off?

Actually it's really November 8. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I wrote that up there. And if you can't see what I wrote then I am referring to "WED AUG 12" Hmm I wonder just what did happen on WED AUG 12.

.....

Well the closest I could get was THURS AUG 17 and I was talking about stupid people who drive trucks and how concrete was manufactured. That's spellbinding. Seriously though, it's been an exhausting day. Each day is a little weirder lately, in many many ways. I kind of don't even feel like writing about it for many reasons, but someday I will possibly look back at this entry, as I just looked back at that other (not very far away ago) entry and ponder, likewise. So, in that matter...

No job yet. Applied and talked to lots of people about lots of stuff the past few days. think I blew it for the cellphone gig. I think that's probably a good choice on my part, however. I got in touch with a guy at EA today, "the great evil endless devil," which could possibly suck me in and away. Ah well, there's lots of my old coworkers from several jobs past there, I suppose. It feels weird, like I am conceding some sort of great defeat by caving into that. It doesn't excite me, that is for sure. But it would probably be a pretty decent job. Blah. Apathy.

I got started thinking maybe go to sony (film FX). Well I thought of it before but I started moving on it. I have to make a demo reel (like, an actual DVD, not a DVD-ROM) for that then. That's a little outta my league. Thanks MVG for your help, you've made my time way way much easier with that... which reminds me that I must test it on my TV right here (after).

Offer today for a job Iam not too psyched for. I mean, it would be good in ways, and I didn't turn it down, exactly, but I requested some stuff which might blow it for me. C'est la vie. If it works then cool, if not then.. I'll not cry. Like I said, Apathy. Really.

I just feel like wandering the street, aimlessly (daytime would be better, I guess). I just want to get out of this chair and away from the desk and that couch and the window which is always near me. And my room which is very quiet. Why don't I play music very much? BTW I love how quiet it is here when I have no music on (in that it COULD be obnoxiously loud if i had shitty neighbors, or constant helicopters above). More things to keep in mind...

Heard some news about my old company that pissed me off. I don't care, it just pisses me off. It makes me feel like I am being messed around on or something. It just makes me feel useless.. I hate feeling that way. I got some calls from recruiters today (damn their oily slippery hides), at least they seem to try to boost my confidence a little (for a minute) - in their insincere, useless ways. I am an idiot though, why don't I get a job as a recruiter - that's where the money's at!

I saw a great job posting in Illinois. You know, not one bone in my body wants to go to Illigoddamnnois. But the job looks like it'd probably keep me relatively satisfied. Call me greedy, but it's still not enough...

I bought a ticket to fly home to Boston for Thanksgiving, it was pretty cheap (a little shy of $200) - that was a nice surprise, actually. I am gonna drive back here after the trip with my buddy chris, if all goes according to plan. Yep, Cross Country once again. I will get some photos of the Great Freezing America... THAT will be a weird time! I intend to have some memorable experiences, for my life. Hopefully nothing life-ending will happen (ominous words...) Just thought I'd put that out there.

Tony Hawk's Project 8 is supposed to be in the stores tomorrow. Well actuall it was supposed to be in the stores today (Tuesday the 7th) Well anyway, that's the game I worked on the past year (nearly) of my life. I have to go and rent a 360 and a copy of the game so I can get some video grabs of it. I suck at that game! Well I got further than Tyler did. Nyeah ha ha ha. I got a lot of video game playingthat I actually need to do right now (which sounds weird but not in the way that I am looking forward to it - am I a weird guy?)

It's hot in LA. Damn hot. It's like the middle of summer. The nights are chilly, but the days.. here in the city, I mean in the morning my bedroom feels like a freaking oven. It's ridiculous. What does that mean?

I had a pretty good talk with my girlfriend last night. I mean.. I think that's a hard thing to do and it's ALL HER FAULT (not really). Communication is a hard thing for me, believe it or not. I may not be the best person to be in a relationship with, I admit it. In fact, it's actually a really goddamned difficult thing sometimes, and I just do not know if I am cut out for it. She's a cool chick though, I gotta say. Like everybody else in the world, we have our problems, and more than that - I don't know what will happen to us in the long run (we'll probably at least go on a space shuttle together, I expect) but she definitely is a cool chick and I appreciate her for that. Cute girl too. I can hear my asshole friends making the whip-snap noise now, shut up you dicks!!!

yeah, relationships are freakin' hard, don't let anyone ever tell you different. I hate to sound cliche, but it's true, and more so for me because I have spent so much of my adult life in their thrall. And at times like this, when the house is kind of in disarray in other parts of my life (specifically, with thigs like --- work, money, philosophy, confidence) it's a weirder thing still for me. Rather than wanting to retreat to the arms of a loved one, I feel in a way like I want to use this as an excuse to just get the hell away from it all, just get away from everything in my head and everything in my space and everything in myspace, and just.. die.. Not like DIE die, but just kind of kill the branch of my life where i am at and go a different route. Oooooh that sounds so tempting right now. Just get rid of allll of my shit, except like my ipod and gameboy i guess, and just go live a different life in a different city with a completely different cast of characters (does this begin to sound familiar yet?) Just chuck all the half-working things,the good and the bad, and keep the only constants I have to keep (me, my feet, my man-boobs, my bank account balance) and start over and do it all again, wiser, in a colder town somewhere else with different Bars that all have the same names anyway, and Denny's' pointing in different directions than the ones that the Denny's' in this town point to.

Well, it's a nice fantasy. I would probably freak out in the next life too. Worse yet i'd probably settle down.

New York! Shanghai! Calgone, take me away!