cocaine in my brain

yepppp, it's now march 2007. as usual "how did that happen.." Okay how long has it been since i have worked? Oct, Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb. That's awhile (but still shorter than my record of 1 year!!!) Well okay I don't rightly recall when last I wrote in this thing, i believe it's been about a week or so (checking.... yep, there it is). Yeah so - dammit, a lot has happened in a week's time. I went to New York City (arrived Tuesday afternoon, returned Thursday evening). After arriving I cabbed to my friend's Noah and Nikita's apartment in Williamsburg (Brooklyn, i believe) - the newlyweds - and hung out with them and their one-year-old, as they fed me delicious cheeseburgers and booze. Oh man, it felt GOOD to be in NYC. It just felt right, I knew I was going to like the feeling there. Yeah it was a little cold (not unbearable, by a longshot), there was a little crusty snow on the ground here and there, but the city looked great and i WANTED it, dammit! It was cool to see my friends, they're very warm people and just really easy to talk to. I could hang out with them all night... haha, I did. Next day was the interview with the studio, mind you I had a phone interview and did an art test for them.. i'd basically been in talks with them over a month and a half's time, or so, all told. Anyway i spent all day with them (got in at 11am, left around 3:30pm). The whole 9 yards, met the staff, got the tour, see all the departments, check out levels of their game, stuff like that. It looked good - the game is a bit rough around the edges, but for what it is it looks pretty slick. The people working there had a general enthusiasm about them, it was very nice, very excited and friendly people all around. Not my type of game, but hey i am a retrogamer.. still I could hack it, of course. It didn't "BLOW ME AWAY" as I was hoping it would, but the staff was cool as I said, and of course NYC (the studio is right in manhattan) is a real strong selling point for me. I headed back the following evening, feeling excited about the thought of a new life - I woke up the next day back home in my own bed, feeling in my gut "i want to go to NYC!"

Well, some things have happened since, a couple important things. I have had two offers, one in Burbank (up the road from me) which seems pretty cool - and one that's about an hour commute away, which has a decent-enough project (it's no tonyhawk, but still it'd be fun to work on) and this place is gonna do an "Aliens" game as well - I would LOVE to get on that project! Not what I am being hired for, but.. Anyway, Friday I talked to this guy and he gave me a very very generous offer - and it really surprised me, it changed things a lot. Suddenly this place seemed like it might be the smart move for me more than Burbank or NYC, and also I discovered something else, by chance - a former coworker of mine (same type of job, level artist) was at this studio as well. So yeah, you know I wanted to talk to him, especially as we'd both been burned by shitty politics at other studios in the past.

Well, I got on the phone with him today, and he basically pretty much "sold" me on the place. He said he was really happy and pretty much highly recommended it to me. That's a big thing - I know guys at the other two studios I've been considering, and they obviously want to bring me in over to their places as well, but now this 1st place had a whole lot less X-Factor going for it. I WANT to work at a place that will treat me right, rather than shit all over my self-esteem, I've had goddamn enough of that. It seems like this place might even be "a bit too chill" for my tastes, but hey.. if i am commuting, and doing freelance/personal work on the side as well, I don't think I have to worry about being understimulated. I do wish I could have "the best of all possible scenarios," of course, but this is looking plenty solid. So -- here's what it's gonna boil down to...

I emailed the other jobs (Burbank and NYC) and pretty much was straight with them, mentioning the stuff I just outlined above.I said "if you guys wanna match the offer I got, then that will change things.. but otherwise I think i am gonna have to go with these guys." GAH!! I got the ball rolling, and really - I will be surprised if B and C will step up to match A's raising of the ante. I will be HUGELY surprised if it goes to a "bidding war," haha, though that would be pretty hilarious (especially since about a month ago I was feeling like utter useless/pointless shit that no one wanted to touch with a ten foot pole). So yeah I will be surprised, but we'll see what will happen. All these 3 places do seem to really like my work, and my personality. We'll see soon.

It is sad, though.. especially with NYC so fresh on my mind. I really did have a great time, I knew I would love it there and I did - and I feel disappointed to just let it slip through my fingers so "easily." There's still a decent chance I could go for it (i still haven't got an offer, either way!) but I have a feeling after how this has all lined up, that it's not extremely likely. And it is too bad, because "for my life," though moving would be a HUGE pain in the ass, I know it would be extremely fulfilling to go work ad live there. I KNOW it would. But, damn it, I can not disagree with the fact that the Orange County job is just.. really.. too good an opportunity to pass up! It's not "thrilling" but it's got a lot of really good shit going for it.

Sigh. We will see.

I have a lot of other things to say, really, but I am tired of typing right now. I am tired of going over THIS shit that's for sure, but most of all - though I have a lot on my mind, otherwise, I just kind of want to relax on the couch and kick back in front of the TV!


but OH YEAH!!! I almost forgot!! And my Dad is going to love it when he reads this "what are you THINKING!!!" I can just hear it now.. but I might actually go out to London, England at the end of March with my girlfriend for a few days. Of course, that's dependent on a whole bunch of circumstances (like what job I end up taking, if they are cool with that, etc etc). She has been planning a trip over there for spring break and suddenly it was looking like she'd be going there alone, as her family couldn't work out their visa's in time. I would LOVE to visit London, obviously (never been there!) but of course I am jobless, broke, etc etc. Yeah I am in debt. But hell if I take the OC job I can wipe out my debt pretty quick, so a few extra bucks on the credit card ain't the end
of the world. Anyway, this is kind of a spur-of-the-moment thought, with little basis in reality, but as my life goes.. not exactly impossible. Like anything else in my life, it's entirely up in the air right now. We will see soon.