the strangenesses of it all, right Don?

1792 - 08-26-08 - Charles T Weil - Sept 08 Rent - 1235
1793 - 08-26-08 - CHASE Card Services - 200
1794 - 08-26-08 - The Gas Company - 12.31
1795 - 08-26-08 - The Gas Company - 23.72
1796 - 08-26-08 - AT+T - 61.87
1797 - 08-26-08 - LA DWP - 105.96
1798 - 08-26-08 - Robert Moreno Insurance Services - 100
1799 - 08-26-08 - HSBC - 100

-----------------------------

--(The following are a couple of emails I found saved on a CDRom from 8 and a half years ago: Not sure who they were written to, but it probably does not matter. Dated January 2000)--


Life's going well. Still working at Sierra, as I mentioned, making video games for all the Nerds of the World. Fortunately, nerds seem to have some $ so our company is doing decent, and I remain employed here! So much for a 'trendy' job. Anyway, despite it all I am sick of this place, feel I have peaked long since last summer and am more than ready to move on. Other office in Boston, or out west, or ???? Time will tell, and hopefully soon. I've began scouting around on the net and through connections for different employment, one where I feel I can be more creative and um HAPPY, as this place has been gettin' on my nerves a bit lately. I reallly enjoy hanging out with the people I work with, a great bunch 'a folks, so it kinda stinks in that regard, but you gotta prioritize I guess. Anyway I am trying to work on my portfolio in my free time, which is very important to getting a better job - show off what I can do, creatively, etc. OK ENOUGH 'A THE BORING STUFF...

I've been living in Brookline for a bit over a year now, nice place and real convenient - hell I LOVE living in the city. Lots to do, plenty of places to hang out. You know how it is. My girlfriend's in Watertown, not too far away so it is convenient too (if you recall, we used to share an ap't in Waltham together briefly, until things kinda blew up.. needless to say they got fixed up a bit.) As for our future, well I love Sarah a lot, we've been dating just about 3 years - creepy! And it is still very fun. Marriage still sounds kind of scary to me right now though, especially since I'm still figuring things out career-wise, you know. One thing at a time.

Hummm what else... uh, guess that's the majority of it. Been drinking too much beer lately (drown my sorrows), who cares it's only my liver. Anyway I enjoy going out to the bars with my friends, a necessary evil I suppose. Just as logn as the dreaded Beer Gut doesn't show up... Or the dreaded Broke Wallet, which also loves to bite me in the ass (is that a pun or something??) time and again...

Parents are ok, getting stranger with age, we get along well but it is often hard to relate as you may know (sighhhhh). No problem, it's not hard to deal with and often sort of amusing, but not really in a good way. BUT WHAT CAN Y'DO...

Neal's still in school, journalism major, hanging out with his stoner friends and trying to get into a band or something - that kid is a guitar ace, born 20 years too late unfortunately. He'll be done in the Spring, flung into which direction I do not know.

Well I guess that'll do for now, Sarah just got back from a business trip so I am off to her place to make some dinner (fondue, yummmm.. yes it's just like the '70's all over again!!)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

how's things - haven't heard from you in ages! I hope your job/life are treating you well..

Things are okay over here. REAL busy. Always pretty busy, but lately EXCEPTIONALLY so... and I am real sick of this place. It's way past time to move on.. I am trying. hoping to get a web page up in a months' time with a bunch of stills on it, maybe a video clip or two. I see lots and lots of job postings on the web, and I'm really eager to bite. I hope that I get another shot!

Looking local, but my ideal situation is to get hooked up with a job in Europe. Not so much for the job itself, but for the experience - I've never been over there, and it would be great to just go somewhere completely different for a change. Even if it wasn't the best job for my career (so long as it was still relevant - and enjoyable - of course!) I would be game. Just want a change you know, before I wake up someday and notice that I'm married with kids and crap, "where did my life/youth go" sort of thing.

This place is stale. I hate to leave in a way, it's like breaking apart from your family sort of. A lot of good friends here. But, it's just getting me nowhere career-wise, and I've kind of plateaued - don't feel like I have much more to gain by staying here, $$-wise or technically. Not too interested in the products either. Bitch bitch bitch, whine bitch moan. Don't worry about me, though, I am optimistic - there looks like a lot out there. I hope my 2 year's experience and reasonably solid (cough cough - "unspectacular") portfolio are enough to get me a decent job somewhere else. Wish me luck!! And Happy New Year...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

--(This one's called "letter to Evan," written to my former roomate from College - he was in the peace corps in Kenya at the time, and we were super-out-of-touch. This was written a week before I decided to quit my job and move to Los Angeles, February 2000)--

Aaaggh. hello Evan. i just typed a really long and involved email messgae to you, and it crashed. Hope you're @#$*&@#'n happy. It was like 20 minutes long. Then poof, all gone. i wonder how many species died within that period of wasted time..
Anyway, my enthusiasm for lengthy communicationhas been shot, so I will keep this short (probably make you happier anyway!) Thinsg are okay, still fed up with work, looking to try to get out. Housemates have both been laid off last week, they worked at a similar company. They are heading out to LA probably, which is sort of my dream. I am trying to see if I can ride their coattalis and hook up with a job at one of the big studious doing some grunt work or SOMETHING.. for the resume.I don't know, it's so hard and such a pain in the ass to pick one's life up, seeing how Sarah and I have opposing views about moving htat seem to switch polarities every 3 months or so (funny huh?) anyway, given the chance, I'd go in a second, that's the state of mind I've been in for awhile now.. screw it all. I'm ready to go. We'll see what happens with the roomate thing. Anyway, working pretty damn hard (remniscient of those school days, quite a bit!!)
So Jon, Dave and I just turned 25 about a week ago. We got together and hung out at a bar. Also, I got superdrunk with some British Nannies (friends of some friends) and startign making a genuine ass out of my self, much to their amusement (go figure!), but it was all in good fun and the only one who's the worse for it is me, I suppose.. ha ha ha. Oh, British Nannies. Abuse my baby. (don't mention taht one to Sarah okay??? I know how much you guys talk, anyway..)
Scott MacGillivray's Bachelour Party is the next big thing coming up, I guess.. he lives in Florida now, we're flying him up here for some gambling (in CT) and Nudies (in RI) -- God bless America. that's in two weeks, then at the end of March I have to fly out to Ohio with Dante for the wedding (I'm the best man).. Everyone else from around here, pretty much, is skipping out on it (for obvious reasons!).. Oh well.
Sarah got me a ticket to go to France with ehr (she's on a business trip the week before my flight) -- my first trip to Europe, you BET I'm a bit apprehensive about it. Anyway, should be fun and weird. I don't know a lick of French though... yes, REAL interesting (gulp!) Ah, me head's pounding... long day of work, hate them Monday's. Just finished up the days' work, had a few minutes before I was off to meet Joe Rose and his friends for some Buffalo Wings in Waltham, so I thought I'd give you an email. Like usual, the idea to do so was brought on by a dream, you came back for a visit and had really longhair - styled like a member of the Jackson Five for their Reunion Tour in the mid-eighties, or soemthing (yeah, I know.. whatever Ron!) Quite a few REALLY WEIRD dreams lately...
Neal's graduating in the spring, it's getting to be so that there will be no more reasons to go back to Amherst and chill out no' mo'.. Oh well. Although if you EVER do manage to find your way back to this state/country (while I am here, anyways..), I promise to toss you into my car and drive you up there and force you to suffer some Dining Commons indignities with me, one last time. (you know you want to!!) Sniff sniff... hell YES I miss the good old days!!! Ah, well.
Okay Evan. I'm taking off. The evening beckons. As always, I wish you well and hope that you are managing okay. Although you never ANSWER me you bastard, if you tell me if you got the last package I sent you (a little comic called "Parasyte") I will gladly send you more. Also, do you prefer written mail or email? Please answer! ANSWER! YEEEE!!!!

okay, so long..

- Ron

upcoming shows

trans am - 31 Aug 08 Echoplex LA, CA
rival schools - Oct 9 2008 The Echo California
juno reactor - The El Rey Theatre, LOS ANGELES Sep 25 2008
toadies - 09/11 - Los Angeles, CA - Roxy

oh for the love of pies

life is a blur of work and driving to/from work these days.
deadlines are approaching fast. there's tons to do. my assis getting sore from sitting on it for too long. i listen to way too many old episodes of loveline back to back, i think it is disturbing my world-view. my posture is getting worse and my center of gravity is sinking. i need salvation - who will put up with me??

i miss non-fast-food...

you love blizzard right?

i don't. i want my tree test again.
short news for a moment, in my nerdierier blog - i downloaded Bionic Commando Rearmed, the graphic/gameplay update of the ol' Capcom game from the days of yore. I played with it for a few minutes, after drooling at the trailers back when they were released. game's gorgeous, and it "feels" right - and sounds very cool - but you know what, setting back into those boots made me wish I was just playing the old original version! Kinda the same feeling i got after playing Contra:Shattered Soldier back on PS2 some several years ago, "this is nice and all, but I don't NEED it" - especially not when it was so perfectly nailed back in it's original incarnation. Still, it is a budget release (10 bucks!) and for the money you pay for it, it is more than worth it. Obviously the thing's an overblown promo piece for the real-deal update coming out later, and I hope it does well. Sounds like it is, already! Capcom is making some crazy waves these days, i gotta hand it to 'em. The 1942 upgrade was also fun to play, that might be worth picking up as well - nice retro feeling, cool FX. Commando upgrade is by far my least favorite, it -does- feel like Mercs, kinda, but it also feels a little less loved than these other titles. I played the demo and had enough..

I downloaded braid, after hearing much hemming ad hawing over the thing on podcasts. Initially, as I wasn;t so much in the mood, "this feels kinda draggy..." and if I'd not heard so much word-of-mouth over it, I would've never even checked it out at all (come on, "braid?") The game is cool, and the few minutes I spent with the demo have got me thinking "this is actually a pretty cool little puzzle game," if my time lightens up soon I will possibly just get the whole thing. Nice job!

I know, I am supposed to be talking about game and watch.. maybe later. I am just sad for the forgotten/never-minded fathers of videogames...

i hate this industry!

yeah, i am referring to the latest Activision Blizzard news. Does anyone else feel a chill go down their spine when they hear that name? I am not disrespecting either company, or the new combined entity, mind you - obviously, very successful, hugely hugely popular companies with remarkable earnings between all of their properties. Yet it is unfortunate to hear of what happens post-merger, specifically with a lot of the relative second and third rate companies under their collective umbrella, their future plans, their staffing situations - none of this was unprecedented of course, though it seems kind of harsh how surgically and coldly it is being carried out. It's one thing to kick out the cobwebs when you're dealing with bottom-feeder appendages of a larger company, but when you are dealing with interesting properties (ghostbusters, tim schafer's brutal legend) and pretty well-established dev's (radical entertainment) it feels a little like a slap in the face. It's really true, you are only as good as your last hit. It makes me think with a chill about some things from my own past, and again a little more nervously about the potential of the future.

I have gone on about these things before, either in blog form or merely conversationally, at length - we all want to get "bought out," we want to be at the studio when they get picked up for real by a publisher. It's only win-win for everyone - well, it was, not so much anymore. Now it seems rather than getting that cash windfall, you might get squat - and more than that, your job is now under a much
pickier microscope, there's more suits concerned with "eliminating redundancies." Truly, to reap the benefits of selling out, YOU had better be doing the actual selling firsthand, if you wanna make out - and let your subordinates hope for the best as they scramble for the crumbs.

As usual, the model is all over the place, and it's hard to say who wins or loses in all of this, in the big picture - what lessons can be learned and "what is the battle plan" to survive as a grunt-level employee as the giant metamorphosis continues to take place in the bizarre and fascinating creature known as the game industry. Every day I hear more and more news which startles and tantalizes me, also which makes me wanna kick myself "ooops DAMN i have missed my chance!" There's always chance, infinite chance - but one must be able to balance their own business, whatever form it may be in, on top of an already-demanding day job, and whatever other social life and obligations there are as well.

Work is progressing on the project. I am putting in a lot of heavy hours these days, a lot of late nights, a lot of weekends. I am sad to say my productivity is a little draggy as I am feeling the burn - it's been a long project and I am feeling the wear and tear of next-generation asset production (it's still "next generation" until a few solid seasons of working to this specification have passed, alright!) Everything looks so much nicer and tighter than ever before, our engine is quite capable and powerful, but damn if only we had.. like.. 5 years!! Whew. I do look forward to wrappin gthis game up and giving my portfolio a much-needed overhaul, i will certainly have a higher grade of stuff to flaunt, for the first time in too long!

Not much gaming lately. I downloaded the Too Human demo, haven't touched it yet. Last night I downloaded a demo of a game called Braid as well, I plan to fire it up after i finish typing this - also picked up Outrun 2 for Xbox, and NO haven't touched that business either. Man - I just wish I had a solid day, errr entire weekend, left completely by myself with nothing to do, just sit back and drink some beers and play some games. That actually sounds rater nice.

Okay my girlfriend is making annoying noises to let me know she is hungry, so no Braid for me right now - but never fear, I will be back shortly to discuss a little thing they call Game & Watch.

shut up just put up

screw august and screw you. why must it be august? you know i have never really liked this month. and now, in my old age, where time doesnt matter so much anymore, i have no reason but nostalgia for my despising of the month of august. not so much a BAD month, really, but it signifies the coming of the end of summer, which (when i was young) was just a morbid thing really. going back to school, well, sucked.

except college. those were good times. i even had my own tree named after me. i can't wait to die and go to college, forever!

anyway, my girlfriend is perched on the couch practicing for the LSATS so i am gonna stop typing so as not to disturb her too much more. i guess i will play some video games, for reference anyway...

ignore yourselves!!

Greetings from the front lines!!! It is Sunday evening, just about 7pm, and I am watching the last vestiges of the weekend wither away and give into the harkenings of, yes, another week upon us. This weekend I spent much time here in the office - playing some catch-up still,due to my vacation (yeah, it's been a month now) and my tempo has been somewhat reduced which doesn't help things, but ohhhh, ohhh, what are you gonna do. Anyway I need to save off some files for my fellow level artist who shares this particular level with me,and I wouldn't wanna disappoint - further hindering things is the fact that I have to show up for jury duty tomorrow and fulfill a civic responsibility, oh golly gee, oh greatest day! Well, I don' look on such things as much more than a drag, really, as there's work to do and I don't much fancy propping up in a stifling courtroom full of hooligans downtown during the heat of the day - so hopefully I will be able to get in and out in a jif. Sigh, if the gods should be so merciful.

Working on the weekend is nonetheless a drag as well, as it should be the "me time," instead of "their my time" - but again, a necessary evil. I am getting quite burned out on the concept as I have been sacrificing for I-don't-know-how-many-years, as of yet, and that's not too good- but I have my eyes steadfast on the prize, and keen that someday, the payoff will be there. It's been 11 years nearly, and I am still scrapin' on by - things aren't bad, but life and all it's trimmings are certainly expensive, so a little compensation would be a nice thing. It's not too much to ask, is it? Well, no expectations ever, really, but I will see what pans out - someday, somewhere. It's up to me ultimately, I suppose.

I am sitting here at my desk, managing the meshes, cranking the fan, listening to whatever I can stomach on the winamp. I like to listen to repeats of Loveline while I work, surely I have mentioned this before. During the week I will pipe it through my headphones, but as the office is nearly empty on the late hours and weekends, I like to give my aural canals a little relief and just plug into the little tinny-ass speaker on my desk instead. This isn't bad, but I get a little redfaced when people start walking by as the speaker s going on about "I have trouble getting an orgasm while my boyfriend sloppily goes down on me!" So I will close the door or switch the channel. No joke, some poor schlub walked through the office with his goddamned extended family today as the speaker was booming "do some fishing, beat off, go dockside to watchthe sunset, have at myself vigorously, etc etc" I guess if you don't know the show than I sound like some sort of reprobate - well you can think of me as you like, faceless reader, that stuff helps me get through the hours alright? And there's many of them.


I hate closing the door in this room, it's quite poorly ventilated and already hot and uncomfortable in here, which is almost a nice change from my opposing usual set-up (wearing winter jacket no matter what time of the year it is, as game companies LoooOOoove to blast the AC all hours of the day and I feel like a popsicle!) The latest thing which makes me insane is the designer who works in the room next to mine, he likewise has taken to coming into the office during the less-populated hours to do - well, whatever it is in god's name he does in there (working? world of warcraft? far be it from me to satisfy that curiosity). The dude sits in there and (kindly) plugs in his headphones, for which I am grateful enough, but as his officemates are nowhere to be found in the weekend hours, the guy LOVES ot hum along to his music. He hums damned loud, I tell you. It's annoying - and I do seem to be developing my nice share of neuroloigical disorders at this point in the game, it makes my crotch tighten up and my brow get all furrowed. I wanna yell to the hapless guy SHUTTTT UPPPP DAMMMMN YOU but of course he is minding his own business, who am I to ruin the party...

anyway that's what runs through a guy's head over the weekend in the office. If you'll pardon me, I have some bits of work to wrap up so I can get myself 45 miles outta here and back to my sweet, sweet bed for some precious shuteye, at some point. Mercy!

secret detections

what's up, you foul-smelling hooligans. You yahooligans. ya-Tool-igans.
It is Tuesday night, and I sit at my desk in my office and fart and only add to the warm stuffiness of the room. It's a hoot I tell ya, a hoot anna half! I was hoping to go see a concert tonight but as I am a bit under the weather the past couple of days, decided to skip it and just take it sleazy. That sucks 'cause I hardly ever go to concerts anymore (well, for bands I actually intend to see) but I suppose I have seen my share.

Things are alright. Like I said, I feel a little yeccchy, nothing debilitating but still enough to want to crawl onto my couch and be left alone by the outside world and the weight of responsibilities and all of that, but hey - too bad! The show must go on. I am super-swamped with work right now, that's going alright but I must admit feeling a good deal of burned out right at the moment. Making stuff gets tiring. I will never give it up, but I could use some kind of a breather (a non-job-losing breather, I mean). I am not sure what my schedule has in store for me, what with wrapping up this project and segueing into the next - so I will just take it in stride, as I often do. Of course my salvation had always been retreating into the more insane and active parts of my personality, but these days I am trying to curtail that madness and just phase through this all. Get some time down, get some bills paid.

My mood is alright. I feel --- cramped lately. I feel like I am getting a little older, like things that would normally not bother me are more easily getting under my skin. I am not sure why this is, nerve damage maybe? Also I just feel like I have this noticeable split with "my inner dialogue" a lot more than I had in the past, it has been germinating the past couple of years - ebbs and flows - but sometimes it swings kind of wildly. I never want to second-guess my decisions, I still want to live for the moment - but I am doing things contrary to both of those. It feels like I am wasting time, or aiming in the wrong direction - fighting my instincts. This usually all comes down to my chaos urge battling my order urge, and I guess many people have those same conflicts. Damn logic.

Yeah, everything feels a little weirdo right now. Living here (and working here) has all had some marked effect on me, and I wonder what ten more years of this would mean. I wonder if it'll get that far... Anyway once in awhile I get these little flashes of this despair, just like being stuck. It all chunks up and I feel like I don't have any freedom for anything, I just have to keep going through the same motions, between everything i do - what I eat, conversations I have, places I go - it's all the same, redundant. Yeah, familiarity and patterns are all well and good, but I feel like such a limited simpleton in some ways that it makes me feel like (noted above) WASTING MY TIME...

I need something to kick my ass back into gear, something to inspire me and draw me out of the funk. It's all around me, it's looking all around, I need to find my eyes again.

apparently, this videogame will help me to lose weight

yeah, i finally found a wii fit in stock at Best Buy a few weeks ago. I picked one up since my girlfriend'd been hounding me about it for ages - I wanted to buy one for my folks as well, but I think I will do that on Amazon rather than ship the damned heavy thing myself. Anyway I picked her up from her return flight from China a week ago, she'd been awake nearly the whole flight - when we got to the apartment, she immediately set it up and began jumping around and playing with the thing (I was amazed, I thought she would be completely destroyed from the traveling!) Sure enough, she bonked out after that - it was a funny scene though. I have yet to try the thing, I did the "ball dropping game" for one moment. I wanna get in the habit of using it though, my girth could stand it. Urp.

So not much else to say about games right now. I am playing Mass Effect and Gears of War, but I haven't touched either in over a month (nor have I got very far with either). I just haven't time to cool out in front of the tube right now! More than that, I am just not feeling the need right now either. If anything, playing a bit on my GP32 during the trip - I got sucked up into Rolling Thunder 2 (Sega Genesis) during the flight over there. Good way to kill time, started sort of clumsy and dull (and such had my memory of it always been) but playing through it got enjoyable. I might pick it back up - I believe there's a third as well, eh? Also I played the old Mario Tennis GBC game for a little while. Well-fleshed-out, but man - sports as RPG is sort of hilarious in a uniquely boring way. Make it more risque. Something (it's a kiddie game, I know).

E3 just came and went. Yawn! I don't remember the last time I cared so little. I have barely scratched the surface of going over the show coverage, but really it sounds like there really wasn't much to get excited about across the board. Yeah, of course there was a lot of good looking things to show off, but nothing that smacked people across the face. I guess that's a side-effect of removing the grandeur from gaming's biggest party. E3 now is more like a sad fart. Tough times. At least they brought it back to the LACC. Whatever, I am getting too old for that outright madness when it's on full-tilt-assault mode anyway, or something. To make up (well, more like "coincidentally") I found my way to Vegas last weekend, once again. There's enough madness out there instead, anyway.

Game's going alright. I am working pretty hard, late late nights. Sigh, it's nearly 11PM and I am at the office and it is SATURDAY NIGHT!! I can't wait to get home and collapse on the couch - make that the bed, really. It's a full weekend of crunching for me, and a long week ahead to boot. I need a drink....

..too bad..

watch you on the universe!

Zee blog, zee blog - man. I don't feel much like typing, but times have been juicy, and so i must capture them.

Getting used to being back to normalcy, or mostly that- my girlfriend has been outta town, so I have been living the bachelor lifestyle (well, sitting in my quiet apartment). Actually I have been meaning to go out and party more, for the reason that I don't like to do that too much when she's around - she doesn't give me a tough time about it, but personally I don't like showing up at home at the end of the night in an altered state, and making her deal with it. Not that she even complains about it even, and not that I am some overbearing burdensome drunk or something, but I expect it must be quite a drag. I'll put it this way, when I am sober and others are drunk, it's pretty uncomfortable for ME. Anyway if she's outta town, it's a good excuse for me to get it out of my system then. Last week I didn't do anything all week, as I was still pretty beat down due to adjustment (jet lag and all). I did go out friday night, there was a skating event with free whiskey and then we went dancing after. The whiskey did it's job a bit well and I can't say I remember the dancing part..

Saturday was alright, I ran around town picking up stuff for an impromptu mini-BBQ at my place. We'd had a party last month for May's graduation and there was a ton of booze leftover in my fridge to kill, so I called up some buddies and shelled out for a little korean marinated meat and threw that stuff on the grill, and of course we played some videogames (boom blox is the current party favorite). The night went late, of course it was an extremely mellow party (which was fine!) - a sign that we're all getting older, I suppose.

Sunday wasn't much to speak of. My "first day of nothing to do," really. I ran some errands, ate a philly cheesesteak, picked up my apartment, did some laundry. Spent a lot of time yakking on the phone. Sounds kinda pointless to mention this in here, but it was really my "back to nothing to do" day and as such it was NICE. I didn't get some of the extra maintainence-y things done that I'd've liked....

So yesterday, Monday, it was the crazy day. A buddy of mine accepted a job out of town, so we were gonna have a little send-off for him in Little Tokyo (somewhere I've not really partied before). Exhausted, as it was Monday and I'd not really slept too well all weekend, and hey - it WAS Monday! But hell, you gotta do what you gotta. I jetted home after work and stopped by my favorite schwaerma place to get a sandwich before heading out. Waiting in line and I noticed a woman picking up her food in front of me. Wh..is that? Holy crap, that looks like my ex-girlfriend - who I have not seen, or spoken to, at ALL, in nearly 5 years! I didn't wanna be all weird and just gawk, so I kind of checked it out in the reflection of the window. Yeah, it had been awhile, but it's hard to forget someone you'd dated for a couple of years, lived with, etc. I picked up my food and headed out, looking through the window as I started up my car. It was definitely her, with (I assume) her husband and their kid. Now this was just very weird to me - it was like looking at "what might have been" had things played out differently, like it would be US sitting there with OUR kid. But really it just felt like I didn't belong there, I didn't feel some remorse about it or anything. The weird thing is that I had heard she moved to the east coast some time ago, maybe they were in town for a visit, who knows. This particular restaurant was a favorite of hers (and certainly a favorite of mine!), and was actually quite close to her old house..

As I am sitting watching through the window, I back my car up out of the spot. My parking spot was kind of dubious, unfortunately, and as I am backing up KERRRANG!!! I nearly ripped my poor sideview mirror off the driver's side door (the one I JUST FREAKIN' REPLACED). GAH! Here I am trying to be inconspicuous, I certainly don't wanna be drawing attention to myself now of all times, that sick shitty feeling in my stomach "oh man do I have to replace this expensive shit again?? I just want to LEAVE!" I pull forward and my car, still getting out of this dubious spot, kind of plunks down over the curb, making another loud (and very bad-sounding scraping sound) and I just sort of drag my way out of there "please don't be causing expensive damage!! Fucking car!" Man, it was making me feel all shook up, and at the same time it felt HILARIOUS. Like a scene from a stupid Jim Carrey movie or something. Anyway I scraped outta there without any further incident, got home at and showered and got duded up to go out.

The night was long. It was really weird too, following the already-bizarre setup. Little Tokyo has never been my favorite place, it's really tiny and not very interesting or colorful - just sort of beat up and (dare I say it) slightly pathetic-looking. I mean, if it was a different ethnicity it would be bad enough, but this is freaking TOKYO! It's SUPPOSED to be superkickass! Anyway there are some redeeming things there, some good joints to eat at, I think it just brushes a little close ot some of the gnarlier parts of downtown to ruin it's vibe. Anyway I caught an expensive cab over there (sigh, but what're ya gonna do?) and met up with my small gang of friends. Everybody was pretty loaded by the time I showed up (past 11 in the evening), I threw down a couple of whiskeys to try and catch up - why buck a trend, right? That shit goes down tasting like furniture polish at first, but gets smoother once you follow it a little..

We ended up at a little karaoke-type place up the street. It was pretty dead except for our crew.. I was having a good time, enjoying my buzz and talking with friends, it was alright. Sure enough, a Monday night in LA, and weird shit is bound to go down. I got coerced to go outside on the patio with the others, my friends were hanging out with some hot but extremely slutty looking girls who were evidently very trashed, and talking like it - I mean, cussing up a storm. I don't mind the cussing, but it's a little funny when it's hit-you-over-the-head, especially from the "demure princesses." THese chicks are talking with my buddies, and this real ancient looking Japanese guy, real small, I mean he looked like a caricature of what a little cartoony old asian guy would look like. I think he was bombed as well, arms drapped over my friends, talking in broken english and the guys and chicks were sort of making fun of him, all in good fun though - he was diggin' it. I think he was the dad of one of the owners or something, not sure. Anyway one of the sluts pulls out a pipe and starts loading it up with some green shit, are you kidding me? Man, I gotta give Little Tokyo more credit, this place is lawless. They start hitting that shit, it was kinda giving me the willies "are they gonna call the cops, can you do this? It's not the goddamned 1970s!" Meanwhile the maitre'D is inside watching us, looking very displeased, walking back and forth and crossing and uncrossing his arms, I don't blame the dude. I decided to remove myself from the scene of the crime and go back in to wrap up my drink, last call has come and gone. Back inside, I notice there's a bunch of real drunk-drunk Japanese chicks kinda cavorting with everybody, one of my friends was thinking they were whores - I dunno - it's hard to tell in those situations, I am innocent alright? (right?) Anyway the barkeep took care of us and served us a couple late-night drinks (that never happens) and then we wrapped up and headed out, bade the sluts and whores farewell for the night - yes, it was all very wholesome, I know.

The leftovers of our crew headed out to Denny's, for what turned out to be the weirdest experience I've had in a Denny's in my life, honestly. I won't get into it at the moment, you will have to ask me about that one in person! Finally ended up getting home and knocking out close to four a.m., forgot to turn my cellphone alarm from vibrate to buzz - somehow, miraculously, just the vibration noise woke me up from my precious few hours of slumber. Made it to work, belly a little funny but overall I was able to hang in and do m'business.

Yup, another crazy godforsaken night in the city..

broke toast

wow, hard to consider the fact that I have been back home nearly a week now from my trip. My head is still spinning from everything, my system is still adjusting to "getting back to the normal routine." It's actually been a kind of depressing thing to go through all of that hectic excitement and then plunk back into the same, normal life from before. I think i just want to do something different, is the problem..

I have been feeling kind of gross since the trip home, just kind of out of it - kind of like an old man or something. A few things I won't go into, I talked enough about it last time, but it's been staying with me a bit (though getting back to normal as they days pass, fortunately). I was hoping to get home and sort of launch into a period of just living wild a little, or something, but instead I feel like I must (still) bury myself with work and be a good boy. Sigh..

Yeah, I am pretty sick of working. I do (and always will) enjoy what I do, ad I am always thankful for my job and all, but damn I have been doing this getting on ten years now (not very long, admittedly) and I feel like I am always just sort of scraping by. I feel like I am specialized for something very particular, but instead I have to make do with this big compromise. I guess a lot of people feel that way - to make it big, you've really got to go out on a limb, and I sure do see plenty of opportunities for that. I am just getting older and tired of those prospects. I want to kick back and get repaid some dues. i don't actually expect that, honestly, but that's the feeling i have in my bones.

Whatever, I periodically whine about such things, this is no news. I guess when I have weird times of my life such as this, wen I break from my routine for a little, it makes it hard not to put it under a magnifying glass as I have just stepped out of it for a brief moment. I am an analytical guy, I think about the choices I have made and the path I have chosen to follow (for a long time now) and the things which have all led me here, and I have this feeling of unfulfillment that just eats at me. I drive to work feeling like "well what else am I gonna do?" I guess I should consider myself really lucky, my personality is such that I can always find that thing in my work to lose myself in, rather than dwell on this to the point where I become unproductive.

It's not helped either by the things I have read lately. All these little things add up - I am glad they do, because it reminds me that there's still this strong energy in me looking for a way to get expressed, even though it's kind of infuriating to not feel like it is getting aimed properly.

Something I realize which bothers me, is I have really come full circle with my life, my personality in a lot of ways. I feel like i have lost my crowd, my place, in my day-to-day life. I am not any longer "where I belong," or rather, I have forgotten how to make that happen. I have had some periods of my life where that was all figured out, and of course I took it for granted (as people do) but it generally filled me with some proper happiness, even if other things in my life weren't quite so well-lined-up. I feel like it's gone now, in so many respects in my life - it makes me feel cut off, distant, something. Since I was quite a loner growing up, it's kind of a natural place for me to be, and so I can handle it - but I do like to think that someday in the future I could realize how to realign my life that way. It's not something you can plan, exactly, it's something that you find, maybe you are naturally drawn to it - or maybe I am just naturally best at operating on my own, in this way, and that's why I have got here.

The future is odd, a lot of things are kind of up in the air right now. I feel like about a year and a half ago, it had occurred to me that the only way to jar it would be to pack up and start fresh, but that seemed like an extreme measure that I should "know better" than to thrust myself into. The thought of escape is always tempting, but then the notion of stability (though it was always so elusive) seems like the more mature thing to focus on in these times - I already know I will stick with it, but it makes me feel torn more often than I like.

I am glad for these times, these experiences - it is frustrating in that it shakes up my foundations, and can generally put some extra stress on my philosophies "why I do what I do, what's the point" (adding to the everyday stress I already manage) but te thing about being an adult, te important thing, is having your choices and the freedom to do what you will with them, with only yourself to answer to at the end of the day. I guess I feel like I am doing a pretty good job, then.

DATELINE:No more datelines. Back in Los Angeles.

Ok so .. now we wrap up the trip real nice and quick. Because it is very late and i actually haven't slept at all in way over 24 hours.

So let's see. Thursday, I believe, was the second day of our trip in Dong Xing. A bit mellower than the first, it was a hot-gross-hot day. We got up for breakfast of Dim Sum generously paid for by her friends, then we scooted around town with one of them - he owns a store and is one of the "successful guys" of their group. We saw his store being constructed, their town seems to be all about doing lots of retail business with folks from neighboring Vietnam, I believe. They drove us to the beginning of china's highway, which runs up and down the coast - it actually originates right in their town there, by the water, as marked by a one hundred year old plaque put their by the Dynasty in power at the time (Qing?) It was interesting, but so hot and so bright that we were eager to pile back into the car and find some shelter.

Later that day we visited May's old Grandfather, an super old guy who's hard of hearing AND seeing. It was sad, just a little old guy who sits up alone in his room all day! He is cared for by May's family though, which is good. He still has his wits about him, he was a very smart guy - used to be a Principle of a school, I believe. He could remember some English even after not having thought of it for God Knows how many years... His apartment was incredible, I didn't wanna feel rude and take pictures so I just had to try and snap it with my mind. It's not what one would cal luxurious or something like that, but it eked character in that way only very old people's homes can. Very real and very remniscient of a time long since passed. You look out his window and see all the buildings towering over the neighborhoods, the cranes and construction in the distance, and you get the sense that this guy remembers a very different view from a very different world, from the dame vantage point. He had a big picture of himself from.. geez, he must have been in his twenties, thirties, he looked very dapper, handsome young chinese go-getter...

For dinner we at with May's Brother's inlaws. They were very generous to invite us to their home for dinner - I was impressed by their apartment! It's very weird, the way these neighborhoods are setup. Everyone just lives in these up-and down apartments, I am sure there must be some specific name for it. You walk in, remove your shows in this tight corridor, there are a few motorscooters parked right there (indoors) to protect from theft. You walk upstairs... a lounge. Up another level - someone's bedroom. A couple more levels of bedrooms. At the top is the toilet, balcony, and kitchen, So like 6 or seven flights of this continuously tight ascension. It is definitely cool, but strange after what I am used to! Anyway everyone at dinner was very friendly, I was gracious that they were so hospitable, made me feel very comfortable. They keep saying "we wish we could come to US to visit you as well!! (it's very difficult to get a travel visa, for our country... esp from a place like China..)

May's friends wanted to go clubbing with us that night, after the cameraderie of the previous night - but I had an early flight to Shanghi, and we still had a 3 hr bus ride (was it three? Do i remember anymore?) back to the airport, so after dinner we hustled and caught the bus. On the bus, we had to stop at a border checkpoint (as the town we were leaving borders Vietnam, and they don't want any funny business going on). I got the once over from the MP, he made me dig out my passport as I was the only foreign-looking guy around.. fortunately, the hold-up wasn't very long before we were free to be on our way again, but it did kind of put me in my place a little "i am not the norm here, I am the outsider, and as such that means I represent the unknown and possibly trouble when it comes to Johnny Law..."

We arrived in Nanning, local town of the airport, which was hustling and busy and nuts.. but we were exhausted from a busy day, and had an early flight waiting, so just hit the hay in our tiny apartment for the night.

Next day was Friday the 4th - got up, said bye-bye to May, got on my flight to Shanghai, all by my lonesome. It was a couple of hours past noon when I landed, the plans for the day were a little soupy so I checked into my room (stayed at the Galaxy Inn once again, same place I stayed with May -and our tour group- in Shanghai days earlier). It was far from the airport I'd need to depart from the next day, but then I wanted to go out! I showered, and even though exhausted I tidied up and went out for my last night in Shanghai. Told the Taxi "take me to Nanjing!" (shopping area our tour passed by days earlier, seemed like a happening spot).

I was barely out of the cab when some dude comes up and starts talking to me "hello I am a teacher you like like a nice guy have very nice facial features can i practice english with you??" He seemed sort of annoying but it seemed like it might be a good way to start the trek ad maybe he could lead me to a nice little bar or something, and his overweight middle aged-man energy made me laugh, so I said sure, let's go. He led me to some lame coffee shop/bar with the promise of "stunning views" (he pointed to a sign in the elevator that was trumpeting this, and kept repeating it so may times that it became comical to me "stunning view, very stunning view...") Finally I had to level with him. "Look. Okay we are up several flights, and you can see back into the city quite a bit, so technically it IS a view. But it's NOT stunning. You would not show this view to some girl and get her to swoon, it's merely a NICE view. I mean, there's no city lights on yet. There's a bunch of scaffolding up the side of this nearby building, and a couple of disinterested-looking people sitting in front of that huge concert stage over there, by no means is this a STUNNING VIEW. It's an OKAY view."

He kept mentioning famous players from different popular American sports teams and asking about my hobbies and what sports I liked. I tried to get some data out of him but he just looked fat and sweaty and tired as the conversation wore on, being dodgy. I decided to be a nice foreigner when he started pushing it "can i have one dollar of american money for souvenier? shall we drink a glass of wine to celebrate our new friendship?" I finished my beer and we left, he started in "you want me to take you to get some girls?" It's alright pops I do fine by myself thanks!! STUNNING VIEW.

I walked down back to the plaza and them some local girls started chatting me up. We drank tea and they convinced me to eat hotpot with them - it was fun, they were very friendly and just happy to talk to a white guy I guess (I bought them some tea, so they insisted on buying me dinner). they flagged down a cab for me after (the chick actually RUNS ACROSS THE STREET --IN TRAFFIC-- TO GET ME A CAB!) and they wish me farewell as it swallows me up.

I pointed on my taxi card to the driver that I wanted to go to Xi Tan District, or whatever it was called, I dunno, where the nightblub was I'd visited a few nights earlier - it was friday night and I knew it'd be PACKED. I unloaded from the cab, and didn't recognize where I was but figured I'd scout it it a bit, maybe it would turn up (or something would). As soon as I stepped out, some stripper-club-madame freakin' started to let me have it. "You like girls? You like disco? Come! Come with me! Nice disco this way! Nice Girls! We have girls for you! Dance and strip for you!" No, no, I am okay. She keeps on. And on. I just kept walking forward towards I Don't Know Where to half-humor the pushy madame and half hope she'll get the clue and lemme alone. I had a nice little buzz going and I wasn't feeling confrontational. She followed me all the way to the elevator (I found my club!) and then as the doors closed I was free of her.

The club was-a-happening and the girlies was hot. I was happy to be back, the night was young (just past ten), the place was booming, I loved their style, the music was't bad, and i didn't have to wait ages for a beer! I downed a couple whiskey shots to wet my whistle and started for the dance floor. I snapped a few pics of the setup with my camera, I admired it the other night but left too quick to snap any shots - I wanted to do it justice tonight! I got a few really good ones, I am not kidding this place was all Tron for real. My buzz was good, I was no longer having to deal with the Schoolteacher Guy or the Strip Club Madame, I was having fun, then one of the bouncer apes puts his mitts on me, gives me a look like "we don't like you taking pictures in here, wait for one second please.." I didn't know what to expect next - I have been kicked out of clubs by Monkeys before (more than a few times), it's kind of an international vibe. I wasn't doing anything, everybody had cameras, anyway I took the chance and disappeared into the crowd. Then I sought some solace at Our Friend Mister Toilet for a couple of minutes in hopes that they'd forget about it. Well, this place was dark, and really packed, but I was also one of like 5 white people in the whole joint, so I knew comeuppance couldn't be too far behind. A good bit of time had passed, but by now my mode had switched from "good time guy" to "radar detector" so I decided to quite while I was ahead - besides, I needed to be up in a few hours for my flight. Anyway it had ups and downs but it was still a very cool night.

Okay! I am wrapping up now. I swear. So now here's where things get a weird. So.. I woke up today, which was Saturday, July 5 - but, just in China, not for several hours in the West yet. I got up and got my stuff ready, showered, called my girl to say byebye, checked out, hurridly ran out into the HOT THICK SHITTY SHITTY HEAT to the bus parked just outside for my ride back to the (farther away) airport, sat down, okay relax, we got an hour and a half ride in this thing now. Except.. shit, why does my ass hurt? Why does it hurt to sit? Oh what the fuck is it NOW?

I fidgeted uncomfortably on the bus, shifting my weight continuously back and forth for that next 1.5 hours. I looked out the window into the hot hazy day as Shanghai spread open before me, as we rifled thru traffic and then down the freeway. I had been getting eyefuls of Shanghai before, but today was the first time I could freely and truly see it for what it really was, a giant endless HULK of a thing, just spreading and towering and growing out in every direction, out and up, I mean in LA you see the occasional giant crane here or sandblasted building there, and granted on this China trip I'd seen a good excessive amount of 'em in all the little burgeoning cities we'd hectically drifted through, but today, THIS took the cake, it was like all of that times another 750, plus maybe a few more zeroes.. just big, TONS OF cranes, thousands of them, huge crazy buildings going up everywhere as far as the eye could see into the distance in almost every direction. It was endless, it was madness, it was exciting, it made me want to go and build little endless complicated cities of my own, blinking with little "plane don't crash into me!" blink lights and weird neon ads with confoundingly misused English Characters.. Yeah, Shanghai was something else, I tell ya what.

Got to the terminal on time, checked my bag, tried to take a shit - hmmm nothing doing, sit and wait in the stuff gate with all the other folks. Hurts to sit on this bench, I lay across three seats and was a bit less uncomfortable. Damn when does the freakin' plane BOARD already! Weren't we supposed to be on that thing like 45 min ago? So stuffy in here and that damned Brazilian girl is clanging around on those stupid lighty-rollerskates so I can't relax...

Finally, we board, one hour late. My seat is the very back of the plane, sharing the wall with the bathroom. Everytime someone flushes the toilet, I hear the sound of air rushing in to suck out the waste, ad it makes me cringe with it's sudden loud burst, and I think of the poor little girl in Nebraska or whatever whose poor little intestines got sucked out of her body when she was sitting on top of that pool drain which freak-randomly air suctioned her out (and later she died) and it probably sounded like that WHOOSH in the bathroom, and my ass hurts and maybe my guts are getting sucked out also. Awesome. I sat there in that little tight seat shifting and fidgeting for 11 goddamn hours, because it was too uncomfortable to sit to long without that soreness making me insane, i would be awesome if they would just let me lay down in the aisle! (no chance) and HEY LOOK they are playing a movie.. oh. Oh it is Spider-Man 3. Eastern China Airlines LOVES Spider-Man 3. The shittiest of all the Spider-Man movies, and this was the third time I'd seen it on a plane. Ah well, after that they played some chick movies (at least Spider-Man 3 was watchable). If I had half a brain I would've though to put a bunch of movies on the damn 40GB Ipod.. XXXXXXXX.

Anyway 11 hrs. Not as bad as the flight in, though I didn't sleep a wink with the sore ass, but I did manage to plow through the whole entire "Masters of Doom" book in one day (about the id software guys). It was a little cavemany, but interesting to read nonetheless. Finaly - FINALLY we landed back in the states. The last hour was something else. So this was weird, my flight left at 3pm Saturday and now I had arrived at like... NOON Saturday, the same day, and somehow watched a sunset and sunrise over the course of the in-between time. Whatever. Man I have never been so happy to get off of a plane. I launched through customs, changed the rest of the yuan in my wallet for dollars, tried to poop (nope. nope), then hopped on the bus for a bumpy and still uncomfortable, but still relieving ride back. Bus dropped me Downtown, hopped the metro rail to Hollywood, realized I'd got on the PURPLE instead of the RED by accident (it's actually hard to tell, esp. when you've been awake and spacecamping for umpteen bazillion hours... oh thank Christ I wasn't hungover on top of it. Backtracked the subway, got off Hollywood n Vine, got a schwaerma, walked home, did my laundry, saw my jury duty summons waiting for me, threw out the dead flowers, saw the doc and he told me it was roids, soak your ass in warm water and eat this fibre and put these suppositories up your ass. yep, I am old.

Oh and the icing on the cake, I actually cabbed out to the Dr, cabbed back as well (duh), the driver is watching an Armenian Wedding (low-grade) on a little TV in the middle of his dash as he drives. He zooms through a red light taking me back, a car full of extremely angry black people pull up beside him and start screaming, i mean SCREAMING at the dude "What the hell is wrong with you!! You ran that light!! What the hell!! F You!! Get out of your car right now! You get out right now!" And he's yelling back "Yeah F you alright!!F you! Shut up!! F You!!" Armenian wedding video with the blarey music playing on the dash still "F You!!!" I am trying not to spill my coke on the seat. He pulls forward (behind a cop being yelled at by some random dude in the street) and clicks of the Wedding. We drive to Franklin and Bronson in Silence.

Ah, Hollywood.

-----

by the way, it is now 3:30 in the am. I don't know when the last time I actually slept was. Not since waking up in Shanghai at the hotel. I Guess I should go to sleep now. Yeah.

DATELINE:DONGXING

Yesterday was our first full day in May's hometown. We slept in a little late, went out to get a phonecard, then met her brother and his little group for some lunch (wontons). After that May and I hopped on his motorscooter with him, for a quick ride to the sidewalk beside the river/Vietnam border, where we sat under an umbrella and ate peanuts, pumpkin (i think) seeds, ice cream, lychee, and drank beer and smoked. This was very interesting, as you could see long thin (1-man) barges running up and down the river all the while, bringing all the leftover crap from other countries to sell at local markets in China and Viet Nam. You know all those old CRT monitors and Televisions that everyone in the US got rid of when they wanted to upgrade to flatscreens and LCD? This is where they all go! You'd see barges full of nothing but TVs, not joking. Many barges full of old clothes wrapped up in bags. Barges full of rubber tubes for bicycle tires or bundles of car tires - it's very weird to just see huge piles of them being ferried back and forth. May's brother said he'd seen barges filled with old Playstations once in awhile...

After a couple of hours of that, her bro gave us a ride to visit her childhood friend who'd just recently had a baby. In Chinese tradition, Mother and Child are confined to the home for the entire first month following the baby's birth, so we had to go to her place to visit her. Her Baby's Daddy was at the office, so we just visited with her and some of her in-laws. Then got picked up for another crazy motorscooter ride with May's bro Ken to head back to his place (which is the same apartment May lived in from age 11-19) to gather the troops for dinner.

The motorscooter rides are pretty wild. I had never been on a motorcycle before, I assume it's pretty similar. In China you just hop on in a pile of people and hold on for all you're worth, as the rider slips and slides in and out of traffic (auto traffic and pedestrian traffic, simultanerously). Since I am a white guy in a city where I have not seen a SINGLE OTHER WHITE PERSON, at all, I get a lot of stares, it is pretty weird. A lot of the double-take look "huh, is that..?"

We had dinner, a lot of seafood (jellyfish, shrimp, crab soup and some ocean fish) and some chicken and beef and sweet and sour pork (and more beer, and of course smoking). Man yesterday was just a ton fo drinking beer all day, I didn't know what I was in for. May's little cousin (7 yrs old) was very cute, she loves seafood. She kept clamoring to eat the eyeballs out of the fish... We retired back at the family's house afterwards, then it was off to meet some of May's old buddies from elementary school at a Karaoke bar.

The bar was alright, they cordon you off into individual rooms and have three monitors ("the mommy, the daddy, and the baby monitor") showing pics of supermodels while remixes of USA and Chinese pop music play. There's plates of fruit, spicy cucumbers, nuts and beef sit interspersed with shot glasses and a seemingly endless supply of beercans. The dudes (salarymen) were sitting there, playing rock-paper-scissors (drinking version) and Poker. They have a dice game called "bluffing" which they sucked me in to, i got pretty good at it - but as i drank more, I got shittier at it. The guys were cool but the game made us all get pretty competetive. Man, at that point I was really wishing I had not been drinking booze all day (I had no idea what I was in for!) Fortunately I was able to keep it together, and as it was only beer, I didn't have to worry about getting shitfaced..

brodelay

what's up, game fiends. I am still on vacation, carousing through the weird bizarre land of China, but thought I would take a few minutes and draft an update to my game-design blog, or whatever one would call this trainwreck, really.

So of course I am quite out of touch with the world of game news these days - hell, out of touch with much WORLD news for that matter - but i do dip in here and there when I can get a moment, just to make sure it's not all gone the way of the dodo. You know, just in case. It sounds like things have been extremely busy in my absence - what's this, talk on an Xbox 360 price cut? Mega Man 9 is a throwback/retro-looking title? Castlevania fighter, and of course the announcement of Diablo 3 for next March (sigh, wish they could push that business back a little further, oh well hmm we will see, won't we. Go Fall!!!) And lots of news regarding all the millions of rock n roll games that seem to be all the rage with the kids these days. Lucasarts layoffs (yeah, more). I am sure there's a bunch of other stuff going on, as the typical summer malaise kicks into videogameland (with no big releases planned for some time). Otherwise, the pre-E3 hysteria sort of generally takes hold and everyone gets ready to be wowed and confused and all fo that, really.

So, Mega Man 9. This certainly looks interesting - can I say that "I called it?" Well maybe I didn't mention it, or figure on this particular instance, but it certainly was the type of very-specific idea I have had going on in myhead for some time, to be honest. I am just a little surprised Capcom was the one to go ahead and bite this time, though I can't say it should come as the hugest of shocks - that would be reserved for a follow-up 8-Bit Castlevania or Ninja Gaiden. Anyway I haven't seen more than the most momentary of screenshots of this thing, but the mind races with possibility. It should be interesting to see how it turns out and all of that, and what the fallout is that ensues. Anyway, lest the world should forget how well New Super Mario Bros. performed on the DS..

In honor of this, I booted up a couple of older MM games. Back in the day, I played (a LOT) through the first 4, by that point I had pretty much had enough. So the last couple of days I checked out 5 and 6 (NES) for the first time in ages and started trying to play through them in earnest, a little. Man. Those games are hard. Not super-duper hard, but they are a bit punishing compared to the ease with which I remember having swept through the earlier ones. Nice looking, each one gets progressively more technically inspiring - though honestly, I will always maintain that Mega Man peaked, for me, with Number Two. It was one of those cases where the game truly oozed with love and devotion, and all the parts gelled. The later ones were certainly cool but it was really getting to feel like a paint-by-the-numbers affair and "enough already," and just not anywhere near as captivating. I mean, if nothing else, none of them just sounded as AWESOME as Two...

DATELINE: DONGXING (May's Hometown)

Well, another day, another hotel room. May swears this one smells kind of gross though. Hell at this point, everything everywhere smells kind of funny to me actually (nah it ain't bad).

Well, yesterday was a long, long day - a day full of travel, and sitting, and waiting. We got up early to catch a flight from Shanghai to Nanning (airport in Guangxi province) - woke up and hopped in a cab, but we messed up and registered for our flight 5 minutes later than we ought to have (7am). Unfortnuately, the next flight to this province wasn't for EIGHT HOURS, so we had to sit in the airport lobby and gate, and just chill till then. Then a 2.5 hour flight (delayed another half hour, also) and then a 3 hr busride - we got to our hotel at LAST just after 11:30pm. So yeah, my butt is sore from sitting - but then, I have gotten quit egood at that, over the years.

This province, Dongxing, is very interesting. Reminds me of Xi'An in some ways - there's TONS of land development going on here. After we first landed and drove to the bus terminal, we'd pass endless rows of construction machinery, all lined up in front of infinite plazas. The skyline was always dotted with cranes erecting buildings, apartment and business. It looks like there's tons of area to fill and CONSTANT DEVELOPMENT. It's pretty amazing. We rushed to eat some dinner at a local joint and then hustle to the bus terminal, didn't wanna miss another trip! We sat and waited once there, a monitor was playing advisory cartoons trying to inspire people to drive safe. The cartoons were of horrible quality, like if some retarded 6th grader got his hands on 3D Studio Max for the first time 3 months ago and was still trying to learn it. I thought it was humorous how we'd see cartoons of buses running off cliffs and crashing into lakes and etc, before having a dangerous bus trip of our own (it was super-late at night, so not much traffic, fortunately).

This leg of the tour is certainly different, markedly, than the previous parts. It's way more rustic, I guess one would say, out here - also I am pretty much the only white person in town, anywhere! I get stared at a lot. May's brother and his group met us at the bus drop-off last night, we deposited our belongings in the hotel and then walked up the street to a little strip of stores. In front of them on the sidewalk, vendors would setup little roofed-off areas filled with little short plastic chairs and tables, right at the curb they'd set up grills and coolers filled with booze. We sat and ate BBQ pork and chicken and calamari and corn-on-the-cob, and drank a bunch of booze while playing the drinking chinese version of "rock paper scissors." The group was very friendly and it was fun to hang out and finally see people in a non-touristy representation. Wish I took my camera and shot some pics, perhaps we'll do the same thing tonight!

It's just past 9am local time, I rolled out of bed a little while ago, we'll meet a bunch of may's other friends in a couple of hours. NO ONE speaks any English at all over here, except hello or thank you, and I am practicing the local dialect versions of the same. It's pretty difficult for a newb like me to speak chinese, the tones are very delicate.. I am practicing though. Tomorrow will be interesting, I gotta get up super-early to repeat all of yesterday's traveling in reverse and return to shanghai (hopefully, without all the extra 8 hours of waiting!) and make my way through a good deal of it on my own, as the lady and I will part company at that point, for the remainder of the trip. Should be interesting!

RANDOM STUFF - if I haven't mentioned it before, (and I know I have), drivers in china are INSANE. Lanes, street signs, that sort of thing seem to be treated more as a suggustion than anyhting else. Automobiles seem to entrust that they can somehow perturb the laws of physics to fit in between one another. Everybody is constantly honking and beeping at one another, and motorscooters, motorcycles, and bicycles (and pedestrians) are constantly squeezing thru all the moving negative space between the traffic - it is a sight to behold. The typical motorscooter will have a dude on the front and his lady sitting side-saddle behind him with her legs just hanging off to one side as he careens through the traffic. In this current province, I notice a lot of motorcycle setups where three (or FOUR) dudes will squeeze onto a single motorcycle seat. I need to take some pics of this stuff - it is just amazing. I try to imagine any of this stuff in the States, the cops would have a field day!!

Trying my best to maintain my digestive prowess. Can't drink anything with ice in it usually, as it's not purified. That means I drink a lot of booze or warm soda. I can't wait to get home and just chug bottles of water! I am not gonna drink any soft drinks for like 4 months after this trip, I guess..

It's amazing, the clash between old and new that one witnesses out here. Lots of little old/poor people will still be carrying buckets of things supported by a stick held on their back (across their shoulders), justlike you'd have pictured them doing hundreds of years ago. You see this everyday, everywhere, no matter how modern the city. There's a constant juxtaposition of old and new everywhere, even in a super-built-up area like Shanghai. Round a corner of a modern shopping plaza, and you'll find a tight back alley filled with dudes drinking and smoking and hanging laundry on the decrepit-looking facades on their apartment buildings, playing mahjhong in little smoke-filled dens. It's quite bizarre.

The trip has been outrageous, though I do look forward to getting home and settling back into my routine - I feel that there's a tremendous backlog of things waiting for me to deal with! I am psyched to get back to "normal food" as well, hahaha... Just a few more days! Anyway, I have a bunch of pics to post, but that won't happen for some time yet. May put a few up on her myspace page, check them out to tide over in the meantime.

DATELINE:SHANGHAI - end of the Official China Tour

Yeah, so today was the final day of our official tour of China. I’ll still be lingering for the rest of the week, as we depart for May’s hometown Dongxing, in Guangxi tomorrow (bright an’ early!! Flight is like 7am) Anyway today we got up, showered and headed out for the day’s duties. After visiting a Silk factory (May and I sat out on the bus, and read our books) our group checked out the Yu Garden, a nice little nature park – more of the same temple-y looking stuff we’d seen, smooshed into the middle of a very modern city. The place was very ornate, very beautiful, with its ponds of fat-looking fish that kept sticking their heads above water in hopes of getting some delectable morsels (they were not too lucky, today). It was a gross, rainy grey day, so not too psyched to be trodding about it in it too much, but it did sort of enhance the mood of the places we visited (made for some cool looking photography, at least!) After this, passed through some crazy bustling marketplace selling all manner of items. Clothes, TShirts, little flashy wheel-things you could put in your shoes, lots of crazy touristy junk and trinkets. We grabbed our final “official tour meal” as a group, it was nothing extraordinary but definitely one of the better we’ve eaten. Then headed out to get a mini-cruise around the river that runs through the town, it kinda stunk since it was raining so it wasn’t very conducive to sitting upstairs in the open-air viewing area, also the city was shrouded in fogginess. Add to this, the general exhaustion we were collectively feeling – the cruise wrapped up and we returned to the hotel, our group dwindled a bit and we bade our tour guide fairwell.

Later that night a few of our group went out for dinner at a local place, we had a very good meal (I got some, err, interesting pictures of the menu items with my camera). We decided to forego eating Worms or Dogmeat, and went for Bees instead. Yep, we ate fried bees! They tasted like Tater Tots. Headed back to the hotel after, i had a couple of drinks at the club inside and tried to chat it up with the locals (their limited English was much better than my severely limited Chinese). I met a girl who told me she was the Devil.. aren't they all though? I got back with my group for a farewell drink, then we said goodbye as we parted ways and headed for bed.

Now it is Tuesday morning, I am sitting at Cheer Way in the airport waiting for our flight outta Shanghai. I am sad to leave this place, Shangha is a cool and interesting place - other than recounting the events "then we did this, then we did that" I have much to say about the people and environment here, more on that later..

DATELINE:SHANGHAI - China's Modern Metropolis

It is currently Sunday night, here’s the recap of the past two days. Saturday, June 28 We awoke at our hotel in Guilin, 2nd day there. Hopped in the bus (a little late!) and motored down to the riverboat tour, Li River – a 4-hour tour (no Gilligan’s Island Jokes please). The boat ride was quite pleasant, very mellow. It was a dinner vessel, not what you’d call fancy of course – they managed to squeeze a good few tour groups per boat, dining hall downstairs and observation deck (open air) upstairs. The weather was considerate, neither rainy nor hot and humid – it was just right, helped on by the breeze. Fortunately not excessively mosquito-y either (though my feet did get a good bit chomped up). We loaded up, sat downstairs for a spot of the tea, then as the tour began we moved upstairs to enjoy the air and the view. Not too too much to look at (more of the same – just a lot of bizarre hill formations and things, which seem to be the main draw) but what there was, was fine. I still do appreciate the surreal landscape – it was nice, and relaxing, though it was nice once the boat ride ended and we got back to land since there was a bit of that waiting feeling sort of permeating the whole thing. For me, the highlight was the “hookers” that would be in the water (no, not those kind of hookers!) on little bamboo rafts, or whatever.. as the tour boats passed by, they’d ride up alongside and literally hook right up to our boat, then the two riders would climb up to the very-thin outer edge of the boat and knock on the windows to get passenger attention and hawk their wares (the usual merch.. little statues of fisherman, lowgrade jewelry boxes, et cetera). It might not sound like much on paper, but it was something to see – those guys are nuts! They’d do their business, then dispatch and head to the next vessel. Their little raft would be tiny (maybe less than 20 feet long, and 4 feet across – and looking like it was always nearly about to collapse and fall in the water anyway, their feet would always be under the water). Nuts, I tell ya.
The ship’s crew would cook our meal at the back of the boat (outside), and after eating and the ride wrapped up, we sleepily exited into the Guilin town of Yangshou (pronounced “yahn-soo”) to check into our next hotel. We walked through a whole downtown tourist district, which was as happening as any we’d seen before (in other words, quite!) to get to the hotel. Checked in, we unloaded our crap, then as my girlfriend passed out I headed back to town (I saw a little local pizza place there, and being a little homesick for American-style grub I couldn’t resist!) They were playing some really chill, mellow music and there was a nice seat right on the sidewalk (AND they were serving some good looking selection of liquors to boot) so I said thanks very much and sat down with my book and ate some ‘za and watched the crowd for a few hours. It was really nice, really relaxing! After a couple of hours of that, and being harassed by the occasional local merchants (no thanks = “boo-ya”) I headed back to the hotel for some dinner (as usual, no big deal) and plans to go out and see what the local flavor enjoy for their Saturday night. Well, I kinda passed out hard on the pillow after my dinner, and we had to be up early the next day for our flight to Shanghai..
That brings us to today. We got up after 6am, shower and etc – something was leaking in the bathroom so as the water ran it got smellier (ewwww) so we kinda hustled. The bus dropped us off at the Guilin Airport, we boarded and flew to Shanghai. Ate lunch on the plane (some beef w/ rice, a couple of veggies, a piece of bread, some warm soda). Disembarked off the plane, walked outside to our waiting bus – we walked by a McD’s, my heart sang (in a gross way, I suppose) but there was no time to sidetrack so we boarded the bus and began our new phase of the journey.. yes, again.
We got over to the Shanghai Ancient History museum, to hang out for a couple of hours, check out the exhibits. Place was packed, mid-day – we waited a good 20 minutes to get in, they ran every entrant thru a metal detector (like entering an airport!) even made us through away liquids. Whatever.. anyway it was pretty hot and gross outside, so it was nice to get in there. But honestly the museum didn’t do much for me, particularly at this point in the trip. I can be a bit of a museum nerd, under certain conditions (well, almost never, I suppose) but the ancient history, while interesting, is not something I care much for browsing in person – I’m happy enough to read about it and scan some images, old-ass vases just get extremely redundant to me. Yeah, I know I sound like an uncultured Philistine (there’s irony in there, see?) but to be fair I did well as an art history (minor) student, I just have my preferences and this period doesn’t do much for me. It’s repetitive. It’s repetitive. Ancient history is repetitive. We looked at some interesting calligraphy and older Chinese brushwork thru the different dynasties, of course that’s way newer than the ancient vases and pots/pans/etc – again, this stuff doesn’t do much for me either. The modern world considers it to be fairly elegant and classy, I suppose, but for me – it’s alright, a lot of it looks rushed and unfinished and redundant. Once in awhile you’ll find a piece that is brilliant with detail, with rhythm, and I can’t argue with that for a second. But a lot of it just feels simple and cluttery. Hey, I am allowed to have an opinion! My impressions are that of a spoiled modern-day student, with exposure to several periods and a hugely vast vantage point. Then again, what I’d call “Art” which comes outta me, most would consider some kind of trendy lackluster boring prostitution. This is another discussion for another time, probably.
We left the museum, ate another dinner (started out alright, got kinda gross) and walked over to a huge shopping area, Nanjing Road. Kind of like the 3rd Street Promenade or Newbury Street of Shanghai, sorrrrt of. Lots of malls and overpriced boutiques and all sorts of crap… lots of cute girls. Didn’t get to hang out too much, but it had a little of that Harajuku feel, I guess, is the closest way to describe it. After this, we caught another theater show, the final of the trip – we were all a little burned out on these by now, but whatever, it’s Shanghai, let’s indulge them I suppose (though I think many of us would have been happy enough to lounge around the shopping district and enjoy the local flavor instead). The “acrobat show” did turn out to be worthwhile after all, they truly threw in “everything but the kitchen sink…” It was remarkable, I wish I could have got some pictures for posterity. We had more of the “folding people” we’d seen the night before (the folks who could contort their bodies into outrageous positions, while balancing atop one another) – then a bunch of fellows dressed in suits and top hats doing crazy juggling/catching stunts.. a couple of body builders doing wild feats of strength and balance – girls spinning plates on poles, while moving around an climbing one another – girls balancing and climbing while bicycle riding – a magician (with birds, sword-through-the-box, sleight-of-hand, etc) – a cheesy laser light show to techno music, and then the finale was one of those giant caged domes with 5 motorcycle stunt riders careening around inside the small enclosed area. Yeah, it was pretty impressive!
After this our group retired to the hotel, a few of us young’uns were itching to investigate the night life of this crazy city however. We got a tip from the concierge to solicit the Xin Tian Di district, hopped in a cab, and then walked around, eventually we followed a German dude who was in turn being led into a disco by some slutty looking Asian chicks on his arm (yeah, very wholesome, I know, what d’ya want). But it worked, we found a cool little spot, the music was booming and the layout of the place was pretty neat. It looked kind of like a lair from Tron or something, very angular and heavy on the shiny black plastic/bright neon panels. It was rather early, on a Sunday night, so not very wild inside, but there was definitely some energy and a couple of maniacs on the dance floor. We had a round of drinks and I got to exert some energy (yeah, I actually had some left!) and did my usual routine, it had been awhile and it felt good to let loose. The drinks were quite expensive, it was fortunate that I was the only boozer in the crew otherwise it would have been damaging on my wallet! Anyway half of our crowd was quite young and not used to such atmosphere, and everybody was generally quite beat from the trip at large, so we just hung out for a spell and then cabbed back home to our hotel for some shuteye. I was happy to find another club right here in our hotel, though the music booming out of it was quite large and invigorating, the interior was the biggest of no-no’s (that is, utterly dead) so I immediately turned around, marched upstairs and passed out in bed, next to my sweetheart.

-- on vacation in China! --

yeah. the past week i have been touring through china with my girlfriend (and a tour group). I have been keeping a journal on my personal blog:

http://ralp99.blogspot.com/

I'l be back early July, when we get thru with this i will return to business and put my microscope back on the gaming world - i have been out of touch, but so much can happen in a short amount of time!

DATELINE:GUILIN

Well okay, so I have skipped a day of typing, it’s been some busy times for me! Here is the rundown of the events of the past two days for Ron and May in China.

Thurs, June 26 – day #2 in Xi’an, and so we got up and headed out, the group saw a famous religious area “Yan Pagoda.” I wasn’t paying too much attention to the particulars, it was an area with a large golden Buddha statue that people would prey to, and burn candles and light incense in front of. For me, it was a good spot to get a ton of photo reference, and so I did exactly that. Afterwards, we were due to visit the "ninth wonder of the world" (or was it eighth?), the Terracotta Warriors. An Ancient Chinese Ruler had an army of close to 10,000 statues built, I believe the count was, to defend his underground tomb. This dated back a good several hundred years BC, I think around the same time as the construction of the Great Wall. Hell if you want the details, go to Wikipedia! Anyway, first they brought us to a factory where they create souvenier warrior statues in their likeness, so you can bring some of your own home. Then the usual spiel of all the gaudy things you could buy. Then off to another place (in a ghost-town feeling area) to eat lunch, another tourist restaurant of course - while we ate, they would unroll enormous wall scrolls and try to get us to buy them. After this our bus headed to the pits where the actual Terracotta Warriors were (still) being unearthed, they were originally discovered in 1974. Though a lot of people generally seem interested in this topic, I must say it didn't really do too much for me compared to many other things I have seen - I mean, it doesn't rank up there with something like the pyramids or the grand canyon (i haven't actually seen the latter in person, but you get my drift). Still I can appreciate the awesome size of the exhibit, and the weirdness that it was just discovered barely 30 yrs ago - and is still undergoing excavation and reconstruction.

Following all of that, we chilled out in a tea house and I kicked back a couple of beers while we waited for the remainder of our crew to wrap up. Then of course, back to the hotel for dinner, though May and I decided to journey into the town and seek out some local bite to eat rather than another subpar "meal for tourists" (note that the food isn't "bad," per se, just boring and really the same fare over and over again). Anyway we headed downtown in Xi'an and found a place with some pretty damned tasty spicy beef, if I do say so myself. A couple of college art professors from our group joined us, and we all shared the food - they also ordered trip ad Ox Tails, which weren't bad. A little bartering with the locals, and then back to the hotel - disappointing, as we were in a hustle and bustle area and I wanted to get a chance to chill out with the locals for an evening. Instead I just relaxed in the hotel lounge and drank a few glasses of whiskey (not enough to do much damage, as they were quite small and the atmosphere was ubelievably mellow).

Last night I slept pretty horribly, I had some dream about answering a knock at my door and some kid riding his bike up to it and pointing a gun at my face, I woke up with a real jump. I fell back asleep and dreamt about losing my apartment ("my prized possession!") and I was in some relationship with some random girl, we always fought - eventually she left me for some other guy, but they lived with me and wouldn't leave me alone (they were always reminding me how I was a failure in love + career + etc) Of course I got pretty bitter and started saying disparaging things about the both of them, a lot of my friends started to get offended by this and would send me angry emails and answering machine messages. I woke up once more and felt exhausted from this stress, obviously I did not want to sleep anymore! I went to the bathroom feeling quite queasy - at last the dreaded upset stomach of the chinese vacation had caught up with me! (For the record I'd been noticeably bound up much of the past week). Wonderful things to read, I am sure, but certainly worth mentioning. I had fears of it hitting me in the middle of a Death March somewhere, or long bus ride - fortunately, it's been easygoing as those things go, and I have been trying to take it easy on the ol' digestive tract today.

Anyway, on with the tour recount - after spending some quality time with Mr Toilet, and being the last one to file onto the tour bus, we rocketed out of our hotel and towards the airport, then flew without incident towards the next stop on our destination, the somewhat tropical region of Giulin. A quick flight over (maybe 1:30?) and we piled into the next bus. This area has an interesting look to it, compared to our last stops - much, much more rural, bizarre and interesting landscape. Crazy surreal mountainous region, the likes of which I have never seen before. While much of the rest of China (that I have seen) feels like a dry dusty desert which had urban elements plopped into it, this region feels like it was until recently quite wild and...well, like I was saying, Tropical! It feels like the roads are barely freshly paved, and that's not to say they look neat and tidy - just that there probably wasn't much in the way of paving going on here 30-odd yrs ago, possibly. Lots of poverty around, lots of tiny hovels, the first 30 min we cruised through town in our bus I noticed nary an actual traffic light. As we got further in, the town built up somewhat, like the other cities in China we have visited it's just endless and always bustling, plenty of people traveling back and forth all over the place, slipping and sliding past one another. More than Xi'an, this place was even more humid and warm, fortunately it cooled as the day grew later. Also to note, it had a lot of the rice paddy field-things you read about in elementary school, the ones that look so clean and perfect, like they would be fun to run through or something..

We stopped in this weird huge cave, a big tourist trap - they've done up the inside with colorful neon lights hidden in it's crevices, giving everything this bizarre otherworldly look that's party feeling like a fake-movie set, almost. You knock on the cave walls and expect it to feel like plaster! Walking inside the cave was really a treat though, as it was so misty and cool compared to the draining gross heat outside. Also it was just a surreal and comfortable, I guess, experience, that it made me sad that we kind of poured in and out of there so fast - I could have hapily spent a couple of hours zoning out in there. It was hard to get "normal" pics in there due to the crazy lighting, but it was wonderful to generate plenty of abstract photography for the same reasons - experimenting with motion and prolonged exposure produced a lot of wild and interesting results. It was a lot of fun! Almost all my pics I shot in there look like a crazy rave..

After this, our group bussed over to some famous hill (I forget the name, bah!) and hiked up a bunch of stairs to get to the top. The heat made it a little annoying, but the climb was much more bearable than the Great Wall of just a few days earlier (by a longshot!) We got up there and shot some pics of the great 360 degree view. It was pretty cool, and I was probably a little too beat to appreciate it - you could really see a lot of interesting terrain and (rundown) cityscape from up there. That is the problem with this trip, I should say - we do see a LOT of interesting things, but it's gotten to the point where we're all so overstimulated from constant running around all over the place that there's not really any chance to "stop and smell the roses." That's the thing about taking an organized tour, you just gotta go with the flow, stay on your toes, and process it all later on. One of the reasons I am trying to keep this vacation journal at such a (relatively) hectic pace is so that I can keep track of Up and Down, since my whole sense of perspective is slippery at best, after this madness...!

Tonight we ate -- yeah, guess it, come on, another subpar chinese dinner at a tourist-serving spot! Then it was off to a local theater to see a show (I think 1.5 hrs) showcasing the traditional costume and dance of some of the local ethnicities. Like many of the shows we've seen on this trip, it was quite ghetto, though it's the first one I didn't find myself nodding off during. The previous one was easily the most lavish, though this show had some outrageous gymnastics going on. You know, those people with the unbelievably limber bodies who could lie on their chests and bend their legs all the way around and pretty much scratch their heads with them, as they were balancing on a couple of other LAYERS of people. It's amazing the amount of control some people can exert over their physique, absolutely amazing (if not also somewhat grotesque!) The show was enjoyable, but it was a long day and I think we were happy to wrap it up and head to hotel number three. We passed through Downtown in our bus, it was completely bustling with throngs of people everywhere, looking like a great time. Like I mentioned, everybody seemed completely exhausted and so I've no idea if anyone was gonna venture out into that madness - already 10pm and another day coming up of more running around to look forward to, as I type these words my drive to spite them and go out alone is diminishing. Also I am kinda colored by the night I had out by myself in Xi'an, it was cool but I felt way out of place and ill-equipped of the nerves to go out and cause a ruckus. I might just have to save my energy a little for Shanghai and May's hometown, I mean -- hell, we still have another WEEK of this trip to contend with!!

Anyway, so that's where things stand. A four hour boat tour tomorrow, followed by I dunno what else, then we'll stay in a different hotel tomorrow night, then fly to Shanghai the following day. Whew.

Some odds and ends are in order. Firstly, May wanted to point out that the post office (in the Beijing airport) ripped her off the other day when they made her mail out her Zippo Lighters, they cost US$30 to send out the US$80 set.

In Beijing, we passed by something creepy called Disney Gardens, a more-than-proposed Disney Theme Park which actually seems to have got a fair bit of the way under construction before the whole thing got shitcanned. I mean, you drive by and see cartoon buildings and cinderella-castle looking things before you notice it's something which never got completed and possibly (?) never will. The tour guide was mentioning "take a lesson, you should plan something out properly before getting far into it!" But considering it's Disney, and China, I am sure some hairy politics must have been it's undoing. A day or two later we passed another unfinished amusement park in a strange out-of-the-way place, I mean it's nothing but creepy to see those rollercoaster tracks that just abruptly stop, in the middle of a ghost town.

I know my girlfriend, and parents, etc will love reading this, but I noticed that one can not view porn on the internet over here. I dunno if it's the firewall of the hotels we are staying at, or some blocker program on my girlfriend's computer, or what, but my personality is such that when I can't access something I start to kinda dig into it and try to find a way around it, just for spite if nothing else (hell, I am a problem solver!) I did find, I think maybe ONE quality picture of a vagina. And there wasn't even any foreign objects trying to violate it, for crying out loud! Regardless, for my efforts I keep waiting for some crack military assault squad to arrive with helicopters, bust through the walls, confiscate the laptop and arrest the entire tour group, and of course do something horrible to all of my entrails to set an example for others. Hmm, something like that. Anyway, mental note, next time bring own porn. While on topic, I should note I don't believe I have seen any whores/weird sex things yet. I think we passed by a massage parlour but it looked legit.

Hanging out in Beijing was bad enough but Xi'an was worse, in regards to traffic behavior. Obeying traffic lights and such seems like more of a suggestion than anything else - the way people drive her is absolutely crazy retarded. It's just - I don't know, organic. Survival of the Fittest. Call it what you will. Being on a bus is one thing, but cabbing it is another universe altogether. You see pedesstrians (even.. little kids! Like LITTLE KIDS BY THEMSELVES!) stranded in the middle of the street while cars and trucks just whiz by them, nonchalantly. It makes one feel like traffic back home is incredibly tame, by comparison. It's quite a rush to watch, and more than anything - well, one tends to look at the faces of the pedestrians while they are INCHES FROM BEING POSSIBLY SIDESWIPED BY A BUS, and their look is just nothing, business as usual. "Oh, I almost met my maker. So, who cares." I wonder how people like that can adapt to driving in the states. It's so remarkable.

Sigh. Almost midnight. Need to be up by 7. It looked like a really good time out in the city tonight, and it's just up the road, but Lorda Mercy I think i am gonna cheese out (awww!) and give my depleted constitution a bit of the brief respite. I know, I will regret this...!

DATELINE:XI'AN - The Guts of China

Sigh, another day gone by, in this weird so-called vacation of mine. I must note, for those wondering, I passed the International Date Line when arriving here, obviously, so usually as I am typing these things it's past midnight where I am at, while many of those who read it are just getting started with the previous day. Weird, right? It's just past midnight, Thursday morning, here in Xi'an, China - back in Los Angeles, it's Wednesday morning, 9am. Boston is a little easier since it is an even 12 hr difference (so, 12 noon wednesday there). Anyway, you get the point.

So to get right into it - last night I was hoping to get out and party, but that didn't end up happening (once again) for various reasons, mainly I will chalk it up to the fates conspiring against me. Still, May and I did escape from our tour group in order to meet up with a local friend of hers, in Beijing - she brought us to a really tasty hot-pot spot (shabu shabu of the non-japanese variety). Yes, best meal we've had this entire trip, easily..

Today (Wednesday), we hopped up out of bed, packed all of our crap, and met the group in the lobby, as it was time to depart the capital city of Beijing and head to the next stop on the tour, Xi'an (a former capital of China). We bussed out to the aiport, only to find out that may + my tickets weren't available along with the entire rest of the group (one of the guides' tix was missing as well). We had to bus over to a different terminal (which must have been, honestly, a good ten miles away - not kidding!) We got in, hurrying to catch our flight on time, they scan our luggage and SHIT there's a problem. May bought Zippo lighters (real popular over here) back home and brought as gifts for some friends, well I guess those don't mesh with procedure so they started going through our bags and trying to throw the lighters out. She was pissed, as they were worth like $80 altogether, and convinced them to let her ship them at the airport's post office. So we rush over there (clock is ticking!) and they had just finished washing the goddamned floor of this little tiny hovel of a post office.. " you have to wait for the floor to try before you may enter!" They were being dicks, arguing with us and the security guy. Anyway they won and we waited, dropped in the mail, ran to get on the plane, bingo all set. Short flight (2.5 hrs or so, if that) and when we got there, found out that the plane the rest of the group on got delayed anyway so we hadda wait another hour for them to show up.

We finally met up and trucked through Xi'an for some sightseeing. very, very different place than Beijing. The latter being a building-up Industrial, modernized city, Xi'an feels like a bit of a dustbin by comparison. It just feels like someone decided to plunk a huge endless city into the middle of a heaving-dry desert - even at nighttime, it's disgustingly swealtering. I imagine the local folks are quite hardy for living here. The visuals were amazing, kind of unlike any environment I have ever been in - I must have snapped hundreds of photos. The buildings were lovingly detailed with pipes, Tubes, AC ducts, and exposed wiring the likes of which you'd see in a late 70s cyberpunk flick. Horrible and gorgeous at the same time. It's all doused fairly evenly with a laer of poverty, no doubt aided by the climate, so it's fair to say there's a very particular mood exuding from this place not quite like one I have noticed elsewhere. At the same time, in some ways, very familiar. Sort of like a more urbanized, non-mexican van nuys in certain ways.

We got dinner at a Dumpling Specialty place - nothing wonderful, but certainly better than the past several meals they've fed us! After that was a traditional dance show, which was impressive, but overlong. It tuckered everyone out, all were back to the hotel and in bed by 10pm, wild huh? The thing is, we pack so much into these days that I think people's batteries are just being superdrained..

As for me, I was determined to go out and sample some of the local flavor. As I've no accomplices to accompany me at the moment, I had decided to go out my lonesome - which is good for some reasons, bad for others.. but regardless I shoe'd up my already-exhausted dogs and hit the pavement. A bellman pointed me in the direction of bars, though 15 minutes looking that way yielded nothin', so I just kept wandering. I didn't wanna just call a cab and say "take me to a club!" for a number of reasons - I was by myself, what if they took me somewhere super-far away and it got expensive, or to some place filled with boring-ass tourists (tourist trap), or the other kind of tourist trap where you could get ripped off, mugged, etc (yeah, this sorta seems sketchy enough to be that kind of a city). Anyway I wandered aimlessly, past 11pm on a Wednesday night. The streets were pretty active, considering, between cars and peds.. lots of people hanging out on the side of the road, on their motorscooter things or just chilling on stoops, or wandering with their girls to or from wherever. a few stores open here and there but nothing enticing looking. I wandered for awhile, still nothing, eventually i ducked down some really narrow alley that looked like it was brimming with activity. it was sketchier than the main drag but at least it looked like there would be something interesting going on (if anything, maybe there'd be some bars down here!) Just more of the same, lots of people in little clusters, hanging out.. tiny rooms that looked kinda like barber shops, filled with people jawbonin' and smoking (the rooms just looked like thick clouds). People were grilling up all sorts of stuff on either side, tony dens of people playing mahjhongg, chess, stuff like that. It kept going, i kept walking, but it was getting late and nothing was looking like it would be welcoming to a white dude who spoke only english, so I started heading back.

it felt awfully weird, obviously they didn't get many white folks down this way, i really felt out of place. Sort of like a ghost drifting unnoticed thru the middle of the street, something for people to avoid and try to ignore, as it was breaking up their rhythm, their regularity. it felt both cool (to interrupt and disturb it) and awkward (to not know where to go or where to belong) at the same time. I am a city guy, a night guy, so wherever I am I will gravitate to an area like this, the off-the-beat area where the regular tourists wouldn't wanna be, at crazy hours of the night when stuff is dead and people are crazy (I guess they don't wanna be there for a good reason..!)

It is hot here, hotter than Beijing. Even in the dead of night it was uncomfortably hot - today should be worse. This place isn't bad, it's very interesting and unique but I look forward to getting somewhere that I can relax more, shortly.