hello

Hello blog. You stupid, STUPID BLOG.

Man, I never write in this thing anymore. I guess there's a few good reasons for that - really busy all the time, not tremendously happy, and busy if I hadn't mentioned it before. Not to sound like a downer, I mean things will get better - 2009 is just quite draggy in general for a lot of people. Pardon me if I repeat myself.

I notice not many people look at this thing anymore (I used to get a fair amount of hits!) which is fine with me, I really only like to write in this thing for myself in order to track what's going on in my own life over time - it is therapeautic to put stuff in here, and helpful (somehow) to go back and read it later. I feel if I let too much time pass in between entries, then I am not doing a good job of following through with the reason I even keep this. Amazing how I am geting on 5 years of maintaining such a (semi-steady) journal, however.

Life is okay. It's a little hairy but I am hanging in. Awfully busy, as usual. This year, while not a "wonderful time," has taught me many lessons and forced me to deal with a lot of different roles. It's definitely been some trying times - and as I get older and wiser, I can only see more of that coming more frequently and heavier. I guess I always figured as one aged, they'd get more into their groove and overall things would just come more naturally, smoother. Maybe for some people, depending on their situation. I don't mean to make it sound like "ohhh my life is full of hardships!" but I've definitely missed some kind of cutoff where "the big plan would be all figured out." I guess I can take a fair amount of solace in the fact that many of my contemporaries seem to be going through the exact same shenanigans - so it isn't just me!

My friend Ben and I launched our first iPhone game this past week, at last - it was a lot of stress getting it out the door, and doing a 2-man project is definitely quite demanding. Interestingly, putting together the actual game wasn't much effort at all, after all these years that stuff comes easy. Writing a design and putting together assets, all while maintaining a low technical overhead, is really old hat to us at this point. The big issue was dealing with all the other stuff - all the marketing, promotion, social networking, just for our little project. That's never really been much of an issue in my life before, except of course when I am "selling myself" (as a brand, essentially) while looking for a job. In that way, I suppose it wasn't too much of a stretch. Anyway, it was very gratifying to figure that stuff out, and get some coverage in the videogame news world - it feels so weird and wonderful to type the game's name into a search engine and see it pop up at all these places where I'd not specifically fought tooth and nail to just sumbit it to, seeing the little drawings I did show up in thumbnailed images. Sure I have worked on games before and had stuff pop up all over the place, but that was always dealt with by someone else at that point after I handed my work off. This was a different kind of gratification.

Anyway our new game "iFist" has been out nearly a week now, like I said getting good reviews and all but - man - the iPhone market is not easy to crack, getting people to spend money on ANYTHING is such a tall order. It makes me a little queasy about our follow-up, but at the same time I feel more properly directed now. As of this moment (about 5 days) I am not sure if we've got 50 sales - I intend to break 1,000 sales of the follow-up game. I guess I had better get workin'.

So we are doing this Master Cleanse diet right now, me and May and a bunch of our friends. I am not sure if this is one of the stupider things I have done in my life, as it's essentially a 10-day liquid diet. No food, at all! Just this mixture of lemonade, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water. It is interesting. Ever morning when i wake up I need to down a tall glass of salt water to shit out whatever's sitting left-behind in my bowels, to "flush out the toxins" - whatever that means. To be honest, the reason this sounded appealing to me is because I have such terrible eating habits (lots of Burger King) and I do booze way too much (even if I am not paying for it!) This seemed like a good excuse to kind of shock myself out of the routine. We'll see how it goes. It's early into Day 3 right now and I feel alright - pretty normal, really - I do kind of "miss" eating, but as I've been out of work for many months I don't really eat things that I enjoy much, anyway. Also, I kind of eat out of boredom or frustration - I know, it sounds sorta pathetic. So we'll see what happens. It would be nice (hell it would be WONDERFUL) to lose my gut, but I have any illusions about this. I usthpe I don't mess my system up or something-

I have started working with a small start-up in the valley. It's interesting, and it has got potential, but of course I am rather sketched about it. These things are really difficult to call, as has been the case in the past "sometimes you want something so badly, that you kind of look past the parts of it that don't add up in hopes that it will just somehow 'work out okay.'" Well, I think lots of people fall into that trap at some point in their lives, and I guess it kind of goes hand-in-hand with the saying "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Sometimes you've just got to roll the dice and see what comes up. At this point, I've done it a few times in a row ad it's been coming up sort a flat - and now faced with the current situation, whereas in the past I would have been all guns-blazing excited, now I am just kind of weary and tired. It's a nice prospect and certainly I'd love to see it follow-through - as it seems like a short-term commitment (to see if it's legit or not) I guess I can hang out for awhile. 'Cause honestly, otherwise, I really just have to pack up all my shit (or sell it, really) and get out of town and start my life (gulp) over somewhere else in search of a fresh opportunity. This land is pretty barren!

Well, it is the weekend. I have to take a shower, then batten down and get cranking on iPhone game #2. I am very eager to make headway with it, and there's a nice easy blueprint to work from. It's pretty well-figured-out and only needs to be executed, the thing is that after the last game I need to really hit it the hell out of the park aesthetically. Off we go, then..