sideswiped

damn i feel like i haven't written in this thing in ages. fact is, i am tired of blogging. i am tired of thinking of all the stuff going on in my life right now.. i have a lot on my mind and i am just tired of it! i am still pretty excited about it all, but it's been this back-and-forth for so long now. i just want to have my goddamn cake (err, P I E) and eat it too.

last week was pretty eventful. 2 job interviews, 2 job offers. i said to both of them "not yet, not till i get done with interview number three" which is tomorrow (tuesday) in new york. that job is still the one which has been at the center of my attention - for good and difficult reasons. anyway without reiterating it all for the nine-hundred-and-fifty-seventh time, same shit, different day. at least things are happening. i did start work on another art test for another job (local) today, but then... ahhh.. petered out of gas. it's for a job that is close by, pretty stable by the looks of things, but NOT what I wanna be doing so much.

what else to say then! not much else to report. i feel as though there's just not much else to say. i caught up with a bunch of friends last night, something which i don't feel like i generally do very often -- and it's always good to do that, of course. i did also go out and be a little more social a couple of times last week, hitting the club scene. it's alright, but the clubs are just NOT stimulating my nerves at all like they used to. i think i have definitely blown a fuse in all of that - i really do need a new drug. i just gotta hang up on drinking jagermeister for real, or at least cut my dosage into by 2/3. the stuff is fine, and gets the job done, but that shit blacks me out. it saves me money like you wouldn't believe, and it never ever makes me sick or crazy, but it really fucking blacks me out and that's like... what's the point of it, at all? might as well just go to sleep early.

i think another thing about that is just - going out and doing the same thing. after all this time, the scene is just not electrifying to me at all. it's fun, and it's interesting or whatever but you can only go to the same exact places and listen to the same tunes so many times. the same scenery. it just runs together after a couple years. i need a change if i wanna keep doing that.. but also, i am 32, not 22. does it really hold so much of a fascination for me like it used to? i'd like to think so, i mean i still have the energy. i need to find a fresh angle though. this is why people use expensive drugs i guess.. hahaha...

we watched jackass last night. whew, you know, i have never watched that stuff very much before, i've been aware of it and i can appreciate why it is so popular but DAMN - i could feel my IQ dropping by several points just sitting through that shit. i have never been into "shocking humor" though, i am more of an abstract guy I suppose. i just don't like watching people barf and piss on each other and eat one another's shit. call me old-fashioned. it's okay, i have my moments when i will start howling at the top of my lungs in a crowded place about how everyone has a big pink asshole with hairs awkwardly protruding out, or something like that. We all have our flavor I suppose.

I locked my girlfriend out of the apartment by accident saturday night, (yeah... "by accident!" HAW HAW) and to make it up to her, I drove her to the outlet mall in Ontario (about an hour and change of driving). Ahhh, the mall, the mall. You know, when I was a kid, the mall was COOL, I liked going there. Sort of. Well, really, we were mall rats somewhat, it is true. Slumming at Friendly's, drinking fribbles. I had my pulse onthe 16-bit videogame scene and regularly haunted the local Electronics Bougeek and of course the old standards, Toys R Us and Kay-Bee toys. that shit was white hot back in the day! Got te new EGM yet? Got the new Shinobi game? Whip Rush? Atari Lynx? What's up with Ninja Gaiden II? Man those were the days. i was such an ubernerd (yeah, "WAS") I spent so much time hounding the employees of those poor places "where oh WHERE is Simon's Quest???? I MUST KNOW!") Alright, so the point is we go to the mall now and it's a completely different scene. And yeah the mall in Everytown USA is generally a cleaner and more sanitized experienced ("devoid of character"). Ugly design. Bland Gross food court. A little too packed with blue collars and red necks. The fun is gone... recordtown is gone... The last vestiges of any kind of mom n pop stores are GONE BABY GONE. We used to have a few of 'em in Shopper's World, yeah I loved that place too. I know, this is just Old Man Alpert talking now. This is what happens..

I'll miss it even more when I get 20 years older, I'll actually miss THESE days "I remember a time when people had to actually GO places to buy things, at all!" Yeah so the world is changing a bit too rapidly these days. Keep paying attention or you'll miss the next revolution in the blink of an eye.

Damn. I don't wanna call it a night. it's 4am and i am happy sitting here in my old-man bathrobe listening to DJ shadow and typing away and my eyes are bleary. I have nothing to do tomorrow except the usual juggling act, get some food, go to the post office to mail some stuff off.. pack my crap up... sigh and tread into the future. Best part is I am gonna fly jetBlue, to new york and back... argggh, hopefully they won't trap us all on the goddamned plane. Yikes! Enough out of me then..