go die in hell, pigs!!

yum. they just brought some BBQ in for dinner. that was some tasty food right there. sadly when i am eating dinner at work, it means i am in for (ya guessed it) another late night.. i seldom seem to leave this place before midnight, these days. But all i really wanna do anyway is complain about working long hours, alright?

drunk journal entry - well i went out with my buddy last saturday night. I'd not been out in about a month, and i certainly hadn't seen him in a good bit longer than that. We hit a place that was new to me, which he liked - it wasn't bad, just small and uppity. i like the trashier, homier places myself - that's the kind of guy i am. they're friendlier. They have the type of people arond who actually might be interesting to talk to. i guess it goes to say you could find that similar type, easily, at the more classy places, but i guess i kind of have a permanent chip on my shoulder. i have got over it, but it'll always leave kind of a lasting imprint i suppose - so what, it is still fun to go to different places. You just kind of go with your vibe.... Anyway we drank a bit too much and I ended up with one of those bar bills that makes you cough quite sharply when you surprisedly pull it out of your wallet the next day, but as i said - I had not been out partying for quite a long time, so all told I suppose that will even out. Anyway I am not gonna lose sleep over it, besides I have been mega-grinding at the office lately (have I mentioned this?) so I guess I am allowed a little compensation, of sorts...

i am thinking how nice it would be to get out tonight, as well - it being thursday of course - and I am pretty much pushed to my threshold with thinking about business and life and all the usual stuff right now. Escapism is such a sweet, sweet fruit - however, not without it's consequences. Anyway, I might get a fire under my ass to pack it in and screw it and do it, but i very much doubt it. It would make me happy, but... I doubt it.

I don't know how many of my peers actually read this, and of those who I deal with in my day-to-day, but I wanna apologize if i have been excessively assholish lately. I mean, I am never really that much of a pain in the ass, when I am at my worst - I like to think - but I have been told by more than a few people that i can be a good bit of a drag at times. Though I will always say 'who cares what everyone thinks' well now is now different, but if I am kinda being a pill and you have to deal with it on something of a normal basis, then for whatever it is worth, i do apologize. I do mean to try to turn it down, I just need something to help alleviate - take the edge of. God, I would make such a good stoner, right? Oh well, too late.

The state of affairs in the political world have got me good and riled right about now. I am watching it from the sidelines, feeling a distinctive mixture of fascination and disgust. Seriously, I have such shame that people can be so blind and stupid - I guess it all makes sense, we are still pretty early on in our cultural history, coupled with the fact that there's always gonna be a gulf between the smart, rich minority and the expanses of idiots. As usual I will lay it down that "people are not genuinely stupid, they have so much potential" but the system does a wonderful job of keeping EVERYONE down, and it does so for it's own sustenance. That's the model, and for our society to continue to work this way it must be steadfastly adhered to. It's alright though I like to sit here at my desk and pretend I am a smart fella with valid opinions on all these things, at the end of the day I am still kicking my ass (quite heartily) only to make other people, who don't even SEE or KNOW me, slightly more rich while they sit back and shoot golf balls into little holes. If I could break my program, I sure would - I would run away - but the best I can do is try to erode it, while simultaneously becoming more set in my ways "as the cement continues to harden." Don't you just love equilibrium?

So yeah, these upcoming election debates and further process will certainly be interesting to watch. It's exploding with kind of a cartoony amount of drama. i have some stuff to say about it, but for now, i will be gettin' back to work...