preservatives for the nacho-less

oh okay and one more thing

WHO THE HELL IS READING MY BLOGGGGGGG???? WHO DAMN IT??? WHO WHO WHO?

I updated the damned thing 15 f-ing minutes ago. that's all well and good. 7 people have read my blog since i updated it? on sunday evening? is this for real? in FIFTEEN MINUTES?

okay now i want some goddamned answers. is there some weird bug in the myspace blog viewer tally program? is there some spider bot that constantly keeps tabs on all of the pages all over the vastness of the entire internet, and whenever any page ANYWHERE has some kind of text update then it will ping it and send a "viewed" -- and in this case, this means there's like 10 of these?

or do i have an army of obsessive compulsive followers, keeping up-to-date on the day-to-day nothing that is my non-life? Is it really so riveting to read about how many sodas I drank yesterday, ro what the temperature in la habra was, or what neo-geo game I wish I had bought when i was 16, or that i was fantasizing about some ponytailed overweight white trash gas-station attendent in des moines who made eye contact with me for 4 awkward seconds? is all of this really the fuel for someone's livelihood? please, don't get me wrong, i appreciate your worship, but take my advice, if my blog page is so fascinating to you that you have examined my natural rhythms and developed a sixth sense about when I would irregularly update this thing DOWN TO THE HALF-HOUR, then pleeeaaase find some much more constructive and useful way to spend your mind and your hours than pecking about with my middling bullshit.

Either that, or i am some clueless, sexy genius living in my own time and completely unaware of it altogether. Awash in my own depleted self-esteem, i plod endlessly on through the lonely, empty days of my dark colorless imagined bleak reality while in fact throngs of hot 18-to-37-year old cybervixens hang on every word i type, in between WOWing and applying mascara and making love to themselves in the mirror, and fantasize about me quietly as i spank their pale chunky behindeds in their supercharged virile young nightmarish sexual fantasies.

Either that, or the government is keeping a keen on on me and waiting for an exploitative moment. George Orwell might be right.

BTW two more views since I typed this. Send naked pics to ralp99@hotmail.com