a billion bullshit arti$$$T$$$$$

another weekend has dripped by, another November has nearly withered away into a bunch of more-than-nothingness, and again i am up past my bedtime in preparatuon for another week ahead. it'll be a short week, as it's gonna be thxgiving on thursday and all of that.

things are all right, as recently noted I have been making something of an effort to fly under the radar, stay outta trouble, keep on the DL, all of that - basically try to avoid spending shit tons of money and not get too drunk. I dd get out a bit more than i'd've planned since last writing in here (blame several people's birthdays) and for those reasons i have a few nights that exist only in the very vaguest of memories... but ah well, life goes on, doesn't it... this weekend, i stayed in fri night and didn't do much. saturday i hung out with some buddies in pasadena, we ate then talked (a lot) then ate again then watched the new bond movie (review:meh). Today, being sunday, I cleaned up the apartment/washed dishes/played some video games, that was about it.

called my folks this afternoon, as we spoke i heard a helicopter just overhead - midday, what the hell, is there a bad accident on the 11, damnnn that is annoying!! Off the phone later, I gt online and right there on the front page of yahoo, there was the news - bizarre, of course - some dude was brandishing a pair of samurai swords (!!!!!) and supposedly attempted to attack a security guard at the Scientology Celebrity Center up the street from my apartment - the guard panicked and shot the would-be samurai dead right there. So bizarre. Anyway, that place isn't even a half-mile from my apartment..! Sucks, anyway it made me sad... Life feels short, fragile, and pointless in a way, in times like that. I guess we are all just ants though, and designed to be destroyed, often at one another's hands.

For some reason I decided to look on the UMass Amherst Art Dep' website, I don't really think i have a good reason why. All these names (the chair-people) cae kinda foodng back to m as I saw them listed there, though to be honest I can't say 99 percent of them really ever had any meaning for me. I just figured they were all a bunch of elder uppity artists getting paid too much to not do much of nothing. hey, that's business, maybe one day I will be able to settle into a mega-cushy job and complain endlessly about THAT too (yeah, me complain? Hard to imagine)

It dd inspire me, once again, to get more of an advanced presence on the internet, at least art-wise - it would be the ultimate gallery, more so than just my "texture mercenary" thing i mostly have goin' on now, anyway - though i suppose the more one gets into that end of things, the more masturbatory it all becomes really. Well, whatever fills up the times of one's life, I suppose. I guess no matter what, you're just ultimately trying to sell something else anyway, until you reach the point where they keep bringing you cash nonstop for just being there to receive it. Well, not bloody likely...

Cold out, it's been hot, then cold, then warm, then cool, no one else seems to know or care, i guess it's kinda irrelevant but it does seem a little offputting.. i don't mind if it is a bit cold for awhile, just stick to something.. damned season!

How do I feel.. well, bloated, restless, sleepy, kinda sezzzzually frustrated, lazy, bored with the stable things in my life, so pretty much - business as usual. looking forward to getting into the office tomorrow so i can finish up workin' on a dor.