short olives, no thanks for the long ones? what?

bah, when's the last time i wrote anything in here? 1 week? 2? 3? I dunno. Actually i have a couple of entries that I put in recently only to rescind them pretty quickly. i think one was over-the-top whining and the other was just some crazy late-night gibberish ranting about the Meaning of Life or some such. Maybe i will replace them later, they are sitting unfinished in a text file...

Things are alright. it's 1am (well, hell - already nearly half-past!) and I gotta get up for work in the morning. But hey, i have had litle free time to sit around and do much this weekend besides "shit i'd had to do" so I am gonna indulge and type for a few minutes.. catch up on my semi-occasional recording, as it were..

So yeah the weekend was busy. Well here's a general rewind, to start with - life has just been busy, as it tends to if you're me. The past two weeks have been pretty work-intensive, while not a bad thing, just kind of tiring and not much for relaxing. But hey, I like to keep busy. Anyway some late nights ad yadda yadda, downplaying the social life for the most part. Pretty much... Anyway I hyave been keeping pretty straight in the meantime, no flying off the handle. Argh I am trying to recall last weekend, I guess I was had lunch with my friend Chris in the valley and then may and some friends and I went to Tokio for drinks and dancin'. This weekend - well Friday night we went to see the band Air at the Greek Theater (Griffith Park). I ducked outta work a little early 'cuz i hadda give someone a lift home, then jet over to the stadium - made it there no problem, though it was drizzly - fortunately as the band came on, the sky dried up. Though nearly as soon as we got in our car after the show concluded, it started to seriously downpour like nobody's business (that was very lucky that it "waited" for the show to finish - the Greek is an open-air stadium! Would have sucked!) The rain continued to come down much of Saturday, and I was out driving around in it - I had to track down a new fan for my PC's CPU, as the old one had pooped out. It took me a couple of days to deduce what had happened, cause my PC was acting erratically (at one point I thought I may have contracted the Blaster virus - AGAIN!) but fortunately it's just the motherboard nearly melting down. yippee. Anyway I spet hours going between PC Clubs ad Fry's'es, which really sucked, but in the end I found my fan and got the ol' girl back up and online. Whoo hoo.

Last night may and I randomly decided to take an extendo-walk into the city and grab some dinner at Geisha House, for a change - which was nice (no geishas though, booo). I had my first (non) sushi roll in years, which was a strange thing to taste (it was cooked meat as opposed to raw fish.. but still). We also tried some edamame (the little beans) which presented some problems. You squeeze them out of the little uh.. leaf chamber thing, i know i sound dumb as hell for saying that, and just eat them (there's two or three in each). I squeezed them out and they would start sort of flying out, in fact one hit the shoe of the girl sitting beside us.. whoops. Then I tried to just squeeze them into my mouth to avoid further projectile firing at the neighbors, but instead it launched clear to the back of my throat and blocked my windpipe, ouch! I choked it down (it's just a stupid soft bean anyway) but hell. man. those are some dangerous beans.

Last night went out to beauty to meet some old coworker buddies, tim and maynard - it was fun, i like seeing those guys. they are real friendly and we don't get to catch up much, so when we do it's a nice change of pace. beauty was alright, i am forever sick of it (and it's trashy uriney smokiness) but it's always familiar and kinda dumb-friendly. plus the bartenders are nice. and hell you can get in usually without havingto do a whole song and dace or wait in line, like some of the trendier assholier places in town. anyway i would be sad if it went away (they need to get some decent DJs back there though) Ah, it's a mainstay. It's strange to walk around there and see that star shoes is all gone though (remodeled into a new joint called "vice," i guess i will have to check it out at some point). Anyway i had fun, i drank too much but the bartender gave me tons of free booze so I can't really complain. Stumbled home and passed out after sunrise...

And today after finally rousing, I had to help ms may move to her new pad down in orange county. none of us was too thrilled to deal with it but what're you gonna do - anyway the actual move was pretty painless, we loaded up her bro's van with all of her stuff that's been sitting boxed since she last lived down by school. her friend mike helped with it all and that made things so much smoother, whew! Unloaded the van, we grabbed some grub and then trucked back to LA to call it a day. So yeah, it's been a long weekend of running around and dealing with maintainence stuff.. now i am just doing some laundry and then i will heap up to bed in a bit, i suppose.

so aside from "what has been going on," things are alright i guess. i am a moody guy lately... kind of a pill i guess, well - relatively. my temper feels sort though i am also kind of numbed. i seem to have lost the ability to chill the hell out and let life just kind of wash over me, and that's a little upsetting. i didn't know i had it in me to get so touchy - i think a lot of that is to do with the stuff that's been racketing around in the back of my head lately, just sick of the same old routine. sick of working, sick of LA, blah blah blah. i really am feeling tired of all the same usual everything, and i hate writing that. yeah.. i am BORED. The first thing that pops in my head when people say that, is other people saying "it's not that you are bored, it's that you are BORING!" Ad I don't wanna think that! I never want to think I am boring - i mean, i have always held fast to the thought that I was proud that "i NEVER get bored!" Which is kind of true, i mean - my head is never lacking of some jittery thoughts or other. Always all sort of stuff fling though my mind, it's never just idling too much (though I kind of appreciate it when i can get into that state...) But yeah I am feeling the crush of being trapped in the cycle. I wish I could break out and just shake it up, but i don't like thinking that way because it usually comes with some costly consequences. And whenever i whine about this stuff to folks i will always bookend it with "well, hell, the most important thing for me right now is to seek out that stability and cling to it for all i am worth." It's true! I hate the stability but it is vital to me. i just passed 6 months at Obsidian and I am making decent money (though it's still going to be awhile till i can begin to stockpile it, any!) It is not my dream situation but it's certainly a lot better for me than things have been for awhile. i can FEEL the urge in me now to.. "screw it up somehow" but i really don't want to keep repeating that chaotic pattern anymore. I just want to let some time pass and feel better about my path. So yeah, i guess... the side-effect of that is to feel bored for awhile, well, so be it. Hopefully i won't keep getting more irritable and assholey though. Ok, time to do the dishes, check the laundry, and start getting ready for sleep.