stop crying over spilled organelles

13 past twelve and yes i am at.. the office. On the weekend. for the umpteen billionth time. i have (still) been lighting, all day, with somewhat satisfactory results. The point is RESULTS, at least it is getting done (enough). See my last post about the wonderful world of lighting.

Really I guess I don't have much else to say right now. The lights are rendering and so I have a few minutes to twiddle my thumbs while i wait for the machine to not-crash, hopefully. It has been doing a lot of that, unfortunately - I sat here for a good hour and a half trying to render lights, and then it crashed (burning that time). Then I figured a much quicker solution, sorta by accident.. UPDATE it just finished rendering the lights, and then I hit the "save" button, and as I did that, it crashed (and ate my work). Wonderful.

I feel like 2008 has sort of slipped past me, unnoticed. This is truly a year where I've been kind of wrapped up in work, mostly, and let everything else kind of take a backseat, in many ways. I did get to have a good few standout moments of irregularity, to different degrees - hey life is never actually "boring" - but it's certainly not been the usual hecticness I was kind of keeping tempo with a couple of years ago. There's only so many hours in the day, and I am just one man.

I eat lunch with a few dudes at work pretty much daily. I suppose it would be wayyy cheaper to bring lunch in, but when I do that I tend to get even more withdrawn and disassociative from my fellow man, and all that entails - basically makes me feel kind of extra-crazy, the point is it is good to get out for a little chunk during the day and out of my work-cave and away from the wretched, wretched computer. Anyway we sit and eat nachos or burgers or pizza or burritos or buffalo wings whatever unhealthy thing we can get our hands on, once in awhile down it with a beer or two (or margarita or two, hmmm, could go for a bit of that right doggamn N-O-W) and we sit and whine about work and whine about women and whine about money and all that other crap that guys do, heh heh. Anyway, it's the good part of the day. So recently one of the guys was talking about all of the horrendous circumstances he'd found himself in, during his tenure living and schooling in and around Hollywood, a lot of the cliched craziness one would assume would happen on moving out here and being an artsy fellow in their early 20s, in this day and age - stories with a humorous bent to be sure, but also quite dark and sort of depressing, overall. Narrowly avoiding running in with colorful characters of ill-repute, to say the least, and finding ways down some dark, dark paths. I don't like to pepper my journal with too many specifics if it is not actually my story and I am not sure how cool other people would be with degrees of incriminating them - I have had issues with this before! - so I will leave it at that. Use your imagination. Dirty living, alright! Anyway, the kinds of stories that you love to hate, and I am no different. So I am listening to this dude spill his guts, and comparing it with my own past (as I'll do) and it really makes me appreciate the crowd I have surrounded myself with, at the end of the day. I guess we do take one another for granted at times - and hell, no one is perfect - and SURE (damned.. thing crashed AGAINNN).. ahem..SURE we do things to piss each other off now and again, to whatever consequences.. but yeah, I am constantly reminded of the fact that I have got a nice group of people around me, and that I am really lucky for that.