if i am not the geniusest poet yet, i don't know who is. BAH! WORSHIP MY GENIUS! Bow before my criminal neglect... open the flue into the chimneys of your collective discontent, my poor sorry children, and eat the nectar of my flowerbed of Obsessive Compulsive Whackitude. Or was that whack-a-mole. Screw you, buddy, screw youuuuu.
Okay, well it is now about nearly 3:30 in the morning. Time is sort of an irrelevancy around here, I am in the phase where I will work until exhaustion, then go upstairs (or just collapse on the couch) and turn off for a brief coupla hours, before snapping back in and reloading to the workstation. I gotta say, I have been a heavily prolific mofo the past couple days, weeks, maybe the past month and a half really. I completed an art test for the NYC job, here's some renders of how this thing came out.
I did some different things with lighting for the first time, which is nice to be able to have. It used to be a very dirty and painful thing to set up realistic lighting inhe 3D packages (though the effects would be worth it for those willing to put in the time and effort). but take it from a nerd, you hadda be a SUPERnerd to really manage that stuff properly. Imagine those huge soundboards you see in pictures of recording studios, you know with like the hundreds of tiny knobs on them, to control gazillions of settings. Ok not QUITE that bad but they definitely have to be neighbors. Your grama couldn't do it anyway (mine could!). Point being is now it's a lot easier for "joe Schmoe" texture artist such as mysef to get that sweet sweet realistic looking lighting going, as opposed to the flat useless "simple grade with shitty grainy aliased edges" that is part of your usual garden variety playstation game, or the "plastic toy was made in Taiwan" look that's usually been the only other option.
So there.
Anyway I sent my stuff off to NYC. Tha's been doing a number onmy head, but as it's out of my hands now, i feel some relief in that I don't have to deal with it anymore (for the time being). In fact i rather hope they take their time. Meanwhile I have set up another interview in Orange County for next Tuesday - phone interview, projct could be cool and might even be worth the hassle of commuting. The NYC job still wins hands-down for "most likely to be rotten fun and also make Ron rich," and usually that's enough reasons for me to ask for a dotted line to sign on. But of course, there's reasons not to pack my bags just yet.
Also I am working on a follow-up art test for a well-know santa monica developer, I churned it out a month ao (in the middle of cranking on freelance) and was rejected at that point. I had the guy's email and buttered him up a tad to ask for "one more chance?" He appreciated the note and gave me the green light, so I am once again grindng away.. and so goes my weekend...
It's weird, I have been in absolute workaholic mode for a little while now, and it's not been.. well it's not been bad, it's been very god for me to keep as busy as I have been, and working purely under my own steam with some kind of future hanging in the balance, "it's all up to me.." This is very very different than working on a straight project, a personal one or as part of some production staff, as I am basically doing the one-an operation across the board by my lonesome. Lonesome yes, but empowering and ego-gratifying in a way as well. I would think many people would be miserable with their situation at this point "cabin fever! get me outta my house!" But it is nice on those occasions when I feel like I am in charge of my space.. a one-man wrecing crew.
It must be noted that my social life has become completely dissolved as of late. I have made the rare appearance here or there, and it's definitely frustrating enough to make me "miss being active within the social context of the human race.." I will say that in hindsight, I DO miss it, and as such my general happiness level is not the same. Hey, I LIKE to go out! Dance around, have some drinks, be a person! most guys of my caliber would probably prefer the opposite but sitting on my ass this much makes me cagey in any event. Also it is weird to break out of the "work-party-work-party" pattern, but it is reassuring to know that altough I can drink my share of Madman Formula, i don't seem to be suffering from the typical levels of Alcoholism. When I am getting good i can go out and wreck it a couple of times a week, at least - but in tese as of lacking time and money that's not an option, and ye while I sure miss the fun of it, the release, the wild abandon. the chaos.. (I COULD go on).. i am definitely not suffering some kind of shitty withdrawal, a beer will always be appealing but I am not by any means jonesing "I NEEEED MY MEDICINE!" That's a relief anyway, sometimes I know I can be pretty demonstrative, in some ways, of the darker side of those sort of things, well at least due the consistent blackouts (both in my braincells and wallet contents).but hey, we all have our things.
Almost 4am. I am resisting the urge to hop inmy car and drive somewhere and just buy a cheeseburger or somethin.. I have the urge to consume lots of junk lately. I will burn through a 2Liter of Coke in like, a day or two. I think I am hurting for caffiene and sugar.
btw, the renders above.. I worked on that stuff for shy of a week I guess, but it didn't start looking actually "nice" until te very last day.. it seriously went from 65 percent to 89 percent... now that I am getting clued on by the "ease of new lighting tools" I am getting a fire lit under my ass to make some nice new work for my portfolio, actually. shoot some pics, build some city blocks.. that would be fun and pay off, i do believe. We'll see what next week brings, I suppose.
So, that's where my brain's at. Okay brain, stop documenting and get back to the work, WHIP CRACK NOISE--
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