mobile home gambit / eraser firecrackers

ok so last night i had some extremely bizarre dreams. very clear and lucid, i guess you would say - the were beyond weird though. i don't remember too much of the setup, but it involved my helping this exteremely overweight woman move (I am sure she was inspired by the camp director from the documentary "Jesus Camp" which I saw in the theater last week). She was moving somewhere far away and I and a couple of people were helping take care of alllll her crap, a lot of it had to be thrown out as well. As the dream wore on we were driving in a moving van, and I had passed out and uttered something about her being a "fat lesbian" - accidentally - which she heard and was very sad about (this is definitely inspired by a strange news post I read the other day, a Green Party mayorial candidate was called a fat lesbian by a radio show host, and he was fired for it). I apoloigized when I sensed how sad she was and told her that I didn't mean it and I loved her (!!!) She was sad but sympathetic. Anyway, we finally arrived at the location of her new house, it reminded me of a cross between a large gymnasium where one would practice Karate (like a dojo) and a warehouse - sort of. I looked outside and realized we were very far away from anyplace I knew, and I think the woman told me that we were on an island inhabited solely by overweight lesbians (i am not making this up). There were very strange construction looking vehicles outside, I realized they were the military. On of them (looked sort of like a forklift) was rushing towards our house and launched it skyward, eventually we landed in Iran. The woman didn't seem to care, she was still happy to have her new house and actually seemed appreciative that the military had done this for her. I looked outside and saw all sorts of bizarrely-colored factories dotting the landscape, it looked very alien.

The dream got weirder, I had a dog which insisted on trying to drink beer bottles (I guess we were celebrating the move). The dog used it's paws like hands, and we wrestled over some of the bottles. As the dog became drunker, his face started looking very strange and his barks and growls turned into angry, excited English speech (although with a heavy french accent). Also, the more he drank, parts of his ears began to fall off, leaving strange slimy residue (sterno, the gel-like fuel you cook fondue with)

After this happened, I was upset and a little disturbed, and very exhausted. I decided to take a rest, so i curled up on a mat in the dojo. I braced my legs, and then looked at them very surprised - my legs looked like the emaciated legs of an old, withered man! I felt very tired and ashamed, as I was much older and weaker than I had realized (I had always considered my legs to be in pretty good shape).