how to get tougher

yeeesh well damn i think it's been getting on a long time since i have written in here.. just not much time for it lately, honestly. work is super busy and all of that (blah blah), besides I feel like I have not had too much to say. But it's good to drop in and make some notes now and again, so here we go, then...

Things are alright - basically life is not bad. Everything is really status quo, all considered. The usual stablilities and instabilities, sometimes I let them drive me nuts, sometimes I just let it flow past me. I guess work has been in somewhat of a crunch mode lately and that's really been the driving thing, but it's been sort of zoning in and out of that for some time now. I have been with this studio for 6+ months, it's a good place (and it has grown on me) and.. well as usual, I wonder how long it will last, for all the usual reasons. In the meantime, like anyone else of my caliber and character, I will continue to work hard and try my best. And of course we will see what it all leads to. Hmm, mysterious...

Social life has been pretty mellow overall, of late - poking my head out now and again, but really (for me) it's been on ice. I had a friend visit from out of town a couple of weekends ago, which was cool - my old roomate from college. Of course I had to give him the whizbang quick-ass mini Los Angeles tour, or cross-section of Ron's Life in a Nutshell.. so I dragged him out to some local dives, we stopped by the Getty Museum (I figured he would dig it), of course we had to hit the tragedy known as Venice Beach. He was in and out in a flash, and it was sad to see him go so suddenly but I appreciated the short time we got to hang out always nice to see some folks from "my old life!"

Crunching at work before and after that.. just after, a friend of mine had accepted a job in Austin so I took him and his wife out for a farewell dinner. Always sad to see people leave but at the same time, gotta admit I am a little envious (the notion of exploring a whole different environment at this point is tempting to say the least!) I dropped off some see dee's to a fried later that night ('round midnight) and his wife and her frieds convinced me to go partyin' with them. Yeah, i was tired. Yeah, I felt like ass. But damn. it was a Tuesday night and I'd not been to the Club in soo long. We went in (probably for about 45 min) and it was super-quick and pretty cheesy, but damn it i had fun.

Then lessee.. I guess last weekend the sox was on and so i met my buddy at the sports bar up the street. the game was lame and boring (well, it was cool because we were winning but dull cause there was no action or tension!) and eventually we found our way to some random-ass halloween party downtown, all old-style (as in, like when I used to find myself ending up in crazy places for no good goddamn reason, but who cares and it's a blast anyway). Got home late (6am I hit the hay!) and sunday we watced the red sox win the World Series.. again. Which, again, is cool but.. nah, not interesting/invigorating at all, unlike when it happened in 2004. Granted, it's hard to compare the two, but there's something about that team -- not that I am what you'd call a baseball aficionado - - but generally, every year they'd really work their asses off and get quite close. so close you could SMELL it (yes I said it, smell the asses..) but no matter what, you could always count on them pooping out rather spectacularly. Ad so it went, you could set your watch by it. but every year they'd keep trying, really really hard, and you'd think "maybe.. just maybe." And then it finally did cinch, after what was literally a lifetime to ANYBODY. And now, when they play, and win "oh so effortlessly," it just seems sort of.. I dunno, anticlimactic. Not even a relief, just kind of.. well, it doesn't really matter, it's just baseball (oh god, I hope my father isn't reading this, or I am out of the will!) I guess maybe I would be singing a different tune if the circumstances played out kind of differently. If they didn't completely slaughter the bejeezus out of their opponents, ruthlessly and uncharacteristically. Alright. Well I have written about sports enough, by now...

This week, then, no big deal. Working, working.. fixing up crap, trying to make things all purty. Work's taking a little of the wind out of my sails, I'd love to get into it but there's reasons I shouldn't. Sometimes I feel a little crazy and wonder how much of it is in my head.. then I reflect on my history and it makes me feel better (and worse). But hey, that is how it all goes. anyway it is mine and I signed up for this stuff, come what may.

Wanted to go out tuesday night (yeah, so it sounds like i am falling back into a pattern) especially after having fun the previous tuesday, but I didn't get outta the office until close to midnight (and then the 45 min drive home). that's just as well though. Last night was Halloween, my girlfriend actually had a little tiny get together at her pad in Orange County so I spent the night down at that place. It was alright... very tiny, though it was packed for what it was. I am not used to it, partying with a bunch of people (that i don't know) who are not really into drinking at all, heh heh.. it was surreal. But it was nice, nothing bad happened - those who know me halfway-well know that i have a pavlovian pre-conditioning to fear halloween, that is - crappy things typically hapen to me around this time of the year, and the last several years, it's been nearly without fail! I am not one of those superstitious "for real" people, of course, but you know how it is.. heh heh.

So here I am now, and it's the home stretch for 2007. At last! Thanksgiving will be upon us in a few short weeks, and then of course, Xmas and the end of the year. Good, well, let's wrap this one up already, shall we?