Sunday, December 30, 2007

train kept a-rollion'

whew, a couple minutes of free time in between the gallavantin', might as well check in with Ye Olde Internete.

Things are alright, the last few days have been sorta hectic I suppose. Friday I guess we sorta hung out (Brother drove in from Boston so we could get some hotdogs, we drove back to Cambridge to pick up his girlfriend and then back here to Framingham to have dinner with the folks, plus my Uncle. my Low-Carb Uncle). Saturday my mother brought May and I to meet her manicurist in Natick (yes, that is how you know it must be serious!) and then I graced my belly with a Number Nine from D'Angelo's. We caught a ride back to the city with my brother once again, stopped to visit friends Dante and Mary in Brighton before catching a taxi to Central Square in Cambridge. Earlier in the day (err the day prior, I think) my buddy Joe informed me that the Mighty Mighty Bosstones were doing their traditional year-end string of shows in a little local club, The Hometown Throwdown at The Middle East - though the band haven't performed together publicly in about 5 years or so (likewise they've not recorded anything since). I was always a fan of those guys, though I've only seen them barely a handful of times - but I'd never been to one of the Throwdown shows, so it was sort of the case where "it's a bitch to set it up now when I'd really rather be picking up with my buddies, but I KNOW I will regret skipping the show!" My buddy found an extra ticket for me (the show was sold out) and I managed to get another one (for my girl) from a scalper out in front just before the opening act started up.

The show was fun! I have only been to the landmark Middle East a couple of times, likewise, but each time was extremely memorable (God Lives Underwater, Hum, Rocket from the Crypt) - and now the Bosstones. So yeah some of my all time favorites, certainly. I yakked with my friends and put down a few vodka drinks while we waited for the main act to take the stage (fittingly, they did so when I was squattin' over the pot). I rushed out and into the mosh pit with my mates. Now - I have been to a few shows in my day, and certainly to my fair share of dance nights since I've relocated out west. I am usually the long gangly idiot out there in the middle of the dance floor tearing it up like a caveman, my giant hair thrashing about and my legs and arms kickinng and bashing all over the place like an out-of-control retarded babboon or something. Usually it's not taken to, too well (I got kicked out of a vegas club for dancin' like that) and folks will generally shy away from me when I behave thusly in Los Angeles (well.. sort of). Mind you I am not generally trying to piss anyone off, it's just where I have come from, I am a product of the punk rock and the grunge band style of dancing, if you could call it that.. but yeah! In the nineties, that was how we danced, all crazy and violent and thrashy. And it was accepted, generally, and you sort of had a connection with one-another in the middle of it, you'd smash into one another but you'd also protect each other from falling on, or getting squished or run-down. It was interesting, I suppose. Anyway that's all gone the way of the Dodo, so to speak, but it was pretty much the scene at the concert last night, a return to (caveman!) times passed. The setlist they played was alright, a mix of decent and "eh" songs (hard to be picky I guess, but you will always complain if you're me) Still we all knew the words to all the tunes, and screamed them out, exasperated, as we belted one another every which way. It was fun, though, a nice release! Real Boston crowd too (appropriately). lots of dudes dressed like House of Pain not 'cause they were trying to rip that style, but because it is their local style (which I guess got defined by bands like that .. so yeah.. I guess they WERE ripping that style) but whatever. Lots of Irish and Jewish looking faces in that crowd. I was just psyched the drinks didn't cost an arm and a leg. I pretty much tore off my Tshirt about halfway through the set, since it was completely sopping wet with booze and sweat as if I'd just come in out of a rainstorm. The sole of my trusty boot got ripped (finally!) and I got a nice little gash on my finger, but all in all I would say it was a great time = no regrets. Thanks for the hookups, Joe and Terry!

Today I have been hanging out locally in the neighborhood, I gave my girl the driving tour of the area where I grew up (the houses we lived at, the schools I went to, the house where my neighbor went crazy and eviscerated his poor wife and stuck her organs on sticks all over the yard, that sort of thing). We will head into the city soon, once again, to meet some friends for dinner. I feel bad for the poor kid "now here's some MORE people to meet, and here's some MORE and etc etc"

Right now I should go give some attention to the poor dog they got, which is really young (less than a year) and exploding with energy and no outlet for it. So he just cries and bites stuff all day long.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

year 2007 almost all done!

so of course.. what did 2007 bring, to the world of videogames? Certainly.. wayyy too much for a gent like me to recall. So here, then, is a smattering of what comes readily to mind. Then, as now..

-This marks the First year I've heavily become a NeoGAF-Addict. So help me. I guess I started last year, but the past 12 are where the addiction really took hold. Mind you.. I registered this past April, STILL waiting to get Jr Member status ('til then. I still can not even make a single reply, let alone a post!)

-I interviewed for a few jobs (Technicolor, Kaos, Obsidian) - also completed a 2nd round of an Art Test for Naughty Dog (Uncharted) - which obviously didn't get me in over there, but I still think it came off rather well.

-Started working for Obsidian this past March, "Project Georgia" --> 'nuff said. Still employed there as of this writing.

-Console Acquisitions - I got a Wii (for my girlfriend - another for my parents, as well!). Personally I acquired a 360 Refurbished, and got into Xbox Live of course. I am a week into ownership of a PS3.. also recently acquired an aged Turbografx-16, and I am still hunting down a CD-Rom that WORKS! Also I finally landed a Test PS2 (plays burns, JPN titles)

-Games - picked up a lot of games this year. What was the most memorable? Uhm.. geez.. A lot of good ones came out, but nothing that really blew me away personally (sigh, I probably had the most fun with "new games" that were in Wii Sports... well that and I guess Rock Band, but does that technically count? I just sing Karaoke on it..) Memorable moments were Hulk 2, Skate, Flipnic Ultimate Pinball, Psychonauts.. umm. I will add to the list when I get home and look at the actual shelf, haha.

-Games I actually enjoyed (oldies as usual) - SMS Choplifter, PCE Columns (oh God it was bad for awhile. I mean GOOD bad). Those were emulated on GBA of course.

-Haha, I picked up the Tabletop Coleco Games from Ebay - Pacman, Galaxian, Frogger. Zaxxon also but rerturned it (the guy sold me a busted one!)

-Sony's PS3 suffered. BADLY. No release yet for Home.. no LittleBigPlanet.. No MGS.. No exclusive for GTA VI, lost it for Devil May Cry 4. It's coming along, but it's limping. Ummm.. Kutaragi gets kicked to the curb (he essentially INVENTED Playstation, PS2, PSP also I guess, and yes the PS3 was his freakiest Frankenstein yet) but I guess someone had to "get to retire" for this Top-Heavy Tragedy.

-Sony did get a release for Ratchet and Clank, likewise Uncharted. Also squeezed out Unreal Tournament 3, or so they say (I've yet to see it). I heard the 1st two didn't sell wonderfully though.. dunno about UT3. The games were cool but not system-buy-worthy (like, say.. Mario Galaxy).

-Sony got a little hurt with Heavenly Sword (not bad), bludgeoned with Lair (what.. what happened?), surprised with a good show for Warhawk (whew!) On that note..

-Warhawk becomes 1st Playstation network full-downloadable game (as opposed to a "Jr level game"). Which it still sort-of is, but it sounds like it's pretty much there. Releases in-store as well with a headset. Gets the Walmart's of the world a little pissed off - sign of things to come, for sure. Um.. watch this space! (Shudder)

-God of War II release party, with dead animals. The press goes mad. Wow.

-Sellouts galore! I mean -- Sony buys Evolution (Motorstorm). Activision Buys Bizarre Creations (Project Gotham Racing). EA buys Bioware and Pandemic (for nearly a BILLION $$$). Activision and Vivendi combine to form Devastator. Meanwhile Halo dev bungie slinks away from Microsoft, strangely (but honorably) - immediately after releasing their latest system-seller.

-E3 comes back as a boring Marketing and Business-event only that no one attends. As gaming gets more and more exciting, buzz falls flat into the middle of the netherword. Thousands mourn. E for All rises to take the place of E3 as a "spiritual successor," but of course no one cares as it's not quite-so-special anymore. Besides, you have to pay. Whatever.

-Neversoft inherits Guitar Hero from previous dev Harmonix and churn out installation number Three. Harmonix powers up with EA and spits out the logical evolution, Rock Band. Both are great, all things considered - I will just say I think Rock Band changed the world a little more and Guitar Hero better pull something fancy out of it's next iteration to continue to be relevant. Or at least, do something dirty and downright mean. Sigh - Clash of the Titans, at this point.

-Madden released again. But it sold poorly, considering that this is one of the most profitable institutions in the history of anything, ever..

-Generally, EA is cleaning up it's rep as a horrible place with horrible games, in it's post EA_Spouse model, by being slightly less horrible to work at with decent (I mean, actually GOOD) games releasing. The Simpsons Game, while not wonderful, is good for what it is (all things considered). I was a naysayer of skate and now I complain it absolutely worthy of purchase, talk about loving your game. MySims, or whatever they call it, for Wii - not for most, but for who it is for, they know what they are doing (if you can make heads or tails of that sentance, I commend you!) I still don't like the Evil Empire, but EA is making some overall elegant moves as the business industry fluctuates drastically around them. At least they look a little less sloppy than Activision. In some ways, sigh, it's all so blurry and pointless now isn't it.

-Jeff Gertsmann (name probably misspelled, my apologies) fired from gamespot after like 11 years 'cause of Kane and Lynch. Yeah, maybe the nail in the coffin, but still that was weird and ugly. Yeah stuff goes on behind the scenes that none of us know about. Hopefully, if the guy isn't a huge jerk or something, this is actually a huge boost in his career in the end. I know so little about this stuff (other than what everyone else can also see) so I will refrain from hypothosizing - all I know is that sometimes, life is not fair and good people get robbed. Here is hoping that the wide audience of this story is useful more than useless - though it can always go either way, I suppose.

-360's red ringing (that is, fatal error) all across Mother Nature. Come ON. I am tired of putting up with horroriffic technology that people tolerate to such a degree. It's only the beginning (but man, this stuff is EXPENSIVE.)

-the Wii. 2 gamecubes duct-taped together, to be sure. With a waggle-wand to boot. And yet - SO HARD TO ACTUALLY BUY, even one year hence. Nintendo, my friends, you have changed the world so many times I have lost count. Who knows what weirdness you will cook up next. So long as it keeps being weird in a cool way, then I say, have at you.

-delays: Spore (um.. it looks gross now? Well, it's been a few years, but it's Will Wright, so who knows) MGS 4 (that panther has a Hot Ass. Oh my!) Devil May Cry 4 (not really exclusive anymore I guess - PS3 coughs a little). GTA IV gets setback (at least) a season. Also M$ pays megabucks for exclusive GTA IV DLC. Does this matter? Sure, in some ways.. I guess. Too Human also fails to appear, with a bit of weird rambling by Silicon Knights (the game's dev) president Denis Dyack popping around here and there to spout off of love of the game and hate of the games press.. or love of the press but hate of the way the press works.. or.. something. oh it was confusing, but at least it was interesting to follow. Anyway the guy has heart, which is encouraging. Oh yeah, don't forget the delay for Wii Smash Bros Brawl!

-Also Dyack started a big crazy lawsuit against Unreal Editor (this gen's industry-wise answer to Renderware - that is, the Next Gen Engine of Choice by most folks, as it made history with Gears of War last year!) developer Epic MegaGames, who have their hands full with tons of craziness all across the world all the time anyway, for reasons you can expect (mostly). Anyway suits and countersuits followed, some people whined, now it's sitting in a big legal mess somewhere up on a big mountain of money and no one really wants to pay attention to it at the moment. Don't worry, it will come back.

-A Shadowrun update came out, I think it was by FASA (who shortly closed thereafter). Shadowrun - big cyberpunky-sorta PG back in 16bit days, though it was sorta low-profile. Anyway some people loved it, some hated it. I couldn't tell ya.

-Oblivion mega-dev's say that they're making the next Fallout. Some people are pissed, but most folks seem to think it's in good hands. Meanwhile Interplay exists somewhere in between this existence and the next, SOMEHOW, and say that there's a Fallout MMO.. or something.. in development. But not really. But they are employing people, technically. Sort of. It's sketchy, right?

-Meanwhile, WOW continues to own people's souls. Yes - their SOULS, man. I mean, Blizzard finally moves into a new campus and hires more crazy people and announces more craziness (a new Starcraft 2 game, shows it off- apparently, very similar to the already-works formula but in THREE DEE). also another non-WOW MMO is coming (Diablo?) Starcraft Ghost still seems dead, but there's another WOW expansion coming (Lich King I think). But whatever. WOW is amazing for what they've done (it's bigger than ANYTHING - and besides, it owns all those souls!) And I still don't care personally, but hey. You've got to recognize.

-Assassin's Creed. Another victim of good pedigree and hot producer, failing to live up to the hype. is this really anyone's fault? It looked good enough to me, but seemed to be the victim of "too little too late." Gorgeous game and interesting ideas, might've stayed in the oven another 6 months. Maybe the sequel will do better.

-Transformers Movie Game. yeah, who cares, but with one of the best possible licenses around, it could have been sooo good. I know, history proves time and again there'll never actually be a REALLY COOL Transformers game, but man.. what a waste. Damn, let ME make the game. I promise it will be fun.

-Rockstar makes headlines with controversy. What a surprise! How unusual, right? Biggest shocker was the Manhunt 2 debacle "tooo violent, we want to label it adults only!" Bah... they crank it down and some kids crack the code for the PSP version anyway, but it's too muddled to deserve any actual Hot Coffee-style lawsuits/hurtful media at that point. Further salt is poured on the wounds when original dev Rockstar Vienna receives NO CREDIT for their work on the game, though the studio's been closed for some time (supposedly it's "an embarrasment") and Rockstar Toronto (I guess) gets all the credit. Though still kinda who cares/whatever, as the game rates miserably. Just another day in the life, I guess. Um.. geez, these guys are attention whores. At least they still manage to get industry-changing games out in spite of this weird confused drivel.

-Huge historic releases across the board, all things considered. Current-gen consoles begin swinging with their first-wave of post-launch titles, in the case of Wii and PS3. Xbox 360 gets it's second-wave of releases (it's got a year on the other two systems). Wii counts sort of half-way between the two, as it is honestly older-hardware coupled with newer design philosophy (motion control, accessibility to nongamers). Generalizing, we have;
Wii: Super Mario Galaxy - huge setup for what many expected to possibly fall flat (following the not-stellar Super Mario Sunshine of Gamecube). Apparently the most-loved-game by everyone in recent memory. Though I have not played it, everywhere it's name is spoken you hear LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. For some reasons, this MIGHT be GOTY, all across the board. Like in a Scorcese kind of way.
Metroid 3 - Motion controlled, I hear lots good about it, expect it to fade with the rest but sounds like "if you liked before, you will still like now" - they keep their franchises well-stocked, what can I say.
Wii Play - I think that released 2007. Not sure! A huge seller, since it packs in a 2nd Wiimote (no nunchuk though). By itself kinda meh, but definitely worth it for obvious reasons and still stupid-fun enough to warrant being mentioned here. I mean, anyway, EVERYONE owns it at this point..
Mario Party 8 - why do I mention this here? Actually it's probably BS, but something about a game with the moniker "Mario Party" showing up within the fist year of the Wii's existence just seems telling. I haven't touched it yet, but I am glad it's there (and what I have seen of it, looked noteworthy). Probably useless if you played the other, um SEVEN MP's, but if you're a Wii newcomer (as many are) this is probably deserving of a spot on your shelf.
Super Mario RPG - I mean.. Super Paper Mario - Uh, hell this game looked cool, and it had a good gimmick, and everyone was clamoring for it. So why did it fall apart? The shots and lead-in still look right-on. Too bad they blew it. Worth a mention as a disappointment, in a big way. Maybe not a bad game, but certainly a waste of a golden opportunity from a place you might not expect. Then again..
XBox 360: Halo - release of the year, whether or not you care (I don't). Years in the making, and it sounds like they fulfilled expectations. Built to last for fun, though I am sure at this point "the party is over."
Bioshock - Destined to become Sleeper of the year, it surprised everyone by being a good time with a cool aesthetic, rating REALLY well, and selling wonderfully to boot. Possibly a bit overrated (I think it won't last, for some reasons) but it did a great job of making a standout name for itself during a ridiculously crowded year, sounds like it was substantial enough to boot. Though, ultimately forgettable, alongside everything else - what can be considered classic, these days? Time (and use/abuse of a franchise) will tell.
Crackdown - low expectations, seemed like a cheesy cop-out "buy this to get Halo 3 beta!"and it actually had some staying power as a fun game, to boot! I expect more good things from these devs. Of course, by the end of the year, it is pretty forgotten as well.
The Darkness - Starbreeze made a huge splash last gen with Xbox Riddick - apparently they suffered the usual sophomore syndrome with this title, then. Not bad, but again, so what? We can't help but expect games like these at this stage, good-but-ultimately-filler.. it's hard to say they are BAD, per se, since they are not, but in the company of the other releases of the days (and with such a powerful pedigree) one would hope for something stronger. We'll see what follows, eh.
Orange Box - yeah, the name, the name. Who cares, sometimes weird stuff works, so dig it! Anyway, no matter how you look at it, if you are a gamer this is the deal of the year for several reasons! Just another excuse to cement valve as one of the most important devs of the day, and with expectations through the roof for their future. Well.. probably. Meanwhile, I am anxious to play Portal at some point.
Mass Effect - Oh. you know. Bioware. Go, Doctors!
Pac-Man Championship Edition: The joke release that had the last laugh on everyone, in reverse (meaning.. it was actually really a good game!) Downloadable of the year, I'd say so.
PS3: Lair - Should have been good. What a mess. The game reviewers guide. julian Egglebrecht, or whatever his name is, with horrible damage control. What should have been at least competent ended up being "a big waste of everyone's time." I haven't played it, strangely I am tempted to rent it - except I know I'd regret it in like 15 seconds after booting. How do people let those things happen in this day and age of multi-million dollar game project investments?
Uncharted and Ratchet and Clank - mentioned above by loved veteran Sony dev's, "it's up to them to save the day!" Well, consider this your next iteration. But so what - it's just another brick in the wall. These games are good, but are they really half a bill good, even together? I won't knock them 'cause they are capable, reviewed well, and people say they are fun and good-looking. But still game like UR MR GAY (super mario galaxy) and UR MR GAY HALO will sweep them, at the end of the day. I am being unfairly harsh, but come on, it's Playstation THREE, it's the Second Coming of the Second Coming. If anything, they can be considered good harbingers of what is to come, but a solid note that things must be stepped up. We will see in 08 if there's the needed follow-up, eh?
God of War II - another amazing game into this kinda late-debuting franchise, but wait - this is a PS2 title, wrong list huh? Okay, well, it's forgotten this late in the year, and bitched about by some, but the fact stands that Sony can blast an unforgettable and powerful franchise out of literally nowhere, just by blasting enough time/money/capable manpower when it wants to. If this released on PS3 this Xmas, with appropriate visuals, no doubt it would have swept Game of the Year for the system and got a lot more resoect for all parties considering. Instead it makes Sony look kind of headstrong and stubborn, while sort of noble in trying to support their gazillion install base. But - blah to nobility, at least this way. We want our next gen sequel - it will come, and it will come properly!
Warhawk - mentioned earlier, for obvious reasons.
Nintendo DS: Okay, it's not Next-gen per se, but it's next-gen handheld (close enough) and honestly the best system if you're a gamer these days so definitely belongs here with it's bretheren. What have we got for the old boy?
Pokemon DS - a summer 2007 release, already completely forgotten by EVERYONE. But it came out at a time when there was nothing to play anywhere, and it was a freakin' Pokemon Baby-game, and all the RPGheads who gave it the time of day made much love to it. And apparently it deserved it. Nintendo could poop these out with relative frequency at this point, and in some ways it does - but they do it in a way that's to their credit, and they make incredible money off it respectfully. Pokemon = not for me, but could have been beyond-shriveled up by now, it's served it's purpose - and still they build it with quality.
Puzzle Quest - I think it started on DS. this particular craze. I am all good for promoting decent Puzzle games in this day and age, it may well be my favorite genre. This sounds like a strange mix of ideas, but kudos for being relevant. Maybe a little sloppy, but all things considered, it's heartening to hear things like this.
Drawn to Life - another "weird" game, definitely a "baby game," like they say, but still honest and interesting in concept. As long as they keep making weird-idea DS games coming that aren't just shoveled out completely, it retains it's pertinence - make the games really good with follow-through, and then it becomes valuable. This might lack in that department, but for noob studios to do stuff like this, they get credit these days, from me.
Contra 4 - Okay, Ping Pals made this. It's CONTRA. Too many frames of animation for me, but this was made by contra lovers FOR contra lovers (esp. after too many years of franchise defecation). Cheers to see that they still have people who care enough to do the RIGHT thing. If it was more eight-bitty then I might go out and actually buy a DS for this, as it is I still kinda should.
Planet Puzzle League - which I think is the name - Tetris Attack remains one of the best, BEST BEST BEST, most-fun games I have ever played in all my years of living, and sad to see I discovered it way too much later than the rest of the world. that they can get a game like this out makes me retardedly happy, even if I am still playing the fossilized version. Hell I logged in too many hours of the B/W Gameboy version recently. This game deserves acclaim - DO it.
Zelda:Phantom Hourglass - they did not need to release another quality Zelda title this year, and time will likely not be too kind to it, (or.. will it?) But that's fine, because no matter what - if you like good games, then it is at your service.
PSP - might as well, right?
Crush - The coolest game no one played. It's a lot of people's fault, and it's a shame.
Ultimate Ghosts and Goblins - not sure but I think was actually a 2006 release. Still I will throw it in 'cause The franchise needs some notice, it used to be alongside Mario for crying out loud. I don't think I heard this game was even too great, but still I want it to be remembered. But man.. fix the name!
Dracula X: Rondo of Blood.. err. Chronicles.. um. I don't know the official name of this game, and I don't care I guess. I would have picked it up had I owned a PSP. I still don't own (or want) a PSP for a variety of reasons. This game is very noteworthy as it's an (admittedly ugly) remake of one of the hardest-to-locate games in the history of popular franchises, somewhere up there with the JPN Super Mario 2 (though in a completely different way). This game gets bonus points for value, with a (gross-looking) 3D remake of the original game, plus the original 2D version in there with the first Metroidvania thrown in for good measure. You can't argue with that logic.
that's my list for now (of noteworthy titles of 2007). Likely to add to it in the future. Anyway I think I have typed enough for one session, pardon the notable absences..

these blogs were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do.. of these days, these blogs are going to walk all over youR FACE AND KILL YOU AND MAKE YOU BLIND AND SPIT AND PISS AND CURSE AND SO MUCH DYING WILL HAPPEN AND OH YEAH BOY YOU'LL BE SORRY AND VERY VERY DEAD, whew, oh so I am glad that I was able to get all of that out of my system. I need a glass of Guiness.

It's another day in my life, of the end of another year, and just the same, then. I am writing this from the somewhat able keyboard that is 3,000 miles from my usual point of information dispatch, as I am visiting my parents and some friends back in the ever-lovin' eazt coazt. Yep, it being the holidays, and me having a pair of free tickets, I thought I'd use them to fly back to snowy rainy Boston, AGAIN, rather than having some wild clandestine sexual rendezvous, or two, with some herpes-ridden young hussy in say.. Flagstaff or North Dakota. Oh, take your pick. Nah, I am not that kind of guy, I would rather hook up with a trashed young lady in Memphis or Albuqurque. Oh, who am I kidding (I mean, I know I spelled that city incorrectly). it's a good thing my ma doesn't read this. Or my girlfriend (choke).

That being the case, i took my girlfriend of nearly 3 years back east to meet the family (yeah, my myspace profile still proclaims my status as "single," that was her idea alright?!) One full day in, I'd say it went fairly well so far. The next couple of days we'll schlep around the estate and hook up with some of the other regulars, but I suppose the hardest part is over. Or at least the most anxiety-inducing. Haha. Anyway, we got my folks a Wii videogame for the holidays (usually I am pretty 100% selfish and don't give them anything. Ever. For any occasion) Not because I am not thoughtful, or not 'cause I can't afford it, but just mostly because I am a lazy self-centered narcissistic egomaniac who can only think about one thing (buying shit for me and myself ONLY) absolutely all the time. Maybe i paint a pretty terrible picture, but come on, you are all just as terrible as me, you know? Honestly, I think it has more to do with the fact that I just dislike buying things in general, for me or other people. Not that I don't think they are worth it, more like I feel that friendship, and time are the only things of real honest value. Oh, hogwash who am I kidding! Truthfully, I do think that way, and I don't care if no one never doesn't by nuthin' for me (that sentance, it is rife with double-negatives.. some triple's as well.. but you got the point).

I recently had a little of a philosophical shift, however, and decided it was perhaps better to fall in line with the rest of the overly consumerist society and succumb like everyone else, at least because in the short term EVERYONE else in the world seems to become more pleased by the material gains. i mean.. I like stuff, too. Maybe not the newest fanciest gadgets all the time (I like weird eccentric doodads) but as people, it's part of our nature to devour external physical stimuli. I have gone on (at length) defending this argument in the past, specifically within this journal, so I will leave it at that for now, other than to say buying things for people, while keeping it modest, is not necessarily the worst gesture one make. I stand by the conviction that I am pretty satisfied not to receive reciprocation (i have enough clutter!), at least in the vein of "it's a holiday. I should buy Ron something" though I definitely don't mind if someone is out in the wild and sees something really bizarre and unique to my tastes that would suit me. but that's cool if they just send me a picture of it, just the same (i have too much clutter.. I have too much clutter.. I have too much clutter). On a last note, I will never turn down a free drink/lunch. Food and booze = NOT clutter! Hey. Sex is DEFINITELY not clutter. Well, maybe it is traumatic at times, I will give you that (and food is clutter of the belly.. and arteries). Okay, enough.

So so, end of 2007. It feels weird to say 2007 is OVER when 2006 still seems like a date which is far away in the FUTURE. 2008 is just another number, but we are ekeing closer to 2010 - definitely. I am ratcheting closer to my mid-thirties, as well - and getting harder and harder to make excuses for "why have I still not accomplished X, Y and Z with my life..." I don't really hold myself to task so much for that stuff these days, as it's usually just "keep out of trouble and everything is fine," with a bit of "keep your job. Just keep your goddamned INCOME for a change" as the runner-up. It seems like such things should be no-brainer, and I am such a mellow guy in many ways, but I have that stupid deep-down thing that urges for the drama, the shake-up. Well, the variety. I have thrown that part of me more than enough bones after all these years, and pushed it fairly thin by being who I am and living where I do, having this kind of a lifestyle (some would consider it elegant, yet imbecilic) that I guess it all balances out quite nicely as those things do. And still, it's enough to piss me off that I've only reached a certain plateau, the highs and lows I could yet possibly attain are forever dangled just in front of my face (man, you know, i would make such a wonderful career gambler!) I look at old(er) people, more and more often - see the signs that someday I will be among them, and realize that with each tick of the clock, I only have so much time to wring life out of this moldy stinky towel before I start using up resources that are impossible to replenish. Yes.. it's GOOD to have that pressure (without which there'd be no motivation to do ANYTHING, really!) but the two minds that make me up can only hand the baton back-and-forth so many times before one of them gets finally tired of that whole back-and-forth. (Oh man, do ALL languages have to be so metaphor-driven as mine, or am I just falling back on ways to take up space?)

Self-important drama aside, each year at this time I will always evaluate the recent past and the possible future and weight the two, what could be, what should be, what will be. Devil Ron wants this, Angel Ron wants that, and Actual Ron just wants to lie back on the couch while the two warring factions tantalize each other and get it over with so I can get something delicious to eat and get on with my day. That sounds cute or silly, but it's becoming easier to identify with. I am in my mid-thirties, like I said - as I get older, the possibility of becoming any kind of world-traveler (and documentarian, in whichever fashion) are slipping further and further away. Yes, with age comes money and wisdom (well.. one would hope). But with youth one has vigor, and necessary naivete and innocence. "Old enough to know better" indeed. Thirties is truly the sweet spot, the last vestige, the end of my youth and innocence, and the last chance i have to be either an outrageous who-cares partier or set the course for being a cleaned-up productive member of some cog working in the great powerful society of the early 21st century. So why is my hair long and gangly still, I wonder.

A year ago I was faced with similar questions, and different circumstances - now so many things are different, but as usual the stakes are a little higher, there is more to lose. I would love to throw my hands up in the air and leave it to the decision of Fate, but we all know that is Random Chaos bullshit (well, that is what I will adhere to) and no one can accept any responsibility for any of it beyond my own programming. My own god-damned programming...

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


Whoa, whoa. So much info to dump, so little time. The truth is, between work and life, I have not found time to blog much - and so again we have an apologetically-beginning blog. Such is life, friends. Anyway, there's much to say, and I don't want to spend to much time beating around the bush, so I will try to be clear and concise when possible. Here goes!

Things are alright at work - it's wound pretty far down, as one would imagine, given the time of year. I have been out since last Thursday night (it's Tuesday now) and another week to go until I return, I suppose... Anyway, things over there are moving along at an appreciable pace. It will be interesting to see what is the lay of the land once we get back to business as usual - but in the meantime, it's nice to be out of that element for a breather.

So the fine bosses over at the Big O hooked us up with our choice on next-gen (new-gen? current gen.. um.. y'know) at work for the holiday. Um.. excluding El Senor Wii for obvious reasons. Anyway as I've recently acquired a 360 by my own hand, I signed on for a PS3 - it arrived last Thursday. I got the 80GB system, extra controller (no rumble yet), and a Media Remote - um - whatever you wanna call it. It also comes with Motorstorm (motocross racing game) and of course the free online service. I brought the sucker home and squeezed it into my Uber-Massively Overbloated Media Congolomeration Entertainment Extravaganza Super-Deluxx Especiale System Grapevine Cheeseburger with Extra Cheese and Pickles. For those curious, here's how my home theater debacle looks at the moment (with Pickles):

Test PS2 (plays Japan/Burned games)
Sega Dreamcast
Sega Saturn
Modded Xbox (mame)
Xbox 360
Turbografx-16 (with busted CD-Rom - cards work though)
and my girlfriend's Wii is hooked up there as well. "What no NES?" I am pretty satisfied how the DC handles NES actually. Also I have a Sega Genesis boxed up in the closet as well, I suppose it will come out at some point. Not that there's really any room left for it.. So, yeah, it's a pretty crowded, potential firehazard I have set up there. What else is new.

Anyway, back to PS3. Since I am a relative n00b to the whole online console experience, and having recently got my feet wet with Xbox Live, it's very interesting to see what they've cooked up over at the PS3 camp - and granted it's a year in for them as well, so I know it must be hugely improved over the likely-lacking experience that must have previously been the case. Anyway, all tings considered, Playstation Network looks and runs fairly well. It's going for a more straightforward, adult look (that is, neutral colors, less "friendly") than Live. Also a litle less "user friendly," as Live will always prompt you to "go there" when you need to go to a different area to install something, run a completed download, perform a test, etc. It's a little niggling, but certainly things like that are the grease that makes the whole thing less of a pain to navigate. You can hop online fairly easily, and though it's a little clunky (for a moment), the browser-on-TV actually does work fairly well. I am sure you can plug a standard issue keyboard/mouse into the USB ports of the system and go right to town with it - I don't think I will get much use of it in the long run (why would I, when a PC is right beside it?) but it's nice to have.. also if you are gonna watch something on Youtube or whatever, I suppose.

As for online content, it looks fairly similar to how Live is setup, what with the demos and downloadable games and all of that. Live still kills it all over the place in this regard, between how it's setup, navigability, and just overall legibility.. but it's usable, and it is getting there. Just very sloppy still. You can tell they want to ripoff Live without being terribly direct about it, anyway. It's nice to think that they have downloadable PS1 titles on there (not that I have yet perused, really) and it's worth mentioning that I have not seen any "movie download service" akin to Live's, yet. Whichever of the two consoles figures that out, for REAL, will be a big contender for me. Also worth mentioning, is the Playstation "Wallet" system - you link up your credit card, etc. to deal with downloading non-demo titles at the store. I like this over anyting else (N or M$) in that instead of the Points BS, you're dealing with everything as actual for-real US Dollars, up front. No confusion or "perceived value.." that certainly endears me to them quite a bit. For whatever that is worth.

What have I downloaded? As usual, I try to load up my HD with demos of anything remotely interesting. DLing on my DSL account is slow as hell (???) but I set it up to go all night, then head out for the evening, so no matter (hey I have got other stuff to do, alright!) Here's a quick rundown, just to cover the bases:


Uncharted:Drake's Fortune (demo) - big xmas Naughty Dog exclusive for the system, and one of the most anticipated. I was trying to get a position working on this, actually - Anyway, we got the disc in at the office a few weeks ago, watching them play the early parts left me kind of uninterested. Regardless I DL'd the demo (I knew it was showing off a different section of the game) and liked it much, much better (to the point where I'd like to bring it home and give it a few spins). Very lush, very gorgeous - fun to tool around with, and the shooting action (for what it is worth) was enjoyable enough. Raised my interest quite a bit. Beautiful graphics - shows of PS3's power!

Insomniac's Ratchet and Clank Future : Tools of Destruction (demo). I've never been an RC player (I do have the 1st one, of which I have played maybe 10 minutes' worth) but I can appreciate what they have done with this title. It's looking GOOOOood. They are really pushing some geo and textures here, and it all flows smoothly, perfectly - it's not quite a real "living city" for real quite yet, but you get the feeling that there's always a lot of hectic excitement going on all over the place - it feels pretty intense. Play-wise, this thing is stuck in the dark ages, though. I don't need to jump and hack pointlessly anymore. Platformers can be fun, but this play style does not suit me, it feels so tired and done-over-and-over that I don't care HOW good it looks, it I doesn't inspire me to invest time or money. But I know this is a very successful franchise, it would be sort of risky to change all of that just for my sake. Well, maybe I will take home the office copy if I get bored.

Heavenly Sword (demo) - another anticipated title, I am not too terribly sure how well it was received - lukewarm perhaps, certainly not bad. I was expecting God of War smoothness, not that I am too adept with that game, this one just felt a little clunkier. It gave you some very satisfying action-killing-closeups, maybe if there was a little less constant-bombardment from the same enemies coming from everywhere to vary things up a bit, it would be more enticing. Just a demo of course - as usual, lush/perfect graphics, though a little chuttery on the framerate (and a little of the nonsense Quicktime events which I strongly detest). This game looks nice, the hero and action "feel right," and I am inclined to investigate more - could be some satisfying hack-n-slash. Nothing I would investigate if there was more on the shelf though.

Everyday Shooter - the first thing I loaded up on my PS3, before ANYTHING else (including the pack-in). I have been rather interested in this title, after hearing a bit about it's genesis. Yeah, a stylish (in a way) one-man-show, and for all intents and purposes it's just a freakin' Flash game, but it is fun and I like that they are promoting stuff like this. This is where gaming needs to go, in my opinion. I love REZ, and I want to see more like-minded stuff (ripoffs not so much, but inspired-by is certainly the way to go). For crying out loud, tis makes me want to buy Fantavision, there I said it...! Anyway I had to straight-up buy this thing right away.

Ridge Racer (yawn!), Formula One something-or-other (yuck.. yuck!), a couple of other games that I don't recall. I haven't played them all yet. The Rub-a-Dub game (Flicky crossed with controller gimmick) felt thin at first but has grown on me, I might throw 10 bones at it. Toy Home is a Toy-Story feeling racer, it's got motion-controlled steering. VERY Japanese-kiddy, my girlfriend likes it so we scooped it up. I was unhappy to learn that there's not a straight "race battle" mode in there, but for what it is, it's not bad for $10. Pixeljunk racers sounded cool, but felt uckkk awful (this is a game.. really?)

Otherwise, I played with Motorstorm a little bit. After working on a similar-styled game some years back, I can appreciate the fun in such a game. It's not drawing me back too terribly, but as it's the only on-disc PS3 title I have got currently, I want to spend a few minutes with it. It DOES LOOK nice, I will say, and the prospect of eventually running a big rig through the bud sounds fun. I was a fan of the early ATV PS2 games back in the day (long on looks, but they sufficed - and the handling was so perfectly satisfying!) Honestly if they made a proper, arcadey-follow up to those games, I'd sign right up. I investigated MTX vs ATV on 360 (recent demo) and though it had some relation (also, it looked pretty nice), that spot-on feeling was just ripped away. You've lost that lovin' feelin'.

I guess that nearly wraps up my original PS3 impressions. The interface is not too bad, just keep ripping off Live and it'll be better I say. The system runs relatively quiet as HELL, which I love. I have yet to investigate Blu-ray (don't really care, and as I have a CRT, does it matter so much?) Someday perhaps I will upgrade to HDTV but that's a ways off, and not something that's a priority for me. I have yet to try the backwards compatibility, but I would happily remove my PS2 from my game shelf in order to clear up some clutter/danger. I will check that out later (in my mind I will still say PS2 is the most comprehensive system to beat, out there.. for the time being). So in essence - PS3 - nice to have, future games will be interesting, glad I got it as a gift. Would not buy, for now or for a lonnng time.

Over in Other-video-game-system land, I have been neglecting my recently-re-acquired 360 what with the new gadgets to play with. I intend to get through Bioshock however, and I would like to pick up Orange Box (I wanna play Portal). And just generally mess around with demos as I see fit. As for games I would actually buy, skate seems fun (I will wait till it goes down in price!) and maybe Amped 3 if I can find it cheap. As mentioned earlier, I DL'd the Frontlines demo (THQ/Kaos) and did manage to play through it. It is getting some scratchy reception on the message boards, I must say it's a nice experience though. Looks and plays well - I hope it does well for them! I can see why people complain, they want it to be exactly like the other games they love - which it isn't. There's a lot of love in there, I hope they fleshed it out properly. We'll see soon enough. Otherwise, Rock Band dominates - still! You can't touch this game, man. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but these guys really rule the world. It's the perfect mesh of man, music, and game, party game at that. I hope to see them take it further and make it more fun - hell! I wanna play this game at bars with strangers, I know it would just be a blast! Even my non-gamer girlfriend is getting into it. Who would have thunk - someone out there can make games with the priority of just causing people to feel good, and have a good time. I have half a mind to pick it up myself, but geez - I think I have spent enough $$$ this season.

In Wii-ville, it's business as usual. Pretty much all that gets played around here is Wii Play and Wii Sports - and they are still fun! We've had it set up nearly a month, mind you - and not all the game hold up - but tennis, bowling -- great for unwinding. I got into boxing as well. It's just fun with a bunch of people, again "great for nongamers" of course. The ultimate test will be in a couple of days, to see if my parents can actually get into it (I got them one for the holidays, I may have mentioned it in here - they haven't played any games since, oh, pacman and centipede...haha). I got some games for my girlfriend for the holidays as well, Wario Ware Smooth Moves and Cooking Mama Cookoff (you would not believe how difficult it was to find a game called Cooking Mama!) We only checked out the former so far, but I must say it's done as well as I could have hoped - those guys are nuts! Intelligent Systems has to be one of the better devs out there, for real - I love wacky, weird, abstract stuff that makes you scratch your head and say "wha?" If the game doesn't fall short then I will say it's worth the money. Check back with that in a few days - anyway it's nice to see someone take the Wiimote at face value and make stupid simple little minigames out of it. I hope the multiplayer translates properly, it could be another rocking party game.

Whew! So there's what has got to be one of my longer entries, in a while - I had a lot of lost time to make up for, so slobby pseudo-journalism is what will result. I haven't really even touched on politics this time, or end-of-year wrap-up stuff.. maybe later.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

all is new that is old again also

and so we come to that time of the year when time becomes meaningless and te days melt together in cold confusion. back is forward, up is down, booze is guzzled, and money is wasted. Go! Go forward proud consumers! Waste your weight in gains, waste it on tinsel, waste it on horrible fat cartoon santa with no mouth giftwrapping, soend it on car bars, spend it on leather cell phone pouches while old forgotten war widows die in the streets.

McDonald's gift cards always sounded like the worst present anyone could give anyone else, EVER, but they sound strangely tempting now. Big Macs till you die, then (and they will see to it that you will). All is forgiven, right?

Monday, December 17, 2007

party on, wayne!

So, last Thursday evening was the Pandemic Holiday party at the Natural History Museum in LA. Like so many other hangers-on in the gaming industry, I crashed it once again (actually I legitamitely got my name on the guest list this time, which was not too hard to do as they'd opened the party up to the industry at large.. to a point, anyway). Exhausted from an already wild night the preceding Tuesday, I wentured out into the chill of the evening and dragged myself out to enjoy some free drinks and catch up with my ol' pals. I have to say, the night started off kind of rough but a few drinks in (and a few hours to dilute the crowd, some) and my mood lightened considerably - it was a fun time! Not quite the "blast" their last party (that I'd attended anyway, in 2005) was - still it was very satisfying and I was sad it wrapped up so quickly. Here's some random bald guy dancing while I am merrily stomping away in the background:

(too bad I didn't get more appropriate pictures - what'd'ya want)

Our own Xmas party looms this Wednesday night, I suspect it will not be quite so ridiculous.. but that's fine (I have partied a bit lately, I can take a breather).

This brings me to today's topic, camraderie in the games industry. I suspect I have written about it before here, if not certainly elsewhere - yes, though there is (of course) much competition between companies in the game industry, and I guess between job applicants, it's generally a very friendly place. Especially on my end (artists and designers), we typically seem to get along quite well with one another, and respect one another's positions. Sure, there's times when you might wanna wring a particular co-worker's neck (we're only human, right?) but generally I get the sense that in many studios there's a strong notion of team and togetherness, overall - we are working together on this production, and the majority of us strive to put our best efforts (and sometimes, our latest nights) to task in order to make one another proud - to keep up our ends and match the work of those toiling alongside us.

Likewise, when we pick up a competing studio's game, we look at it as something deserving of respect (when that is the case) - as opposed to just "we must crush them, all comers, for all that they are worth.. we will hear the lamentations of their women," and so forth. Generally, game developers are honestly the biggest game-fan geeks you're likely to meet, I would say. And I would say this is the case even in the situation of a competing title in the same genre, usually. The bosses may not be so likely to second that, but as far as we grunts go --grunt--. At any rate we can pick up a title and appreciate it from a particular point of view, as far as what kind of work has gone into it, the little bells and whistles, etc.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Frontlines Demo is out

So yesterday Frontlines (demo) was released on Xbox live. Eager to see this as I nearly took a job working for these guys, last March (decided to stay in LA instead). It' s been downloading all evening to my machine (yup, I got my Xbox replaced - FINALLY!) but I guess I'll have to wait until tomorow to finally check it out, it's going s-l-o-w. Also in the queue is Burnout Paradise, which will be interesting to see..

Tonight will be the Pandemic company Xmas party in Los Angeles, this should be a night of madness to be (somewhat) remembered. I went two years ago to their house of blues party, which was rather crazy - this one should top it, easily! The Crystal Method will be performing, and I suspect the booze will be free once again - Supposedly they are anticipating over 2000 guests - I have an RSVP, but geez...

I received Donkey Kong:Jungle Beat in the mail the other day, cool game! This is the one you operate with bongos - man, my hands HURT after playing that thing! Cool idea though! I need ot get a memory card, and then I will play thru it some more. Wario Ware twisted also arrived, I put it in for a moment - weird as ever, but that's good. Also, I am sad, the TurboGrafx CD Player I bought seems irrepairably busted - what a waste! Time to scour eBay some more, then (probably better to wait after Xmas, though). I plugged the unit into my TV and at least got the HuCards to run, it looked GOOD to see that running on the big screen once again - properly - after all these years!

Monday, December 10, 2007

shudder horse fern fear

GGRR.. Angry. I just typed a decent sized entry (not THAT big) into the myspace blog. Suddenly it decided to refresh and wipe out all I wrote. bah. i hate my life. I was extolling the virtues of myspace in that it isn't as clunky to enter text like in this blogger setup, but then it goes and wipes out on me.. bah, bah, bah... (hmm, i sound like a sheep). So then, where was I ...

things are alright. Another weekend has lazily drifted by.. not much to report I guess. Worked super-late Friday night, which resulted in much of Saturday getting wiped out by catch-up sleeping (and much of today, sunday, as well..) Last night we went over to Skillz' for a little get together, catching up with some buddies and some old co-workers whom I have not seen in awhile.. which is always a good thing of course. We played some Rock band (oh, my poor throat!) and even got May to pick up the bass guitar for a couple of songs - amazing, eh?

Today was a lazy, lazy day - lay in bed, watched half of the Matrix on TV for the umpteenth time, the end of Predator (man, i miss Arnold action movies) - fell asleep for much of the night. I wrote a long email to a friend of mine back east about "how to get a job in the game industry," those always turn into long drawn-out affairs.

My mood is alright - kind of feeling ho-hum lately. It is just an in-between period in
my life, I guess.. not bad since i am still working, so I guess I can not really complain. I feel like I need to find something to motivate me and get some locomotion in a lot of ways though. It's harder as you just melt into your routine, get older. I guess it is probably that way for most people, you sort of get into your rut. I have written this same blog entry so many freakin' times that it's beyond ludicrous. As we get closer to the end of the year, I feel older (as usual)
and redundant, "been here.. done that." I look up and down the boulevards ad muse about my crazy experiences of the past.. the good times, the traumatic ones. It feels so far away now, so.. dead since it's been fresh, new, invigorating. I still love it here, but the dark/wretchedness of Hollywood still stares at you from every crevice, it reminds me of those crazy feelings I used to have, when my world was going up and down at the same time. It's got me tired of it! I love it but, same as I have said for awhile.. it makes me want to be somewhere else. maybe just be someone else. I wish I could flip a switch in the back of my head, and forget a bunch of the things that have made me, me. "never have any regrets" I have always said, and I stand by it. I don't regret any of it. I am proud, I look forward to getting further. I just wish something didn't feel weird and misplaced in that way, that it always does.. If it was suddenly gone, I would be more mistrustful of it's absence, I guess.

Well.. seeing my friends this weekend was good. i can never seem to get enough of that, i guess it is the warmest thing in my life, and I never know how to properly express it. I feel kind of cheesy writing in this blog at times "oh blah blah here's how i feel" but honestly, when I am not just going nuts in my own head, I do think about how cool the people I have crossed paths with are, how special they are to me. Same with my family of course, and obviously my relationship. That last one is a touchy subject in particular (how can i pour my feelings out in a stupid blog about such things, when not only can everyone in the world read it - which is irrelevant - but that person in question?) I have got in trouble for such things before, so I try to keep that stuff close to my chest of course. All I will say is that reading this I probably sound like kind of a whiny guy in general - but I do appreciate what I have. After all that has passed, as I get older I actually find it harder to be in a relationship in some ways than it had ever been before, in some ways that maybe I cannot quite put my finger on. My head is a weird place for that stuff
- I think there's a big part of my personality that is always gonna be a loner, now and forever..

Strange, it has been a year now since the conclusion of my cross-country trip..

wii did it

Yup, so last weekend was my girlfriend's birthday, she was asking me endlessly for Wii "I want wii, i want wii!!" -- of course, I broke down and succumbed, sigh. I got her the system with an extra controller (with wii play) and the extra nunchuk controller as well (as most know, it comes with a single remote and nunchuk - but this system is designed to be enjoyed by two, at least). I must admit i have not previously played wii at all, except for perhaps an evening about year ago at a friend's place. Not too terribly impressed with it at the time, but i could appreciate what it was good for either way. Anyway, we opened it up last night and played thru the two game collections - I have to say, it is definitely impressive! Long on looks, but satisfying enough for what they are trying to do, this is definitely a system that is friendly to non-gamers. My girlfriend has little to no interest in games, but she definitely has been getting addicted to the wii ones. She begrudgingly picked up golf and couldn't put it down, for a couple of hours! She and her friends were yelling and screaming as they were competing with one another - I guess it was a good idea, eh? I guess i will pick up a party game like Mario Party or Smooth Moves or something for her, next..

Weirder, I bought the same setup for my PARENTS for te holiday. My parents who've not played any kind of video games since the early 80s, they would play pac-man and centipede with me when I was a little kid. They have NO interest in videogames, whatsoever (well, my dad will try to pick up Pac-man now and again, my mother bought him a little TV Plug-in unit a year ago). So this will be the ultimate test to see if all the wii marketing is for real! Actually, I wouldn't have laid out the money if i thought it would be a waste of time, i do think they'd get a kick out of it (at least the bowling and stuff like that). I'll have to twist their arms to get started with it - we'll see how it goes.

Not much game news on my end, I guess. Another week of working hard, and waiting for my 360 to get replaced. The store I bought it from has a replacement policy, but at this rate I should probably send it to M$ and deal with them. Sigh.. pain in the ass!! At the end of the week, I may be the owner of a PS3, if not the week afterwards.. Otherwise, not playing much - just Gameboy B/W version of Tetris Attack, the puzzle mode. Thinking man's game.. "clear the level in 2 or 3 moves," sounds boring but it's well-put together and endlessly captivating. I have stared at it for a long time.. it makes me feel really stupid though. If I don't get on too late with writing this blog, I will likely refresh my Micro with some new games (at last!) It's been like 2 years since I have done that, and I still don't "need" to.. I stand by what I have said before, if all my other systems had to go, so long as I could hold onto my Micro then it would not be awful (I will be sad the day the special battery dies, though!!!)

Ebay-wise, I ordered Donkey Kong:Jungle beat for Gamecube (play it on the wii), it is a platformer that you control with bongos (!). I guess it was made by the same team that made Super Mario Galaxy (though, a couple of years earlier). It's got a lot of praise, and with the bongos it was pretty cheap - I look forward to firing up this particularly weird sounding game! I also ordered a copy of Wario Ware twsited for GBA (the one you have to twist the GBA around with - obviously). I enjoyed the very first Wario Ware GBA game, and this one is supposed to be the "best" one. Note that I borrowed the same from a friend, about a year ago - I had it for maybe six months, never even touched it even one time! But hey. I love weird, off-the-path games like that, and I was able to find it for about 10 bones.. why not.

I have Space Raiders and Mega Man:Network Transmission sitting in my cabinet, I was hoping to finally get some mileage out of them on the wii - no such luck, i need a non-wii-remote to play them apparently! I will have to dig one up, somewhere.. No hurry.

Recently I mentioned that I have acquired a TG-16, I brought it home but as it's lacking a proper controller, it sits waitin in abox. I found a direct-sales company that will let some new controllers go relatively cheap (cheaper than used versions on ebay!) so i will get one shortly. I have a CD unit with it as well, which I still have to check to see if it works !! I have been leeching old PCE ISOs off the net in anticipation, and found a guy who is selling a system upgrade card (to play Dracula X). Yeah, so nerdy, but it's cool - I always wanted one of these! I will be sort of surprised if it all loads, of course.

Work-wise, not much I can say (as usual). Lots of interesting times going on over at Obsidian, our Xmas party is a week away. Late this week will be the Pandemic party, which I'll likely show up at (along with abut a trillion other drunken marauding folks). Yeah, good to schmooze, esp. since no E3 this year, boo! I went to a Pandemic party 2 years ago, it was a wild mess - I expect this one will be along those lines, we will see. A bunch of late nights behind me from last week, hopefully the load will be a little easier in this coming one. Technical times too, might I add.

Alright! It is late. i wanna mess with GBA before passing out. Until next time..

Friday, December 07, 2007

shell out!!

another laaaaate night. when i should be sleepin'. but instead, i sit here.. wasting the night away, wasting my life away...

things are alright - i had a mellow-ish week at work, i mean it was one of those weeks that literally whipped by like a whirlwind.. no bother. it's a little unsettling, anticlimactic even. i feel like there's some weird pressure going on that i am either ignoring (yay! denial!) or manufacturing in my head - yeah, i do that. I will settle at saying "it is a little bit of both." Anyway i guess it's good that things feel kind of mellow lately, even though there's something off about it. in spite of my urges, i hope it kind of stays mellow for an extended period. i need to have some flat-land in my life for awhile.

last weekend was may's birthday, a bunch of folks were kind enough to come over after work on friday night and celebrate it with her. we had a bunch of food (her cousin brought a ton of shabu shabu, some other friends brought plenty of other stuff, and i fortified the icebox as well). it was nice, and we had fun! I got her a wii for her birthday - se had been incessantly nagging me for it "i want a wiiwiiwiiwiiwii!" ENOUGH ALREADY!! Bahhhwah. But she seems to dig it, she and her friends had a blast with it the following night. That's cool! I think they were onto something when they put that thing together, honestly...

I guess the rest of the weekend melted away. Sunday I worked - no partying this week, though i did catch a comedy show last night down near the west side. I used to be a regular for that stuff, it was weird to be back (but it was cool). I think the best part of the night, for me, was just hanging out in a different part of TOWN. I am spoiled, but i get so sick of being in the same place all the time - I find myself feeling tired/bored of where i live since i just haunt the nearby areas, if i am not at work. so it was nice to stroll into a random bar down that way, after the show last night - get a jolt that there's a whole city built up all around me and just past my boundaries..

I relaxed at home tonight, alone - i feel like i don't do that much anymore (in like.. years). It's either hanging out with my girlfriend, or partying - all the time (and I odn't exactly party very much anymore). I guess all the time i spend by myself is driving to work, taking a shower, or sittin' on the toilet. Sometimes it's nice to just chill out and turn your brain off (awake version) is all i am sayin'.

I have a lot to say, a lot on my mind - but i lose the words for it more and more, lately. i don't know how to describe it, and that frustrates me. i will chaulk that up as an internal problem! mostly it feels kind of useless to satisfy that urge to even "go off" anyway, and to be honest writing in a blog doesn't do much to alleviate things. Not that I want to abandon this, but I feel like I need a different outlet than the ones I have been pursuing. I always have more and more interest in the world around me, but it seems as time passes that there's less time/energy/motivation to investigate that which is not an arm's length away.

By jove - am I becoming boring?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

for crying out loud

yeah, well, isn't htis technically one of the Four Signs of the Apocalypse? Wait, I forgot.. the world actually ended sometime in the mid-eighties. I think when Knight Rider got signed for a fourth season or something. Most would say it was the seventies, but in all honesty I do believe it coasting on fumes for a good several years. Good for them!

No, but really, this is madness. Well, not really. This is just.. self-fulfillment of prophecies, really. The entire industry is slowly turning into a High School Statistics class equation, from here on out. Put all the big (and mid-) leaguers into an array and squish them through the sausage machine. If P then Q, if not P then not Q. If A and B buy C then D will merge with E while F gets extremely white-trash rich. And that, my friends, is why I work in the videogame industry, as well. Usually when I wanna write a reactionary post to something as bamboozling as this, I get all rambly and postulate-y. But at this point I am getting tired, as the fantastic becomes normal - I will wait and read about it on the forums along with everybody else.

Though I must admit, it does hit rather close to home in some ways. Consider this - I used to work at Swingin' Ape, when it was a tiny dev (@15 people?) which was down-the-road acquired by Blizzard and turned into Blizzard Console (Starcraft Ghost, version 2.0.. roughly). After my departure from SA (a brief tenure, mind-you) I got an art test from Tha Blizz while WOW was in production - they sent me a Tree to make ("oh whee, here's a tree"). I had just departed from OC, having sworn never to set foot on it's wretched soil again, and as I'd just settled on trying for work with either Treyarch or Left Field, the Blizzard tree was left out.. in the cold (you see what I did there?) A couple years down the road, I had left Left (working for Activision, Actually) and another year later I was makin' skatey games at Neversoft. Gun was wrapping up, and Tony Hawk 7 was in full swing - Neversoft's glory days as "Activision's Golden Dev" were pretty done, but they were still pretty popular as those things go. A couple of years at NS and then outta there too, and six months hence - guess what? I am working at Obsidian in OC, just a couple miles up the street from Nobody Beats the Blizz (clearly.) In fact my girlfriend, last year, lived on the same camps in which they were stationed (I heard they just moved this weekend). Point being, I work in OC, which is videogame-wise steeped in Blizzard's shadow. Everybody here plays that game. Dudes here have worked there, some have left this place for that one. Why haven't I tried to get back there? Oh. I have my reasons. More than ever, I resist the great conglomeration, but I know that my days, too, are numbered, the way things are going. Not necessarily working at the newly-crowned AB, but at some place which'll get snapped up again by some big-ass megacorporation. Anyway, best not to think about how much money my alternate-universe doppelganger is belly-flopping into, because it's no all about the money anyway (though stability and respect, those are other issues altogether). I guess many people are excited about these things, well.. so many are nervous and anxious about what it all means. Me, I get a chilly feeling "it is all too soon, it goes too fast.." I try to keep tabs on as much as I can, in my tiny speck-like state in this all - as ever, I wonder where I will end up and if when the time comes (if I've not fallen overboard) whether I will be happy or unhappy to get sucked up by whatever overbloated monolith. Yeah don't forget, I have had checks signed by Activision before. Hell even Vivendi, a couple of times.. right now, technically, it's Sega.. but it's always a different degree, what is all means.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


yeah so some dude at work put his Turbografx-16 console and collection up on the for sale spam-list. I shelled out $75 and got a console, CDrom, (broken-ended) joystick, and @40 games. FORTY GAMES! Only like 3 or 4 CDroms but hell, 40 game cards!! That's rad.. he threw in a sega 32X (with Star Wars) to even it out. But.. hell!! I always have wanted to get my hands on a genuine Turbografx-16.. I know, the emulation is pretty well covered at this stage (and of course they support a lot of the good games on the Wii Virtual Console) but there's always something about getting your hands on "the real deal" that's just a little more special. I have always admired the system, I borrowed one from a friend sooo many years ago (sigh.. like.. 20 years ago. You do not know how much it pains me to type things like that...) and would have bought one if the Sega Genesis didn't edge it out in the Race of Awesome Things, at the time. Hey, the Genesis was TRUE 16-Bit, what's a kid to do? I remember those days, the early 16-Bit wars.. the TG-16 (PC-Engine in Jamaica, errr, Japan) was actually 8-Bit with a custom 16-Bit processor. Sega's device was actual full-on 16-Bit hardware, with the promise of games "direct from the arcade to your living room," and they had the machines out at the arcade (and translations coming home) to prove it. Obviously Turbo was no slouch either, with some very nice-looking titles to pick up - though they were more colorful, they still lacked that certain je' ne' se quois that Sega had. It was a tough choice but one that I never regretted.

This stack is worth it for the $$$ alone. Blazing Lazers. R-Type. Star Soldier. Legendary Axe. Galaga '90. Ninja Spirit. Fantasy Zone. Klax. Splatterhouse. Sinistron. DUngeon Explorer. Neutopia. Victory Run. Bonk. Drgaon's Curse. Where the hell is Devil's Crush? Oh well, can't have them all. There's a bunch of other 2nd and third rate crap in there also... but hey. Close enough. Xmas came early! To top it off I scored a NES Bubble Bobble (though I will rather prefer to play Parasol Stars on the TG-16.. I am covered!) Man, old games rock. Now I need to find a dude who will sell me a Turbopad for under $25.. (and yet.. I would still prefer that my $X*@ 360 would just get freakin' fixed.. maybe next week!) I take it back, these games are still more fun!

I have a little list going of retro stuff I'd love to get my hands on.. a Turboduo (still, though not for what they ask for it.. bah!) A Colecovision would be rad, with a load of games.. I would never say no to a 2600 (though honestly, the whole setup would be quite an eyesore and surely end up in the back of my closet).. A Virtual Boy would still be cool (though i DO have a busted on in the back of my closet!) And I guess above all else, I'd like a Vectrex setup. Most coveted, however, would be a Mame Cab.. done right. One day I will shell out the necessary cash, but I can wait 'till I am able to afford such things. Mame's not going anywhere.. right?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

just don't do it, man

another freakin' sunday night. another freakin' journal entry. what it's been, uhhh... 3 years i have been writing in here. THREE, EXHAUSTING, YEARS. Yes, three years is nothing to a normal mortal, but to a subhuman like myself.. that is a different story, I guess you would say.

So here's the quick summation.. regardless of whether or not I've used the word properly, i don't care... work is busy. well.. it's weird. As usual lots to say about all of that, but like a good boy I will refrain, haha. Tuesday night I caught up with an old buddy who's recently moved back to town, we got out to my favorite club and met some other friends there. It was a really good night after all - I had been there a week earlier and had a draggy time, but this night was spot-on. There was a band of longhairs on the back stage wearing matching upside-down pentagram jumpsuits and jamming out metal mayhem with melodies lifted from old 8- and 16-bit videogames. Man I was in Ecstasy, I tell you.

We got out early from work Wednesday, I stuck around for a while and then headed to my girlfriend's place up the street and had pre-Thanksgiving dinner with her and her roommates, which was fun. GOOD food. Good times too. They actually got me to play Twister (it hurt!) and even some Blackjack.. well.. some rule-wretched variation of it, to some degree. Actually I must admit I've never really played most card games to any degree (pretty much just.. Crazy Eights!) Sadly. Yeah, so I am not a real man, what do you want. I also do not shave with a "real" razor either. But hey I can change a tire.. back off. Anyway cards was fun, I'd like to get more into it. I can see the appeal (I like to gamble, fortunately it exhausts me pretty quickly.. can be a rush though!) Next day was Turkey Day of course, some former coworker friends of mine invited us to their place in the Valley. A few folks showed up (we were pretty packed in!), they made a Turducken. Actually I think they must have shoved at least TWO chickens in there. Anyway all the food was extremely delicious, and I had a couple of beers to mellow out as well. All that's well and good, best of all is just relaxing with my buddies and enjoying the company more than anything else, to be honest. We watched some horrible movie then headed home quite late.. Next day, I am trying to remember.. oh yeah, no surprise, next day was a lot of sleeping. I made it to Mong and Skillz' place that night and as they'd just bought the new Rock Band game for Xbox, we hooked in and hammered on that thing for several hours. Lots of fun, though my voice was pretty destroyed from karaoke at the end of it (though I cannot wait to do it again!) Late in the wee hours my drinkin' buddy and I split the place and rocketed over to Hollywood to visit Spider Club, after hours so we snuck some booze in. Low points of my life, friends. I don't wanna get into details (it's not THAT bad, just sort of silly.. uh.. pathetic) Whatever, the club was not so fun. Crappy crowd. Crappy music. Unfriendly people.. but whatever, it felt good to be pulling myself out for a long long night of times gone by. It had to be done! Saturday was running errands, brought my girl all over town for shopping purposes (well hey.. shopping.. WHO CAN GET ENOUGH OF THAT??) and then May wanted to watch the gay cowboy movie (it's been a long time coming, haha) so I relented. I have to say that was a sad damned movie. Passed out for the night.. had weird dreams about Fred Flintstone on Wikipedia (?) then rose and headed into the office today. My tire blew out on the freeway into work, so I pulled off and stuck the spare on, then got assraped by Goodyear - at least it's one less thing I gotta worry about (for now!)

Also, to top it all off, my Xbox is still in limbo. What oh what has a guy gotta do? I guess I'll never get to watch Pootie Tang at this rate! LIFE SUCKS.. HARD!!!!

Anyway, so there's my life at the moment, drama and stress et. al. notwithstanding. I guess I am alright.. the usual mix of goodtimes and weird feelings and trying to keep my nerves from bubbling over. After the tire blew I was starting to feel a little migraine wanting to rear in. I feel like I have sooooo many stupid little things in my life which are practically held together by duct-tape. Nothing too terrible, and for many who read this it would sound like I was being beyond petty. Which is probably true, to say the least.. but that's my personality, and more than that, it sort of colors how I feel about my whole condition in general, in some ways. Yes my health is fine. Yeah I have a cool job and great friends/relationship/sense of humor (thought I would sneak that in) and etc. But over all of those things I feel like there's some precariously placed things in my life, like i am just waiting for something to ignite some crazy chain reaction and topple the whole thing. I am not worried about dealing with it, I know so much of it is just chaff and I can usually pull myself out of whatever red tape I manage to get snared up in - but it gets tiring to think about that process. Being the natural neurotic guy I am, I maybe focus a little too much on those nuts and bolts (and spend time writing blogs about them) as opposed to saying screw it and just letting shit fall where it will. That's my personality, and it's what makes me ME - I concentrate on all the stupid minutiae of the world, it fascinates me, I obsess over it, it rules my tiny mind and my thoughts. I wish I could slap myself and get over that bullshit sometimes, snap into the bigger picture and just take it a day at a time for real. In my way, I do. I am not a quivering pile of nerves, not really. But I can see it getting more commonplace in my life, the older I get. The little fires that don't get patted out, they grow slowly bigger. You can only cover so much ground at once and still just be "a simple person."

I don't think it's within the bounds of one such as I to decide "to be a different person," and I know I have consciously stated in the past that I would do exactly that. I sort of have, in some ways, but I think it was more of a cause-and-effect type of thing. And.. hell.. this whole getting older thing, it's really pushing the issue. I can't get over the fact that "yeah I am supposed to be a Man now," and still I live in this completely crazy surreal town surrounded by all these weird freaky creatures with their fucking complicated bizarre personalities, working in this ridiculously idiosyncratic obsessive-compulsive immature buttlovin' industry. It all really adds up if you think about it.. how could all of this NOT rub off on me? Where's MY nervous breakdown?

Ah well. I still have my outlets. My sense of order and logic, my responsibility sustains me (well enough to keep on keeping on). When next the canoe tips, where it will point me is anyone's guess, but at least i have the virtue of history to keep me from feeling like a naked skinned-knee freak in a miserable pile of despair if that happens (haha.. dramatic.. I am not so weak and without resource!)

At times.. like now.. I wish I could write so many other things in here, I feel like I have a huge wealth of things I have processed and pondered in my head, things I think about people, places, feelings.. events.. all the things and notions and episodes of life, that for some reason or other it would be kinda detrimental to mention in a (relatively) public place. I look at what I actually HAVE wrote above and feel like "oh man that's so neutered, so empty, the guts of what i am feeling, what i want to express, they are all being dutifully emitted.." It makes me feel at first like a liar, a coward, a two-face. Then I ramble about it down here saying "yeah I am a shiny asshole going on about nothing-bullshit for no reason in particular, but there is backbone to some of this stuff, trust me..." The only naked I can be is in just mentioning that much, and leaving it up to those who know me and have been through things with me to get a glimpse of the notion of what I go on about. And the rest of you, well, sorry folks, but like you I am a person, so just fill in your own wildest dreams and fantasies, your own pseudo-subconscious escapades for my own, perhaps some of the weirder things you can dredge up, or the more mundane which to my perspective might seem a little more wackified. It doesn't matter at the end of the day.. I like typing, I suppose.

party on!!

whew, yah, time to fill into my neglectef video-gameo-lame-o blog once again. man. i just don't have TIIIIIME to write in this thing anymore. which is a shame since there's lots and lots to say, especially lately.

anyway, first order of business:

My officemates picked this $170 monstrosity up early last week and I would hear them wailing it down the hall while i was trying to work (hence why I have come in to put in some weekend hours, since it's nice and calm and peacefully quite at the moment). But yeah we all knew this would be interesting, for sure. My buddy in Hollywood picked it up as well and we gave it the once-over on Friday night - this game is fun! Not much for Guitar Heroics, I screamed and shrieked into the microphone till my voice was getting hoarse. Our band "Slutty Balls" kicked all kinds of ass. I can't wait to play some more! Drums looks fun also, I tried for a moment but thrown in mid-game with no warm-up and I completely fell apart. I can think fo some design choices (Simon Says-inspired) which might make that a little easier to swallow. Rock Band - party game of the year!

We went to some Neversoft friends' place for Turkey Day and powered up with the Wii. I have to say I have not really touched/seen a Wii (hold those jokes please.. aww) for just about a year. We were messing around with Mario Galaxy, a good looking, likeable-seeming game. It struck me how simple, easy the graphics are. They come across as solid, but that stuff is like .. BABY solid. I could whip out some levels for a product like that in no time flat. They are pretty long on details. It works though. I will always speak in favor of style. Also played some Wario's Woods (NES Flavor) on the Virtual Console. Never played it before, though the game (SNES version) has sat on my shelf for at least a year and change. Weird game.. it's got much praise. I can't say I enjoy it yet, but I will give it some time to grow on me (it's got a notable pedigree).

My Xbox 360 is sitting boxed up in a pile beside me. This sucks!! I had the thing running for barely 3 weeks with nearly no play on it.. all demos, really. I have to say, the demos have been great, for the most part - completely worth the investment. I could just kick back and play Geometry Wars, Lumines, Pacman CE, etc. At least! Hell the Skate demo was terrific, even the new Tony Hawk demo (in spite of popular opinion) is well worth it, I would say. Now.. ASIDE from demos.. I took home the office copy of the much-lauded Bioshock, and checked that thing out for a couple of hours. 1st time since I have had a 360 that I have truly played a game from a disc that wasn't a demo or a.. Yaris (don't get me started. GOTYaris!). But yeah. I got a little ways in. I was looking for Telekenesis.. however you spell it. Then BLAM the thing just froze up.. what.. whatever. Reboot. Play again and five minutes in FREEZE-UP AGAIN!!! This is bullshit now. Okay, reboot. Uhm. Reboot? Please? Where is the picture? Is my switchbox f'd? I plug directly into the side of the TV. I am hearing the normal boot audio for the system.. but no video. NO SIGNAL. NO SIGNAL. You wasted your money, lame-ass. Screw you, TV, I say. I pakced up the system and brought to the office with me on Monday. Tried different cables. Nothing. So it's dead. I got a 1-year warranty through the reseller. I come in and wait in line "we ain't got any replacements, too bad it's almost XMastime! Come back tomorrow" Yeah so I come back tomorrow "Come back next week, we got nuthin' for ya" So I come back (well, call) "We got nuthin' till middle of NEXT WEEK." Screw you guys. No, really.. Actually, screw me. I should have known better. You get what you pay for, and M$ already has their reputation stable-360-wise. That was ridiculous. Anyway, hopefully I will have a new working one beofre the New Year. Hopefully they will let me transfer over my Live account without any more migraines. Yes, now I am just bitching endlessly, but why shouldn't I? They charge hundreds of dollars for this stuff, and then I gotta run all over the place for it to just do what it is supposed to anyway? Well. like I said.. not a huge surprise. Yeah, well, I look forward to someday seeing more of Bioshock, that much I will say. For now.

Monday, November 19, 2007

crack is the best when you smell like it

hello Demon World Of Deathly Bloggings. Welcome back to the insanitarium whenceforth my dark stupid mind wanders. Watch out or the flying clocks or burning geese will melt all over you.. make you fight.

It's sunday night (err monday morning, as of four minutes ago I suppose). Sitting and catching up a little with my neglected-of-late blogs. I use that term (or similar) quite a lot lately, as i don't seem to be so slavishly involved with writing in here anymore. Well - i get tired of it from time to time, and like anything, it's good to back off and get away from it for awhile. Let things refresh. Or something.

Things are alright. It's late in the year, as I always mention "time is going by too fast.." I can't believe thanksgiving 2007 is merely a few days away. Well that's cool and all, i guess. Growing up, Turkey Day always felt like my favorite holiday (well, nearly!) Yeah okay the one with the gifts was still better, but Thanksgiving was always great because it signaled the beginning of that time of the year, when I could look forward to getting new stuff - and also the time off from school, the kind of exciting energy of it being winter and all that involved (when you're a young stupid kid, the snow and cold is more exciting than annoying). Yeah, it was a cool time. The smells of what Mom was cooking in the kitchen filled the house. There was a weird, busy energy, but always happy. And now, of course, I'm all grown up, Thanksgiving is becoming more and more "just another holiday" and for guys like me, every holiday is really about a day or two off of work where I can hopefully sleep in a little late, and maybe get together with some friends to have some drinks or something, and some... nachos.. (yes, they are multi-holiday functional). I do miss the excitement of holidays from being a kid, to whatever capacity.. Anyway, I am happy to cruise on through to the end of this year, and I am sketchy about what it will all mean (this happens to me a lot, in recent years.. SEVERAL recent years!) As more time passes I don't like to think about it, more than necessary - it's just a fact of life, this unstable one I lead. I want to make smart decisions to hold onto what I have, but of course - not at the expense of possibilities. Yeah, so I am fickle "Oh I want this! I want that! No, opposite!" Damn.. The whirlwind of drama loves to have it's way with me. Anyway I don't really feel like going into what's up right now. Anyone who knows me generally hears things come out of my mouth and what implications those things might mean. So that being said, I guess, it is business as usual.

Picked up some tickets to fly back to Boston for New Year's. It will be strange, we'll actually be flying outta LA the day after Xmas (hey, listen, Jews don't celebrate Xmas alright? We get Chinese Buffet and then go to the Cineplex). I'll bum around town and see my friends and family for a few days and then head back to the West Coast on the first (gotta be back in the office January 2). Noteworthy that this time I will be bringing my beautiful girlfriend with me, she's never been to Boston before. neither has she met most of my friends from back East, nor my folks. Also she's not really been exposed to shitty freezing snowy weather too much either. So yeah, um, this will be an interesting trip I bet..!

I have been really busy at work. Really REALLY busy. Last week was the first week in some time that the load lifted, at least a bit (well... I didn't close the office at all or work last weekend). So it's been a little lighter on my conscience. Things have still been weighing heavily on my mind notwithstanding.. work's got some weirdness to deal with these days, socially some other things have been weird. I have been kinda depressed, and feeling generally stupid for feeling that way. Nothing I cannot handle, anyway. I spent some time with the lady this weekend, we went out to see the new Beowulf movie last night. She hadda drag me to it (I had no interest in it, really) but I ended up enjoying it for what it was. Did not realize that it was another fully CG movie (they did tons of mocap, so it's not necessarily "straight CG" if that makes sense). But yeah I was impressed, they are getting far more photorealistic by leaps and bounds. Nerdy to talk about, but relevant to consider (hey, it is my line of work, relatively). Someday in a "few years" games will be there too..

Also May cooked a nice tasty lo-carb dinner (did i just say "lo-carb?") for me last night, which was awesome.. BIG POINTS! Man, i live to get fed.

I have to mention,, i snagged this game "Bioshock"from work to mess around with this weekend, one of the highest-rated titles released this year. I played it last night for a couple of hours, then booted it up again tonight.. and.. MAN. Okay I got the Xbox 360 maybe 3 weeks ago, and granted - it's refurbished - but HELL, when I ran it tonight, it crased on me. twice. Just fing froze. After the 2nd crash, I could not get video to output. Thinking it was the connection, I plugged into a different video input. Nothing (audio coming through fine though). I skipped the switchbox altogether and plugged straight into the TV. Nothing. Nothing! Dammit, I just BOUGHT the thing! So glad i got a warranty with it. That thing is going back tomorrow. I joked it would die nearly immediately, but i didn't think it would be this terrible. What a travesty, how can they manufacture such a faulty error-ridden piece of garbage? It's one thing if the thing is cheap or "off-brand" but come on. Anyway enough has been said in the media about this stuff so I won't do any good to add fuel to the fire, but I do wanna say this - it is our fault as consumers to put up with this shoddy workmanship en masse. I mean - people buy expensive things (ahem, ipod) all the time which die after like a year or two of service. granted it's new tech but still it's a couple hundred dollars you've invested. Just WORK. Just WORK RIGHT. Just test the thing in the first place. Charge an extra 15 bucks. I don't care. F this. I look forward to getting a PS3, at least I expect that thing to hold up for a few years.

A lot of stuff on my mind lately.. as usual. My philosophy is a little tired these days. I am trying to batten down the hatches and not think too much. Just do my job and try to have good times with those I care about. I have been partying a bit (not too bad) but that's me, I dip in and out - it is in my nature. It feels largely useless in my life lately though. i can't really completely turn it off (don't want to, it's still a part of what I am) but the fun times of letting loose feel dead and buried. For the better, I guess i must say. makes me sad to say it, always.

I feel stranger as I get older, and somehow, upset by some tings I realize. I am stuck in this weird pattern, I will never feel like i have really bridged the gap between "man" and "child" in so many ways, like I always thought one would naturally feel. I know stuff, i have been places, I have experienced good and bad things.. but i still feel stunted, running in circles, trapped in a bizarre limbo of uninteresting non-progress. My childhood hobby has solidified as becoming the center-point of my career, in so doing it's robbed me of a hobby in some ways. Makes me feel like i am always forever indulging that childish urge, and surrounded completely by others who do the same and are more (foolishly?) wrapped up in it than i.. or maybe I am taking it too seriously (nah!) In the background I have accomplished things, i've a good salary but can never seem to get my shit together to be worth anything beyond some words on paper, and whatever my age and location would represent in general. I feel like I haven't gt much to show for what I have traversed, except maybe some increasing girth in the stomach area as a decent sign that my metabolism has finally coasted into cruise control.

I want to be hard on myself but I know I work hard, I try hard, I am not lazy, and I acknowledge my limits. So I am either too hard on myself or too narcissistic. Heh. just like everybody. Maybe I just don't wanna face the truth (just like everybody).

Last monday night by buddy MVG had a showing of a documentary that he produced/shot/narrated/wrote/edited/etc (you get the picture). I've mentioned it before, I saw a rough cut of his film maybe a half-year ago. Well it's finally wrapped up (as wrapped as it'll get) and he rented out a small local theater (yeah, in Hollywood) for a night to have a show. I have to say - I was impressed! Very impressed! It made my heart soar when I rolled up to the theater for the show, and saw a line wrapping around the building with BORN HYE on the marquee banner. It was pretty packed, I almost did not get a seat! Anyway, the show went off wonderfully. I mean - they shot it on a handcam, it's not like they had crazy expensive film and lighting and all of that - but the thing reeked of charm, it was fun to watch and superbly put-together. It's been in the oven for years, and it's very gratifying (even merely as his friend) to see the conclusion it's come to. Of course I don't know what is the result of a one-night screening, and likely there's much more work ahead. but hey - thing is DONE, they made a great film. I am very proud and eager to see what happens next.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007


yes, i know, i just wrote that it is july. it is FAR, FAR from July.. but for some reason, after I got my hand started 3/4 of the way thru typing it, i said ah hell, shucks, i will let it slip in, if only to properly illustrate the condition of my mental state.

late nights at work these days, as my life so often goes i tend to swing in and out of these things...i have about 20 minutes right now to sit and chill out while the lighting bakes, and so i thought i would grace my of-late-neglected blog with a little attention.. here you go. anyway, yeah, things are alright. i am working a lot. late nights last week, the week before that, and i was in this past sunday as well. it's groovy though, i will be handsomely paid when this project is finished, in fact I have started spending my future megabucks in advance. if you happen to know me and we are good friends, then send a note and maybe i will buy you a caddy, a supra or a new HDTV. It seriously depends on my whim, you see.

All kidding aside, money is probably the big thing sticking in my craw these days (do i have a craw? what does one look like?) but anybody can complain about that stuff so i will (largely) leave it up to everybody else. i will say this, however.. today the notion of taking an actual vacation to a far-off place (like, say, europe) for any brief period of time popped into my head. someone at work mentioned their recent trip to switzerland, and a light bulb went off "hey, i went to switzerland.. nearly EIGHT YEARS AGO!!!" Yeah so i have had a moment here or there of trips, since, but largely not. in fact, as my friend and i were recently bemoaning, the lion's share of my trips are back to the place I came from. So, yeah, it would be cool to go someplace different and exotic (once again) for a change. It sounds luxurious, but it really doesn't HAVE to be (it depends if you really must travel as a rich american tourist, you know). Me, I am fine roaming through the sketchy parts of some random run-down debris-laden city with hulking, frightening characters tracking my every move. okay, maybe not that extreme. but i do think it would be fun to chill out in a random pub in ireland or something. yeah, that sounds pretty fun.

there was a time when i would fantasize about flying around the country (or the world) in short stints to just party, sightsee, whatever. no, it's not my life, and it really likely won't be. the biggest issue (besides money) that I see is that I am past my prime for all of that! I am not old yet, not really, but I am old enough to know better. if i was 10 years younger than i guess things would be different. but then..


i have been working for ten years. in that whole time, unstable as my career may have been, my mantra has basically been "keep working. build up, all of it... resume, experience, contacts, money (if at all possible)" And so yeah I have been doing that steadily, dodging bullets as best I could, but now I look back as i slowly approach my mid-thirties and realize "yeah, it's good to work hard, have a career, have these goals.. but is my goal just to keep doing THAT?" I know I have gone on, at length, on this sort of topic in recent entries in here. Because as I get older I realize that - honestly - I do have a good life, there's a lot to be appreciative of. But it's just not satisfying me. It's not the life I want. I remember when I was young and idyllic (and well, naive, clueless). I had this powerful drive though, and though I was still kinda skittish I guess, I would always find ways to throw myself into (ultimately) more interesting situations. Maybe not the best choices all the time, but certainly a few big ones which have led me to having a rather interesting (in a good way) life. But now a few years of those results have rolled over, and I am feeling like it's just a recycle of the same old routine. Same pressures, same complaints. Good times of course but the world is rich and full of variety, and I really feel painted into a corner these days. These years!

I don't write in here just to whine, I do it because I like to look back at "what I was thinking about, back then." I want to look back at this entry some day and feel like it was leading me down some path back to finding what it was I would want from my life.

yeah, i am just in a bitter mood, it's crunch time at work and my list of things to fix seems never to get any shorter no matter how much i pond on it. is it any wonder i am craving a vacation!! if it was up to me i would be partying at cinespace in 1 hr...