I get older and wiser, I can only see more of that coming more frequently and heavier. I guess I always figured as one aged, they'd get more into their groove and overall things would just come more naturally, smoother. Maybe for some people, depending on their situation. I don't mean to make it sound like "ohhh my life is full of hardships!" but I've definitely missed some kind of cutoff where "the big plan would be all figured out." I guess I can take a fair amount of solace in the fact that many of my contemporaries seem to be going through the exact same shenanigans - so it isn't just me!

My friend Ben and I launched our first iPhone game this past week, at last - it was a lot of stress getting it out the door, and doing a 2-man project is definitely quite demanding. Interestingly, putting together the actual game wasn't much effort at all, after all these years that stuff comes easy. Writing a design and putting together assets, all while maintaining a low technical overhead, is really old hat to us at this point. The big issue was dealing with all the other stuff - all the marketing, promotion, social networking, just for our little project. That's never really been much of an issue in my life before, except of course when I am "selling myself" (as a brand, essentially) while looking for a job. In that way, I suppose it wasn't too much of a stretch. Anyway, it was very gratifying to figure that stuff out, and get some coverage in the videogame news world - it feels so weird and wonderful to type the game's name into a search engine and see it pop up at all these places where I'd not specifically fought tooth and nail to just sumbit it to, seeing the little drawings I did show up in thumbnailed images. Sure I have worked on games before and had stuff pop up all over the place, but that was always dealt with by someone else at that point after I handed my work off. This was a different kind of gratification.

Anyway our new game "iFist" has been out nearly a week now, like I said getting good reviews and all but - man - the iPhone market is not easy to crack, getting people to spend money on ANYTHING is such a tall order. It makes me a little queasy about our follow-up, but at the same time I feel more properly directed now. As of this moment (about 5 days) I am not sure if we've got 50 sales - I intend to break 1,000 sales of the follow-up game. I guess I had better get workin'.

So we are doing this Master Cleanse diet right now, me and May and a bunch of our friends. I am not sure if this is one of the stupider things I have done in my life, as it's essentially a 10-day liquid diet. No food, at all! Just this mixture of lemonade, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water. It is interesting. Ever morning when i wake up I need to down a tall glass of salt water to shit out whatever's sitting left-behind in my bowels, to "flush out the toxins" - whatever that means. To be honest, the reason this sounded appealing to me is because I have such terrible eating habits (lots of Burger King) and I do booze way too much (even if I am not paying for it!) This seemed like a good excuse to kind of shock myself out of the routine. We'll see how it goes. It's early into Day 3 right now and I feel alright - pretty normal, really - I do kind of "miss" eating, but as I've been out of work for many months I don't really eat things that I enjoy much, anyway. Also, I kind of eat out of boredom or frustration - I know, it sounds sorta pathetic. So we'll see what happens. It would be nice (hell it would be WONDERFUL) to lose my gut, but I have any illusions about this. I usthpe I don't mess my system up or something-

I have started working with a small start-up in the valley. It's interesting, and it has got potential, but of course I am rather sketched about it. These things are really difficult to call, as has been the case in the past "sometimes you want something so badly, that you kind of look past the parts of it that don't add up in hopes that it will just somehow 'work out okay.'" Well, I think lots of people fall into that trap at some point in their lives, and I guess it kind of goes hand-in-hand with the saying "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Sometimes you've just got to roll the dice and see what comes up. At this point, I've done it a few times in a row ad it's been coming up sort a flat - and now faced with the current situation, whereas in the past I would have been all guns-blazing excited, now I am just kind of weary and tired. It's a nice prospect and certainly I'd love to see it follow-through - as it seems like a short-term commitment (to see if it's legit or not) I guess I can hang out for awhile. 'Cause honestly, otherwise, I really just have to pack up all my shit (or sell it, really) and get out of town and start my life (gulp) over somewhere else in search of a fresh opportunity. This land is pretty barren!

Well, it is the weekend. I have to take a shower, then batten down and get cranking on iPhone game #2. I am very eager to make headway with it, and there's a nice easy blueprint to work from. It's pretty well-figured-out and only needs to be executed, the thing is that after the last game I need to really hit it the hell out of the park aesthetically. Off we go, then..