wow, hard to consider the fact that I have been back home nearly a week now from my trip. My head is still spinning from everything, my system is still adjusting to "getting back to the normal routine." It's actually been a kind of depressing thing to go through all of that hectic excitement and then plunk back into the same, normal life from before. I think i just want to do something different, is the problem..
I have been feeling kind of gross since the trip home, just kind of out of it - kind of like an old man or something. A few things I won't go into, I talked enough about it last time, but it's been staying with me a bit (though getting back to normal as they days pass, fortunately). I was hoping to get home and sort of launch into a period of just living wild a little, or something, but instead I feel like I must (still) bury myself with work and be a good boy. Sigh..
Yeah, I am pretty sick of working. I do (and always will) enjoy what I do, ad I am always thankful for my job and all, but damn I have been doing this getting on ten years now (not very long, admittedly) and I feel like I am always just sort of scraping by. I feel like I am specialized for something very particular, but instead I have to make do with this big compromise. I guess a lot of people feel that way - to make it big, you've really got to go out on a limb, and I sure do see plenty of opportunities for that. I am just getting older and tired of those prospects. I want to kick back and get repaid some dues. i don't actually expect that, honestly, but that's the feeling i have in my bones.
Whatever, I periodically whine about such things, this is no news. I guess when I have weird times of my life such as this, wen I break from my routine for a little, it makes it hard not to put it under a magnifying glass as I have just stepped out of it for a brief moment. I am an analytical guy, I think about the choices I have made and the path I have chosen to follow (for a long time now) and the things which have all led me here, and I have this feeling of unfulfillment that just eats at me. I drive to work feeling like "well what else am I gonna do?" I guess I should consider myself really lucky, my personality is such that I can always find that thing in my work to lose myself in, rather than dwell on this to the point where I become unproductive.
It's not helped either by the things I have read lately. All these little things add up - I am glad they do, because it reminds me that there's still this strong energy in me looking for a way to get expressed, even though it's kind of infuriating to not feel like it is getting aimed properly.
Something I realize which bothers me, is I have really come full circle with my life, my personality in a lot of ways. I feel like i have lost my crowd, my place, in my day-to-day life. I am not any longer "where I belong," or rather, I have forgotten how to make that happen. I have had some periods of my life where that was all figured out, and of course I took it for granted (as people do) but it generally filled me with some proper happiness, even if other things in my life weren't quite so well-lined-up. I feel like it's gone now, in so many respects in my life - it makes me feel cut off, distant, something. Since I was quite a loner growing up, it's kind of a natural place for me to be, and so I can handle it - but I do like to think that someday in the future I could realize how to realign my life that way. It's not something you can plan, exactly, it's something that you find, maybe you are naturally drawn to it - or maybe I am just naturally best at operating on my own, in this way, and that's why I have got here.
The future is odd, a lot of things are kind of up in the air right now. I feel like about a year and a half ago, it had occurred to me that the only way to jar it would be to pack up and start fresh, but that seemed like an extreme measure that I should "know better" than to thrust myself into. The thought of escape is always tempting, but then the notion of stability (though it was always so elusive) seems like the more mature thing to focus on in these times - I already know I will stick with it, but it makes me feel torn more often than I like.
I am glad for these times, these experiences - it is frustrating in that it shakes up my foundations, and can generally put some extra stress on my philosophies "why I do what I do, what's the point" (adding to the everyday stress I already manage) but te thing about being an adult, te important thing, is having your choices and the freedom to do what you will with them, with only yourself to answer to at the end of the day. I guess I feel like I am doing a pretty good job, then.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Sunday, July 06, 2008
DATELINE:No more datelines. Back in Los Angeles.
Ok so .. now we wrap up the trip real nice and quick. Because it is very late and i actually haven't slept at all in way over 24 hours.
So let's see. Thursday, I believe, was the second day of our trip in Dong Xing. A bit mellower than the first, it was a hot-gross-hot day. We got up for breakfast of Dim Sum generously paid for by her friends, then we scooted around town with one of them - he owns a store and is one of the "successful guys" of their group. We saw his store being constructed, their town seems to be all about doing lots of retail business with folks from neighboring Vietnam, I believe. They drove us to the beginning of china's highway, which runs up and down the coast - it actually originates right in their town there, by the water, as marked by a one hundred year old plaque put their by the Dynasty in power at the time (Qing?) It was interesting, but so hot and so bright that we were eager to pile back into the car and find some shelter.
Later that day we visited May's old Grandfather, an super old guy who's hard of hearing AND seeing. It was sad, just a little old guy who sits up alone in his room all day! He is cared for by May's family though, which is good. He still has his wits about him, he was a very smart guy - used to be a Principle of a school, I believe. He could remember some English even after not having thought of it for God Knows how many years... His apartment was incredible, I didn't wanna feel rude and take pictures so I just had to try and snap it with my mind. It's not what one would cal luxurious or something like that, but it eked character in that way only very old people's homes can. Very real and very remniscient of a time long since passed. You look out his window and see all the buildings towering over the neighborhoods, the cranes and construction in the distance, and you get the sense that this guy remembers a very different view from a very different world, from the dame vantage point. He had a big picture of himself from.. geez, he must have been in his twenties, thirties, he looked very dapper, handsome young chinese go-getter...
For dinner we at with May's Brother's inlaws. They were very generous to invite us to their home for dinner - I was impressed by their apartment! It's very weird, the way these neighborhoods are setup. Everyone just lives in these up-and down apartments, I am sure there must be some specific name for it. You walk in, remove your shows in this tight corridor, there are a few motorscooters parked right there (indoors) to protect from theft. You walk upstairs... a lounge. Up another level - someone's bedroom. A couple more levels of bedrooms. At the top is the toilet, balcony, and kitchen, So like 6 or seven flights of this continuously tight ascension. It is definitely cool, but strange after what I am used to! Anyway everyone at dinner was very friendly, I was gracious that they were so hospitable, made me feel very comfortable. They keep saying "we wish we could come to US to visit you as well!! (it's very difficult to get a travel visa, for our country... esp from a place like China..)
May's friends wanted to go clubbing with us that night, after the cameraderie of the previous night - but I had an early flight to Shanghi, and we still had a 3 hr bus ride (was it three? Do i remember anymore?) back to the airport, so after dinner we hustled and caught the bus. On the bus, we had to stop at a border checkpoint (as the town we were leaving borders Vietnam, and they don't want any funny business going on). I got the once over from the MP, he made me dig out my passport as I was the only foreign-looking guy around.. fortunately, the hold-up wasn't very long before we were free to be on our way again, but it did kind of put me in my place a little "i am not the norm here, I am the outsider, and as such that means I represent the unknown and possibly trouble when it comes to Johnny Law..."
We arrived in Nanning, local town of the airport, which was hustling and busy and nuts.. but we were exhausted from a busy day, and had an early flight waiting, so just hit the hay in our tiny apartment for the night.
Next day was Friday the 4th - got up, said bye-bye to May, got on my flight to Shanghai, all by my lonesome. It was a couple of hours past noon when I landed, the plans for the day were a little soupy so I checked into my room (stayed at the Galaxy Inn once again, same place I stayed with May -and our tour group- in Shanghai days earlier). It was far from the airport I'd need to depart from the next day, but then I wanted to go out! I showered, and even though exhausted I tidied up and went out for my last night in Shanghai. Told the Taxi "take me to Nanjing!" (shopping area our tour passed by days earlier, seemed like a happening spot).
I was barely out of the cab when some dude comes up and starts talking to me "hello I am a teacher you like like a nice guy have very nice facial features can i practice english with you??" He seemed sort of annoying but it seemed like it might be a good way to start the trek ad maybe he could lead me to a nice little bar or something, and his overweight middle aged-man energy made me laugh, so I said sure, let's go. He led me to some lame coffee shop/bar with the promise of "stunning views" (he pointed to a sign in the elevator that was trumpeting this, and kept repeating it so may times that it became comical to me "stunning view, very stunning view...") Finally I had to level with him. "Look. Okay we are up several flights, and you can see back into the city quite a bit, so technically it IS a view. But it's NOT stunning. You would not show this view to some girl and get her to swoon, it's merely a NICE view. I mean, there's no city lights on yet. There's a bunch of scaffolding up the side of this nearby building, and a couple of disinterested-looking people sitting in front of that huge concert stage over there, by no means is this a STUNNING VIEW. It's an OKAY view."
He kept mentioning famous players from different popular American sports teams and asking about my hobbies and what sports I liked. I tried to get some data out of him but he just looked fat and sweaty and tired as the conversation wore on, being dodgy. I decided to be a nice foreigner when he started pushing it "can i have one dollar of american money for souvenier? shall we drink a glass of wine to celebrate our new friendship?" I finished my beer and we left, he started in "you want me to take you to get some girls?" It's alright pops I do fine by myself thanks!! STUNNING VIEW.
I walked down back to the plaza and them some local girls started chatting me up. We drank tea and they convinced me to eat hotpot with them - it was fun, they were very friendly and just happy to talk to a white guy I guess (I bought them some tea, so they insisted on buying me dinner). they flagged down a cab for me after (the chick actually RUNS ACROSS THE STREET --IN TRAFFIC-- TO GET ME A CAB!) and they wish me farewell as it swallows me up.
I pointed on my taxi card to the driver that I wanted to go to Xi Tan District, or whatever it was called, I dunno, where the nightblub was I'd visited a few nights earlier - it was friday night and I knew it'd be PACKED. I unloaded from the cab, and didn't recognize where I was but figured I'd scout it it a bit, maybe it would turn up (or something would). As soon as I stepped out, some stripper-club-madame freakin' started to let me have it. "You like girls? You like disco? Come! Come with me! Nice disco this way! Nice Girls! We have girls for you! Dance and strip for you!" No, no, I am okay. She keeps on. And on. I just kept walking forward towards I Don't Know Where to half-humor the pushy madame and half hope she'll get the clue and lemme alone. I had a nice little buzz going and I wasn't feeling confrontational. She followed me all the way to the elevator (I found my club!) and then as the doors closed I was free of her.
The club was-a-happening and the girlies was hot. I was happy to be back, the night was young (just past ten), the place was booming, I loved their style, the music was't bad, and i didn't have to wait ages for a beer! I downed a couple whiskey shots to wet my whistle and started for the dance floor. I snapped a few pics of the setup with my camera, I admired it the other night but left too quick to snap any shots - I wanted to do it justice tonight! I got a few really good ones, I am not kidding this place was all Tron for real. My buzz was good, I was no longer having to deal with the Schoolteacher Guy or the Strip Club Madame, I was having fun, then one of the bouncer apes puts his mitts on me, gives me a look like "we don't like you taking pictures in here, wait for one second please.." I didn't know what to expect next - I have been kicked out of clubs by Monkeys before (more than a few times), it's kind of an international vibe. I wasn't doing anything, everybody had cameras, anyway I took the chance and disappeared into the crowd. Then I sought some solace at Our Friend Mister Toilet for a couple of minutes in hopes that they'd forget about it. Well, this place was dark, and really packed, but I was also one of like 5 white people in the whole joint, so I knew comeuppance couldn't be too far behind. A good bit of time had passed, but by now my mode had switched from "good time guy" to "radar detector" so I decided to quite while I was ahead - besides, I needed to be up in a few hours for my flight. Anyway it had ups and downs but it was still a very cool night.
Okay! I am wrapping up now. I swear. So now here's where things get a weird. So.. I woke up today, which was Saturday, July 5 - but, just in China, not for several hours in the West yet. I got up and got my stuff ready, showered, called my girl to say byebye, checked out, hurridly ran out into the HOT THICK SHITTY SHITTY HEAT to the bus parked just outside for my ride back to the (farther away) airport, sat down, okay relax, we got an hour and a half ride in this thing now. Except.. shit, why does my ass hurt? Why does it hurt to sit? Oh what the fuck is it NOW?
I fidgeted uncomfortably on the bus, shifting my weight continuously back and forth for that next 1.5 hours. I looked out the window into the hot hazy day as Shanghai spread open before me, as we rifled thru traffic and then down the freeway. I had been getting eyefuls of Shanghai before, but today was the first time I could freely and truly see it for what it really was, a giant endless HULK of a thing, just spreading and towering and growing out in every direction, out and up, I mean in LA you see the occasional giant crane here or sandblasted building there, and granted on this China trip I'd seen a good excessive amount of 'em in all the little burgeoning cities we'd hectically drifted through, but today, THIS took the cake, it was like all of that times another 750, plus maybe a few more zeroes.. just big, TONS OF cranes, thousands of them, huge crazy buildings going up everywhere as far as the eye could see into the distance in almost every direction. It was endless, it was madness, it was exciting, it made me want to go and build little endless complicated cities of my own, blinking with little "plane don't crash into me!" blink lights and weird neon ads with confoundingly misused English Characters.. Yeah, Shanghai was something else, I tell ya what.
Got to the terminal on time, checked my bag, tried to take a shit - hmmm nothing doing, sit and wait in the stuff gate with all the other folks. Hurts to sit on this bench, I lay across three seats and was a bit less uncomfortable. Damn when does the freakin' plane BOARD already! Weren't we supposed to be on that thing like 45 min ago? So stuffy in here and that damned Brazilian girl is clanging around on those stupid lighty-rollerskates so I can't relax...
Finally, we board, one hour late. My seat is the very back of the plane, sharing the wall with the bathroom. Everytime someone flushes the toilet, I hear the sound of air rushing in to suck out the waste, ad it makes me cringe with it's sudden loud burst, and I think of the poor little girl in Nebraska or whatever whose poor little intestines got sucked out of her body when she was sitting on top of that pool drain which freak-randomly air suctioned her out (and later she died) and it probably sounded like that WHOOSH in the bathroom, and my ass hurts and maybe my guts are getting sucked out also. Awesome. I sat there in that little tight seat shifting and fidgeting for 11 goddamn hours, because it was too uncomfortable to sit to long without that soreness making me insane, i would be awesome if they would just let me lay down in the aisle! (no chance) and HEY LOOK they are playing a movie.. oh. Oh it is Spider-Man 3. Eastern China Airlines LOVES Spider-Man 3. The shittiest of all the Spider-Man movies, and this was the third time I'd seen it on a plane. Ah well, after that they played some chick movies (at least Spider-Man 3 was watchable). If I had half a brain I would've though to put a bunch of movies on the damn 40GB Ipod.. XXXXXXXX.
Anyway 11 hrs. Not as bad as the flight in, though I didn't sleep a wink with the sore ass, but I did manage to plow through the whole entire "Masters of Doom" book in one day (about the id software guys). It was a little cavemany, but interesting to read nonetheless. Finaly - FINALLY we landed back in the states. The last hour was something else. So this was weird, my flight left at 3pm Saturday and now I had arrived at like... NOON Saturday, the same day, and somehow watched a sunset and sunrise over the course of the in-between time. Whatever. Man I have never been so happy to get off of a plane. I launched through customs, changed the rest of the yuan in my wallet for dollars, tried to poop (nope. nope), then hopped on the bus for a bumpy and still uncomfortable, but still relieving ride back. Bus dropped me Downtown, hopped the metro rail to Hollywood, realized I'd got on the PURPLE instead of the RED by accident (it's actually hard to tell, esp. when you've been awake and spacecamping for umpteen bazillion hours... oh thank Christ I wasn't hungover on top of it. Backtracked the subway, got off Hollywood n Vine, got a schwaerma, walked home, did my laundry, saw my jury duty summons waiting for me, threw out the dead flowers, saw the doc and he told me it was roids, soak your ass in warm water and eat this fibre and put these suppositories up your ass. yep, I am old.
Oh and the icing on the cake, I actually cabbed out to the Dr, cabbed back as well (duh), the driver is watching an Armenian Wedding (low-grade) on a little TV in the middle of his dash as he drives. He zooms through a red light taking me back, a car full of extremely angry black people pull up beside him and start screaming, i mean SCREAMING at the dude "What the hell is wrong with you!! You ran that light!! What the hell!! F You!! Get out of your car right now! You get out right now!" And he's yelling back "Yeah F you alright!!F you! Shut up!! F You!!" Armenian wedding video with the blarey music playing on the dash still "F You!!!" I am trying not to spill my coke on the seat. He pulls forward (behind a cop being yelled at by some random dude in the street) and clicks of the Wedding. We drive to Franklin and Bronson in Silence.
Ah, Hollywood.
-----
by the way, it is now 3:30 in the am. I don't know when the last time I actually slept was. Not since waking up in Shanghai at the hotel. I Guess I should go to sleep now. Yeah.
So let's see. Thursday, I believe, was the second day of our trip in Dong Xing. A bit mellower than the first, it was a hot-gross-hot day. We got up for breakfast of Dim Sum generously paid for by her friends, then we scooted around town with one of them - he owns a store and is one of the "successful guys" of their group. We saw his store being constructed, their town seems to be all about doing lots of retail business with folks from neighboring Vietnam, I believe. They drove us to the beginning of china's highway, which runs up and down the coast - it actually originates right in their town there, by the water, as marked by a one hundred year old plaque put their by the Dynasty in power at the time (Qing?) It was interesting, but so hot and so bright that we were eager to pile back into the car and find some shelter.
Later that day we visited May's old Grandfather, an super old guy who's hard of hearing AND seeing. It was sad, just a little old guy who sits up alone in his room all day! He is cared for by May's family though, which is good. He still has his wits about him, he was a very smart guy - used to be a Principle of a school, I believe. He could remember some English even after not having thought of it for God Knows how many years... His apartment was incredible, I didn't wanna feel rude and take pictures so I just had to try and snap it with my mind. It's not what one would cal luxurious or something like that, but it eked character in that way only very old people's homes can. Very real and very remniscient of a time long since passed. You look out his window and see all the buildings towering over the neighborhoods, the cranes and construction in the distance, and you get the sense that this guy remembers a very different view from a very different world, from the dame vantage point. He had a big picture of himself from.. geez, he must have been in his twenties, thirties, he looked very dapper, handsome young chinese go-getter...
For dinner we at with May's Brother's inlaws. They were very generous to invite us to their home for dinner - I was impressed by their apartment! It's very weird, the way these neighborhoods are setup. Everyone just lives in these up-and down apartments, I am sure there must be some specific name for it. You walk in, remove your shows in this tight corridor, there are a few motorscooters parked right there (indoors) to protect from theft. You walk upstairs... a lounge. Up another level - someone's bedroom. A couple more levels of bedrooms. At the top is the toilet, balcony, and kitchen, So like 6 or seven flights of this continuously tight ascension. It is definitely cool, but strange after what I am used to! Anyway everyone at dinner was very friendly, I was gracious that they were so hospitable, made me feel very comfortable. They keep saying "we wish we could come to US to visit you as well!! (it's very difficult to get a travel visa, for our country... esp from a place like China..)
May's friends wanted to go clubbing with us that night, after the cameraderie of the previous night - but I had an early flight to Shanghi, and we still had a 3 hr bus ride (was it three? Do i remember anymore?) back to the airport, so after dinner we hustled and caught the bus. On the bus, we had to stop at a border checkpoint (as the town we were leaving borders Vietnam, and they don't want any funny business going on). I got the once over from the MP, he made me dig out my passport as I was the only foreign-looking guy around.. fortunately, the hold-up wasn't very long before we were free to be on our way again, but it did kind of put me in my place a little "i am not the norm here, I am the outsider, and as such that means I represent the unknown and possibly trouble when it comes to Johnny Law..."
We arrived in Nanning, local town of the airport, which was hustling and busy and nuts.. but we were exhausted from a busy day, and had an early flight waiting, so just hit the hay in our tiny apartment for the night.
Next day was Friday the 4th - got up, said bye-bye to May, got on my flight to Shanghai, all by my lonesome. It was a couple of hours past noon when I landed, the plans for the day were a little soupy so I checked into my room (stayed at the Galaxy Inn once again, same place I stayed with May -and our tour group- in Shanghai days earlier). It was far from the airport I'd need to depart from the next day, but then I wanted to go out! I showered, and even though exhausted I tidied up and went out for my last night in Shanghai. Told the Taxi "take me to Nanjing!" (shopping area our tour passed by days earlier, seemed like a happening spot).
I was barely out of the cab when some dude comes up and starts talking to me "hello I am a teacher you like like a nice guy have very nice facial features can i practice english with you??" He seemed sort of annoying but it seemed like it might be a good way to start the trek ad maybe he could lead me to a nice little bar or something, and his overweight middle aged-man energy made me laugh, so I said sure, let's go. He led me to some lame coffee shop/bar with the promise of "stunning views" (he pointed to a sign in the elevator that was trumpeting this, and kept repeating it so may times that it became comical to me "stunning view, very stunning view...") Finally I had to level with him. "Look. Okay we are up several flights, and you can see back into the city quite a bit, so technically it IS a view. But it's NOT stunning. You would not show this view to some girl and get her to swoon, it's merely a NICE view. I mean, there's no city lights on yet. There's a bunch of scaffolding up the side of this nearby building, and a couple of disinterested-looking people sitting in front of that huge concert stage over there, by no means is this a STUNNING VIEW. It's an OKAY view."
He kept mentioning famous players from different popular American sports teams and asking about my hobbies and what sports I liked. I tried to get some data out of him but he just looked fat and sweaty and tired as the conversation wore on, being dodgy. I decided to be a nice foreigner when he started pushing it "can i have one dollar of american money for souvenier? shall we drink a glass of wine to celebrate our new friendship?" I finished my beer and we left, he started in "you want me to take you to get some girls?" It's alright pops I do fine by myself thanks!! STUNNING VIEW.
I walked down back to the plaza and them some local girls started chatting me up. We drank tea and they convinced me to eat hotpot with them - it was fun, they were very friendly and just happy to talk to a white guy I guess (I bought them some tea, so they insisted on buying me dinner). they flagged down a cab for me after (the chick actually RUNS ACROSS THE STREET --IN TRAFFIC-- TO GET ME A CAB!) and they wish me farewell as it swallows me up.
I pointed on my taxi card to the driver that I wanted to go to Xi Tan District, or whatever it was called, I dunno, where the nightblub was I'd visited a few nights earlier - it was friday night and I knew it'd be PACKED. I unloaded from the cab, and didn't recognize where I was but figured I'd scout it it a bit, maybe it would turn up (or something would). As soon as I stepped out, some stripper-club-madame freakin' started to let me have it. "You like girls? You like disco? Come! Come with me! Nice disco this way! Nice Girls! We have girls for you! Dance and strip for you!" No, no, I am okay. She keeps on. And on. I just kept walking forward towards I Don't Know Where to half-humor the pushy madame and half hope she'll get the clue and lemme alone. I had a nice little buzz going and I wasn't feeling confrontational. She followed me all the way to the elevator (I found my club!) and then as the doors closed I was free of her.
The club was-a-happening and the girlies was hot. I was happy to be back, the night was young (just past ten), the place was booming, I loved their style, the music was't bad, and i didn't have to wait ages for a beer! I downed a couple whiskey shots to wet my whistle and started for the dance floor. I snapped a few pics of the setup with my camera, I admired it the other night but left too quick to snap any shots - I wanted to do it justice tonight! I got a few really good ones, I am not kidding this place was all Tron for real. My buzz was good, I was no longer having to deal with the Schoolteacher Guy or the Strip Club Madame, I was having fun, then one of the bouncer apes puts his mitts on me, gives me a look like "we don't like you taking pictures in here, wait for one second please.." I didn't know what to expect next - I have been kicked out of clubs by Monkeys before (more than a few times), it's kind of an international vibe. I wasn't doing anything, everybody had cameras, anyway I took the chance and disappeared into the crowd. Then I sought some solace at Our Friend Mister Toilet for a couple of minutes in hopes that they'd forget about it. Well, this place was dark, and really packed, but I was also one of like 5 white people in the whole joint, so I knew comeuppance couldn't be too far behind. A good bit of time had passed, but by now my mode had switched from "good time guy" to "radar detector" so I decided to quite while I was ahead - besides, I needed to be up in a few hours for my flight. Anyway it had ups and downs but it was still a very cool night.
Okay! I am wrapping up now. I swear. So now here's where things get a weird. So.. I woke up today, which was Saturday, July 5 - but, just in China, not for several hours in the West yet. I got up and got my stuff ready, showered, called my girl to say byebye, checked out, hurridly ran out into the HOT THICK SHITTY SHITTY HEAT to the bus parked just outside for my ride back to the (farther away) airport, sat down, okay relax, we got an hour and a half ride in this thing now. Except.. shit, why does my ass hurt? Why does it hurt to sit? Oh what the fuck is it NOW?
I fidgeted uncomfortably on the bus, shifting my weight continuously back and forth for that next 1.5 hours. I looked out the window into the hot hazy day as Shanghai spread open before me, as we rifled thru traffic and then down the freeway. I had been getting eyefuls of Shanghai before, but today was the first time I could freely and truly see it for what it really was, a giant endless HULK of a thing, just spreading and towering and growing out in every direction, out and up, I mean in LA you see the occasional giant crane here or sandblasted building there, and granted on this China trip I'd seen a good excessive amount of 'em in all the little burgeoning cities we'd hectically drifted through, but today, THIS took the cake, it was like all of that times another 750, plus maybe a few more zeroes.. just big, TONS OF cranes, thousands of them, huge crazy buildings going up everywhere as far as the eye could see into the distance in almost every direction. It was endless, it was madness, it was exciting, it made me want to go and build little endless complicated cities of my own, blinking with little "plane don't crash into me!" blink lights and weird neon ads with confoundingly misused English Characters.. Yeah, Shanghai was something else, I tell ya what.
Got to the terminal on time, checked my bag, tried to take a shit - hmmm nothing doing, sit and wait in the stuff gate with all the other folks. Hurts to sit on this bench, I lay across three seats and was a bit less uncomfortable. Damn when does the freakin' plane BOARD already! Weren't we supposed to be on that thing like 45 min ago? So stuffy in here and that damned Brazilian girl is clanging around on those stupid lighty-rollerskates so I can't relax...
Finally, we board, one hour late. My seat is the very back of the plane, sharing the wall with the bathroom. Everytime someone flushes the toilet, I hear the sound of air rushing in to suck out the waste, ad it makes me cringe with it's sudden loud burst, and I think of the poor little girl in Nebraska or whatever whose poor little intestines got sucked out of her body when she was sitting on top of that pool drain which freak-randomly air suctioned her out (and later she died) and it probably sounded like that WHOOSH in the bathroom, and my ass hurts and maybe my guts are getting sucked out also. Awesome. I sat there in that little tight seat shifting and fidgeting for 11 goddamn hours, because it was too uncomfortable to sit to long without that soreness making me insane, i would be awesome if they would just let me lay down in the aisle! (no chance) and HEY LOOK they are playing a movie.. oh. Oh it is Spider-Man 3. Eastern China Airlines LOVES Spider-Man 3. The shittiest of all the Spider-Man movies, and this was the third time I'd seen it on a plane. Ah well, after that they played some chick movies (at least Spider-Man 3 was watchable). If I had half a brain I would've though to put a bunch of movies on the damn 40GB Ipod.. XXXXXXXX.
Anyway 11 hrs. Not as bad as the flight in, though I didn't sleep a wink with the sore ass, but I did manage to plow through the whole entire "Masters of Doom" book in one day (about the id software guys). It was a little cavemany, but interesting to read nonetheless. Finaly - FINALLY we landed back in the states. The last hour was something else. So this was weird, my flight left at 3pm Saturday and now I had arrived at like... NOON Saturday, the same day, and somehow watched a sunset and sunrise over the course of the in-between time. Whatever. Man I have never been so happy to get off of a plane. I launched through customs, changed the rest of the yuan in my wallet for dollars, tried to poop (nope. nope), then hopped on the bus for a bumpy and still uncomfortable, but still relieving ride back. Bus dropped me Downtown, hopped the metro rail to Hollywood, realized I'd got on the PURPLE instead of the RED by accident (it's actually hard to tell, esp. when you've been awake and spacecamping for umpteen bazillion hours... oh thank Christ I wasn't hungover on top of it. Backtracked the subway, got off Hollywood n Vine, got a schwaerma, walked home, did my laundry, saw my jury duty summons waiting for me, threw out the dead flowers, saw the doc and he told me it was roids, soak your ass in warm water and eat this fibre and put these suppositories up your ass. yep, I am old.
Oh and the icing on the cake, I actually cabbed out to the Dr, cabbed back as well (duh), the driver is watching an Armenian Wedding (low-grade) on a little TV in the middle of his dash as he drives. He zooms through a red light taking me back, a car full of extremely angry black people pull up beside him and start screaming, i mean SCREAMING at the dude "What the hell is wrong with you!! You ran that light!! What the hell!! F You!! Get out of your car right now! You get out right now!" And he's yelling back "Yeah F you alright!!F you! Shut up!! F You!!" Armenian wedding video with the blarey music playing on the dash still "F You!!!" I am trying not to spill my coke on the seat. He pulls forward (behind a cop being yelled at by some random dude in the street) and clicks of the Wedding. We drive to Franklin and Bronson in Silence.
Ah, Hollywood.
-----
by the way, it is now 3:30 in the am. I don't know when the last time I actually slept was. Not since waking up in Shanghai at the hotel. I Guess I should go to sleep now. Yeah.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
DATELINE:DONGXING
Yesterday was our first full day in May's hometown. We slept in a little late, went out to get a phonecard, then met her brother and his little group for some lunch (wontons). After that May and I hopped on his motorscooter with him, for a quick ride to the sidewalk beside the river/Vietnam border, where we sat under an umbrella and ate peanuts, pumpkin (i think) seeds, ice cream, lychee, and drank beer and smoked. This was very interesting, as you could see long thin (1-man) barges running up and down the river all the while, bringing all the leftover crap from other countries to sell at local markets in China and Viet Nam. You know all those old CRT monitors and Televisions that everyone in the US got rid of when they wanted to upgrade to flatscreens and LCD? This is where they all go! You'd see barges full of nothing but TVs, not joking. Many barges full of old clothes wrapped up in bags. Barges full of rubber tubes for bicycle tires or bundles of car tires - it's very weird to just see huge piles of them being ferried back and forth. May's brother said he'd seen barges filled with old Playstations once in awhile...
After a couple of hours of that, her bro gave us a ride to visit her childhood friend who'd just recently had a baby. In Chinese tradition, Mother and Child are confined to the home for the entire first month following the baby's birth, so we had to go to her place to visit her. Her Baby's Daddy was at the office, so we just visited with her and some of her in-laws. Then got picked up for another crazy motorscooter ride with May's bro Ken to head back to his place (which is the same apartment May lived in from age 11-19) to gather the troops for dinner.
The motorscooter rides are pretty wild. I had never been on a motorcycle before, I assume it's pretty similar. In China you just hop on in a pile of people and hold on for all you're worth, as the rider slips and slides in and out of traffic (auto traffic and pedestrian traffic, simultanerously). Since I am a white guy in a city where I have not seen a SINGLE OTHER WHITE PERSON, at all, I get a lot of stares, it is pretty weird. A lot of the double-take look "huh, is that..?"
We had dinner, a lot of seafood (jellyfish, shrimp, crab soup and some ocean fish) and some chicken and beef and sweet and sour pork (and more beer, and of course smoking). Man yesterday was just a ton fo drinking beer all day, I didn't know what I was in for. May's little cousin (7 yrs old) was very cute, she loves seafood. She kept clamoring to eat the eyeballs out of the fish... We retired back at the family's house afterwards, then it was off to meet some of May's old buddies from elementary school at a Karaoke bar.
The bar was alright, they cordon you off into individual rooms and have three monitors ("the mommy, the daddy, and the baby monitor") showing pics of supermodels while remixes of USA and Chinese pop music play. There's plates of fruit, spicy cucumbers, nuts and beef sit interspersed with shot glasses and a seemingly endless supply of beercans. The dudes (salarymen) were sitting there, playing rock-paper-scissors (drinking version) and Poker. They have a dice game called "bluffing" which they sucked me in to, i got pretty good at it - but as i drank more, I got shittier at it. The guys were cool but the game made us all get pretty competetive. Man, at that point I was really wishing I had not been drinking booze all day (I had no idea what I was in for!) Fortunately I was able to keep it together, and as it was only beer, I didn't have to worry about getting shitfaced..
After a couple of hours of that, her bro gave us a ride to visit her childhood friend who'd just recently had a baby. In Chinese tradition, Mother and Child are confined to the home for the entire first month following the baby's birth, so we had to go to her place to visit her. Her Baby's Daddy was at the office, so we just visited with her and some of her in-laws. Then got picked up for another crazy motorscooter ride with May's bro Ken to head back to his place (which is the same apartment May lived in from age 11-19) to gather the troops for dinner.
The motorscooter rides are pretty wild. I had never been on a motorcycle before, I assume it's pretty similar. In China you just hop on in a pile of people and hold on for all you're worth, as the rider slips and slides in and out of traffic (auto traffic and pedestrian traffic, simultanerously). Since I am a white guy in a city where I have not seen a SINGLE OTHER WHITE PERSON, at all, I get a lot of stares, it is pretty weird. A lot of the double-take look "huh, is that..?"
We had dinner, a lot of seafood (jellyfish, shrimp, crab soup and some ocean fish) and some chicken and beef and sweet and sour pork (and more beer, and of course smoking). Man yesterday was just a ton fo drinking beer all day, I didn't know what I was in for. May's little cousin (7 yrs old) was very cute, she loves seafood. She kept clamoring to eat the eyeballs out of the fish... We retired back at the family's house afterwards, then it was off to meet some of May's old buddies from elementary school at a Karaoke bar.
The bar was alright, they cordon you off into individual rooms and have three monitors ("the mommy, the daddy, and the baby monitor") showing pics of supermodels while remixes of USA and Chinese pop music play. There's plates of fruit, spicy cucumbers, nuts and beef sit interspersed with shot glasses and a seemingly endless supply of beercans. The dudes (salarymen) were sitting there, playing rock-paper-scissors (drinking version) and Poker. They have a dice game called "bluffing" which they sucked me in to, i got pretty good at it - but as i drank more, I got shittier at it. The guys were cool but the game made us all get pretty competetive. Man, at that point I was really wishing I had not been drinking booze all day (I had no idea what I was in for!) Fortunately I was able to keep it together, and as it was only beer, I didn't have to worry about getting shitfaced..
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
brodelay
what's up, game fiends. I am still on vacation, carousing through the weird bizarre land of China, but thought I would take a few minutes and draft an update to my game-design blog, or whatever one would call this trainwreck, really.
So of course I am quite out of touch with the world of game news these days - hell, out of touch with much WORLD news for that matter - but i do dip in here and there when I can get a moment, just to make sure it's not all gone the way of the dodo. You know, just in case. It sounds like things have been extremely busy in my absence - what's this, talk on an Xbox 360 price cut? Mega Man 9 is a throwback/retro-looking title? Castlevania fighter, and of course the announcement of Diablo 3 for next March (sigh, wish they could push that business back a little further, oh well hmm we will see, won't we. Go Fall!!!) And lots of news regarding all the millions of rock n roll games that seem to be all the rage with the kids these days. Lucasarts layoffs (yeah, more). I am sure there's a bunch of other stuff going on, as the typical summer malaise kicks into videogameland (with no big releases planned for some time). Otherwise, the pre-E3 hysteria sort of generally takes hold and everyone gets ready to be wowed and confused and all fo that, really.
So, Mega Man 9. This certainly looks interesting - can I say that "I called it?" Well maybe I didn't mention it, or figure on this particular instance, but it certainly was the type of very-specific idea I have had going on in myhead for some time, to be honest. I am just a little surprised Capcom was the one to go ahead and bite this time, though I can't say it should come as the hugest of shocks - that would be reserved for a follow-up 8-Bit Castlevania or Ninja Gaiden. Anyway I haven't seen more than the most momentary of screenshots of this thing, but the mind races with possibility. It should be interesting to see how it turns out and all of that, and what the fallout is that ensues. Anyway, lest the world should forget how well New Super Mario Bros. performed on the DS..
In honor of this, I booted up a couple of older MM games. Back in the day, I played (a LOT) through the first 4, by that point I had pretty much had enough. So the last couple of days I checked out 5 and 6 (NES) for the first time in ages and started trying to play through them in earnest, a little. Man. Those games are hard. Not super-duper hard, but they are a bit punishing compared to the ease with which I remember having swept through the earlier ones. Nice looking, each one gets progressively more technically inspiring - though honestly, I will always maintain that Mega Man peaked, for me, with Number Two. It was one of those cases where the game truly oozed with love and devotion, and all the parts gelled. The later ones were certainly cool but it was really getting to feel like a paint-by-the-numbers affair and "enough already," and just not anywhere near as captivating. I mean, if nothing else, none of them just sounded as AWESOME as Two...
So of course I am quite out of touch with the world of game news these days - hell, out of touch with much WORLD news for that matter - but i do dip in here and there when I can get a moment, just to make sure it's not all gone the way of the dodo. You know, just in case. It sounds like things have been extremely busy in my absence - what's this, talk on an Xbox 360 price cut? Mega Man 9 is a throwback/retro-looking title? Castlevania fighter, and of course the announcement of Diablo 3 for next March (sigh, wish they could push that business back a little further, oh well hmm we will see, won't we. Go Fall!!!) And lots of news regarding all the millions of rock n roll games that seem to be all the rage with the kids these days. Lucasarts layoffs (yeah, more). I am sure there's a bunch of other stuff going on, as the typical summer malaise kicks into videogameland (with no big releases planned for some time). Otherwise, the pre-E3 hysteria sort of generally takes hold and everyone gets ready to be wowed and confused and all fo that, really.
So, Mega Man 9. This certainly looks interesting - can I say that "I called it?" Well maybe I didn't mention it, or figure on this particular instance, but it certainly was the type of very-specific idea I have had going on in myhead for some time, to be honest. I am just a little surprised Capcom was the one to go ahead and bite this time, though I can't say it should come as the hugest of shocks - that would be reserved for a follow-up 8-Bit Castlevania or Ninja Gaiden. Anyway I haven't seen more than the most momentary of screenshots of this thing, but the mind races with possibility. It should be interesting to see how it turns out and all of that, and what the fallout is that ensues. Anyway, lest the world should forget how well New Super Mario Bros. performed on the DS..
In honor of this, I booted up a couple of older MM games. Back in the day, I played (a LOT) through the first 4, by that point I had pretty much had enough. So the last couple of days I checked out 5 and 6 (NES) for the first time in ages and started trying to play through them in earnest, a little. Man. Those games are hard. Not super-duper hard, but they are a bit punishing compared to the ease with which I remember having swept through the earlier ones. Nice looking, each one gets progressively more technically inspiring - though honestly, I will always maintain that Mega Man peaked, for me, with Number Two. It was one of those cases where the game truly oozed with love and devotion, and all the parts gelled. The later ones were certainly cool but it was really getting to feel like a paint-by-the-numbers affair and "enough already," and just not anywhere near as captivating. I mean, if nothing else, none of them just sounded as AWESOME as Two...
DATELINE: DONGXING (May's Hometown)
Well, another day, another hotel room. May swears this one smells kind of gross though. Hell at this point, everything everywhere smells kind of funny to me actually (nah it ain't bad).
Well, yesterday was a long, long day - a day full of travel, and sitting, and waiting. We got up early to catch a flight from Shanghai to Nanning (airport in Guangxi province) - woke up and hopped in a cab, but we messed up and registered for our flight 5 minutes later than we ought to have (7am). Unfortnuately, the next flight to this province wasn't for EIGHT HOURS, so we had to sit in the airport lobby and gate, and just chill till then. Then a 2.5 hour flight (delayed another half hour, also) and then a 3 hr busride - we got to our hotel at LAST just after 11:30pm. So yeah, my butt is sore from sitting - but then, I have gotten quit egood at that, over the years.
This province, Dongxing, is very interesting. Reminds me of Xi'An in some ways - there's TONS of land development going on here. After we first landed and drove to the bus terminal, we'd pass endless rows of construction machinery, all lined up in front of infinite plazas. The skyline was always dotted with cranes erecting buildings, apartment and business. It looks like there's tons of area to fill and CONSTANT DEVELOPMENT. It's pretty amazing. We rushed to eat some dinner at a local joint and then hustle to the bus terminal, didn't wanna miss another trip! We sat and waited once there, a monitor was playing advisory cartoons trying to inspire people to drive safe. The cartoons were of horrible quality, like if some retarded 6th grader got his hands on 3D Studio Max for the first time 3 months ago and was still trying to learn it. I thought it was humorous how we'd see cartoons of buses running off cliffs and crashing into lakes and etc, before having a dangerous bus trip of our own (it was super-late at night, so not much traffic, fortunately).
This leg of the tour is certainly different, markedly, than the previous parts. It's way more rustic, I guess one would say, out here - also I am pretty much the only white person in town, anywhere! I get stared at a lot. May's brother and his group met us at the bus drop-off last night, we deposited our belongings in the hotel and then walked up the street to a little strip of stores. In front of them on the sidewalk, vendors would setup little roofed-off areas filled with little short plastic chairs and tables, right at the curb they'd set up grills and coolers filled with booze. We sat and ate BBQ pork and chicken and calamari and corn-on-the-cob, and drank a bunch of booze while playing the drinking chinese version of "rock paper scissors." The group was very friendly and it was fun to hang out and finally see people in a non-touristy representation. Wish I took my camera and shot some pics, perhaps we'll do the same thing tonight!
It's just past 9am local time, I rolled out of bed a little while ago, we'll meet a bunch of may's other friends in a couple of hours. NO ONE speaks any English at all over here, except hello or thank you, and I am practicing the local dialect versions of the same. It's pretty difficult for a newb like me to speak chinese, the tones are very delicate.. I am practicing though. Tomorrow will be interesting, I gotta get up super-early to repeat all of yesterday's traveling in reverse and return to shanghai (hopefully, without all the extra 8 hours of waiting!) and make my way through a good deal of it on my own, as the lady and I will part company at that point, for the remainder of the trip. Should be interesting!
RANDOM STUFF - if I haven't mentioned it before, (and I know I have), drivers in china are INSANE. Lanes, street signs, that sort of thing seem to be treated more as a suggustion than anyhting else. Automobiles seem to entrust that they can somehow perturb the laws of physics to fit in between one another. Everybody is constantly honking and beeping at one another, and motorscooters, motorcycles, and bicycles (and pedestrians) are constantly squeezing thru all the moving negative space between the traffic - it is a sight to behold. The typical motorscooter will have a dude on the front and his lady sitting side-saddle behind him with her legs just hanging off to one side as he careens through the traffic. In this current province, I notice a lot of motorcycle setups where three (or FOUR) dudes will squeeze onto a single motorcycle seat. I need to take some pics of this stuff - it is just amazing. I try to imagine any of this stuff in the States, the cops would have a field day!!
Trying my best to maintain my digestive prowess. Can't drink anything with ice in it usually, as it's not purified. That means I drink a lot of booze or warm soda. I can't wait to get home and just chug bottles of water! I am not gonna drink any soft drinks for like 4 months after this trip, I guess..
It's amazing, the clash between old and new that one witnesses out here. Lots of little old/poor people will still be carrying buckets of things supported by a stick held on their back (across their shoulders), justlike you'd have pictured them doing hundreds of years ago. You see this everyday, everywhere, no matter how modern the city. There's a constant juxtaposition of old and new everywhere, even in a super-built-up area like Shanghai. Round a corner of a modern shopping plaza, and you'll find a tight back alley filled with dudes drinking and smoking and hanging laundry on the decrepit-looking facades on their apartment buildings, playing mahjhong in little smoke-filled dens. It's quite bizarre.
The trip has been outrageous, though I do look forward to getting home and settling back into my routine - I feel that there's a tremendous backlog of things waiting for me to deal with! I am psyched to get back to "normal food" as well, hahaha... Just a few more days! Anyway, I have a bunch of pics to post, but that won't happen for some time yet. May put a few up on her myspace page, check them out to tide over in the meantime.
Well, yesterday was a long, long day - a day full of travel, and sitting, and waiting. We got up early to catch a flight from Shanghai to Nanning (airport in Guangxi province) - woke up and hopped in a cab, but we messed up and registered for our flight 5 minutes later than we ought to have (7am). Unfortnuately, the next flight to this province wasn't for EIGHT HOURS, so we had to sit in the airport lobby and gate, and just chill till then. Then a 2.5 hour flight (delayed another half hour, also) and then a 3 hr busride - we got to our hotel at LAST just after 11:30pm. So yeah, my butt is sore from sitting - but then, I have gotten quit egood at that, over the years.
This province, Dongxing, is very interesting. Reminds me of Xi'An in some ways - there's TONS of land development going on here. After we first landed and drove to the bus terminal, we'd pass endless rows of construction machinery, all lined up in front of infinite plazas. The skyline was always dotted with cranes erecting buildings, apartment and business. It looks like there's tons of area to fill and CONSTANT DEVELOPMENT. It's pretty amazing. We rushed to eat some dinner at a local joint and then hustle to the bus terminal, didn't wanna miss another trip! We sat and waited once there, a monitor was playing advisory cartoons trying to inspire people to drive safe. The cartoons were of horrible quality, like if some retarded 6th grader got his hands on 3D Studio Max for the first time 3 months ago and was still trying to learn it. I thought it was humorous how we'd see cartoons of buses running off cliffs and crashing into lakes and etc, before having a dangerous bus trip of our own (it was super-late at night, so not much traffic, fortunately).
This leg of the tour is certainly different, markedly, than the previous parts. It's way more rustic, I guess one would say, out here - also I am pretty much the only white person in town, anywhere! I get stared at a lot. May's brother and his group met us at the bus drop-off last night, we deposited our belongings in the hotel and then walked up the street to a little strip of stores. In front of them on the sidewalk, vendors would setup little roofed-off areas filled with little short plastic chairs and tables, right at the curb they'd set up grills and coolers filled with booze. We sat and ate BBQ pork and chicken and calamari and corn-on-the-cob, and drank a bunch of booze while playing the drinking chinese version of "rock paper scissors." The group was very friendly and it was fun to hang out and finally see people in a non-touristy representation. Wish I took my camera and shot some pics, perhaps we'll do the same thing tonight!
It's just past 9am local time, I rolled out of bed a little while ago, we'll meet a bunch of may's other friends in a couple of hours. NO ONE speaks any English at all over here, except hello or thank you, and I am practicing the local dialect versions of the same. It's pretty difficult for a newb like me to speak chinese, the tones are very delicate.. I am practicing though. Tomorrow will be interesting, I gotta get up super-early to repeat all of yesterday's traveling in reverse and return to shanghai (hopefully, without all the extra 8 hours of waiting!) and make my way through a good deal of it on my own, as the lady and I will part company at that point, for the remainder of the trip. Should be interesting!
RANDOM STUFF - if I haven't mentioned it before, (and I know I have), drivers in china are INSANE. Lanes, street signs, that sort of thing seem to be treated more as a suggustion than anyhting else. Automobiles seem to entrust that they can somehow perturb the laws of physics to fit in between one another. Everybody is constantly honking and beeping at one another, and motorscooters, motorcycles, and bicycles (and pedestrians) are constantly squeezing thru all the moving negative space between the traffic - it is a sight to behold. The typical motorscooter will have a dude on the front and his lady sitting side-saddle behind him with her legs just hanging off to one side as he careens through the traffic. In this current province, I notice a lot of motorcycle setups where three (or FOUR) dudes will squeeze onto a single motorcycle seat. I need to take some pics of this stuff - it is just amazing. I try to imagine any of this stuff in the States, the cops would have a field day!!
Trying my best to maintain my digestive prowess. Can't drink anything with ice in it usually, as it's not purified. That means I drink a lot of booze or warm soda. I can't wait to get home and just chug bottles of water! I am not gonna drink any soft drinks for like 4 months after this trip, I guess..
It's amazing, the clash between old and new that one witnesses out here. Lots of little old/poor people will still be carrying buckets of things supported by a stick held on their back (across their shoulders), justlike you'd have pictured them doing hundreds of years ago. You see this everyday, everywhere, no matter how modern the city. There's a constant juxtaposition of old and new everywhere, even in a super-built-up area like Shanghai. Round a corner of a modern shopping plaza, and you'll find a tight back alley filled with dudes drinking and smoking and hanging laundry on the decrepit-looking facades on their apartment buildings, playing mahjhong in little smoke-filled dens. It's quite bizarre.
The trip has been outrageous, though I do look forward to getting home and settling back into my routine - I feel that there's a tremendous backlog of things waiting for me to deal with! I am psyched to get back to "normal food" as well, hahaha... Just a few more days! Anyway, I have a bunch of pics to post, but that won't happen for some time yet. May put a few up on her myspace page, check them out to tide over in the meantime.
Monday, June 30, 2008
DATELINE:SHANGHAI - end of the Official China Tour
Yeah, so today was the final day of our official tour of China. I’ll still be lingering for the rest of the week, as we depart for May’s hometown Dongxing, in Guangxi tomorrow (bright an’ early!! Flight is like 7am) Anyway today we got up, showered and headed out for the day’s duties. After visiting a Silk factory (May and I sat out on the bus, and read our books) our group checked out the Yu Garden, a nice little nature park – more of the same temple-y looking stuff we’d seen, smooshed into the middle of a very modern city. The place was very ornate, very beautiful, with its ponds of fat-looking fish that kept sticking their heads above water in hopes of getting some delectable morsels (they were not too lucky, today). It was a gross, rainy grey day, so not too psyched to be trodding about it in it too much, but it did sort of enhance the mood of the places we visited (made for some cool looking photography, at least!) After this, passed through some crazy bustling marketplace selling all manner of items. Clothes, TShirts, little flashy wheel-things you could put in your shoes, lots of crazy touristy junk and trinkets. We grabbed our final “official tour meal” as a group, it was nothing extraordinary but definitely one of the better we’ve eaten. Then headed out to get a mini-cruise around the river that runs through the town, it kinda stunk since it was raining so it wasn’t very conducive to sitting upstairs in the open-air viewing area, also the city was shrouded in fogginess. Add to this, the general exhaustion we were collectively feeling – the cruise wrapped up and we returned to the hotel, our group dwindled a bit and we bade our tour guide fairwell.
Later that night a few of our group went out for dinner at a local place, we had a very good meal (I got some, err, interesting pictures of the menu items with my camera). We decided to forego eating Worms or Dogmeat, and went for Bees instead. Yep, we ate fried bees! They tasted like Tater Tots. Headed back to the hotel after, i had a couple of drinks at the club inside and tried to chat it up with the locals (their limited English was much better than my severely limited Chinese). I met a girl who told me she was the Devil.. aren't they all though? I got back with my group for a farewell drink, then we said goodbye as we parted ways and headed for bed.
Now it is Tuesday morning, I am sitting at Cheer Way in the airport waiting for our flight outta Shanghai. I am sad to leave this place, Shangha is a cool and interesting place - other than recounting the events "then we did this, then we did that" I have much to say about the people and environment here, more on that later..
Later that night a few of our group went out for dinner at a local place, we had a very good meal (I got some, err, interesting pictures of the menu items with my camera). We decided to forego eating Worms or Dogmeat, and went for Bees instead. Yep, we ate fried bees! They tasted like Tater Tots. Headed back to the hotel after, i had a couple of drinks at the club inside and tried to chat it up with the locals (their limited English was much better than my severely limited Chinese). I met a girl who told me she was the Devil.. aren't they all though? I got back with my group for a farewell drink, then we said goodbye as we parted ways and headed for bed.
Now it is Tuesday morning, I am sitting at Cheer Way in the airport waiting for our flight outta Shanghai. I am sad to leave this place, Shangha is a cool and interesting place - other than recounting the events "then we did this, then we did that" I have much to say about the people and environment here, more on that later..
DATELINE:SHANGHAI - China's Modern Metropolis
It is currently Sunday night, here’s the recap of the past two days. Saturday, June 28 We awoke at our hotel in Guilin, 2nd day there. Hopped in the bus (a little late!) and motored down to the riverboat tour, Li River – a 4-hour tour (no Gilligan’s Island Jokes please). The boat ride was quite pleasant, very mellow. It was a dinner vessel, not what you’d call fancy of course – they managed to squeeze a good few tour groups per boat, dining hall downstairs and observation deck (open air) upstairs. The weather was considerate, neither rainy nor hot and humid – it was just right, helped on by the breeze. Fortunately not excessively mosquito-y either (though my feet did get a good bit chomped up). We loaded up, sat downstairs for a spot of the tea, then as the tour began we moved upstairs to enjoy the air and the view. Not too too much to look at (more of the same – just a lot of bizarre hill formations and things, which seem to be the main draw) but what there was, was fine. I still do appreciate the surreal landscape – it was nice, and relaxing, though it was nice once the boat ride ended and we got back to land since there was a bit of that waiting feeling sort of permeating the whole thing. For me, the highlight was the “hookers” that would be in the water (no, not those kind of hookers!) on little bamboo rafts, or whatever.. as the tour boats passed by, they’d ride up alongside and literally hook right up to our boat, then the two riders would climb up to the very-thin outer edge of the boat and knock on the windows to get passenger attention and hawk their wares (the usual merch.. little statues of fisherman, lowgrade jewelry boxes, et cetera). It might not sound like much on paper, but it was something to see – those guys are nuts! They’d do their business, then dispatch and head to the next vessel. Their little raft would be tiny (maybe less than 20 feet long, and 4 feet across – and looking like it was always nearly about to collapse and fall in the water anyway, their feet would always be under the water). Nuts, I tell ya.
The ship’s crew would cook our meal at the back of the boat (outside), and after eating and the ride wrapped up, we sleepily exited into the Guilin town of Yangshou (pronounced “yahn-soo”) to check into our next hotel. We walked through a whole downtown tourist district, which was as happening as any we’d seen before (in other words, quite!) to get to the hotel. Checked in, we unloaded our crap, then as my girlfriend passed out I headed back to town (I saw a little local pizza place there, and being a little homesick for American-style grub I couldn’t resist!) They were playing some really chill, mellow music and there was a nice seat right on the sidewalk (AND they were serving some good looking selection of liquors to boot) so I said thanks very much and sat down with my book and ate some ‘za and watched the crowd for a few hours. It was really nice, really relaxing! After a couple of hours of that, and being harassed by the occasional local merchants (no thanks = “boo-ya”) I headed back to the hotel for some dinner (as usual, no big deal) and plans to go out and see what the local flavor enjoy for their Saturday night. Well, I kinda passed out hard on the pillow after my dinner, and we had to be up early the next day for our flight to Shanghai..
That brings us to today. We got up after 6am, shower and etc – something was leaking in the bathroom so as the water ran it got smellier (ewwww) so we kinda hustled. The bus dropped us off at the Guilin Airport, we boarded and flew to Shanghai. Ate lunch on the plane (some beef w/ rice, a couple of veggies, a piece of bread, some warm soda). Disembarked off the plane, walked outside to our waiting bus – we walked by a McD’s, my heart sang (in a gross way, I suppose) but there was no time to sidetrack so we boarded the bus and began our new phase of the journey.. yes, again.
We got over to the Shanghai Ancient History museum, to hang out for a couple of hours, check out the exhibits. Place was packed, mid-day – we waited a good 20 minutes to get in, they ran every entrant thru a metal detector (like entering an airport!) even made us through away liquids. Whatever.. anyway it was pretty hot and gross outside, so it was nice to get in there. But honestly the museum didn’t do much for me, particularly at this point in the trip. I can be a bit of a museum nerd, under certain conditions (well, almost never, I suppose) but the ancient history, while interesting, is not something I care much for browsing in person – I’m happy enough to read about it and scan some images, old-ass vases just get extremely redundant to me. Yeah, I know I sound like an uncultured Philistine (there’s irony in there, see?) but to be fair I did well as an art history (minor) student, I just have my preferences and this period doesn’t do much for me. It’s repetitive. It’s repetitive. Ancient history is repetitive. We looked at some interesting calligraphy and older Chinese brushwork thru the different dynasties, of course that’s way newer than the ancient vases and pots/pans/etc – again, this stuff doesn’t do much for me either. The modern world considers it to be fairly elegant and classy, I suppose, but for me – it’s alright, a lot of it looks rushed and unfinished and redundant. Once in awhile you’ll find a piece that is brilliant with detail, with rhythm, and I can’t argue with that for a second. But a lot of it just feels simple and cluttery. Hey, I am allowed to have an opinion! My impressions are that of a spoiled modern-day student, with exposure to several periods and a hugely vast vantage point. Then again, what I’d call “Art” which comes outta me, most would consider some kind of trendy lackluster boring prostitution. This is another discussion for another time, probably.
We left the museum, ate another dinner (started out alright, got kinda gross) and walked over to a huge shopping area, Nanjing Road. Kind of like the 3rd Street Promenade or Newbury Street of Shanghai, sorrrrt of. Lots of malls and overpriced boutiques and all sorts of crap… lots of cute girls. Didn’t get to hang out too much, but it had a little of that Harajuku feel, I guess, is the closest way to describe it. After this, we caught another theater show, the final of the trip – we were all a little burned out on these by now, but whatever, it’s Shanghai, let’s indulge them I suppose (though I think many of us would have been happy enough to lounge around the shopping district and enjoy the local flavor instead). The “acrobat show” did turn out to be worthwhile after all, they truly threw in “everything but the kitchen sink…” It was remarkable, I wish I could have got some pictures for posterity. We had more of the “folding people” we’d seen the night before (the folks who could contort their bodies into outrageous positions, while balancing atop one another) – then a bunch of fellows dressed in suits and top hats doing crazy juggling/catching stunts.. a couple of body builders doing wild feats of strength and balance – girls spinning plates on poles, while moving around an climbing one another – girls balancing and climbing while bicycle riding – a magician (with birds, sword-through-the-box, sleight-of-hand, etc) – a cheesy laser light show to techno music, and then the finale was one of those giant caged domes with 5 motorcycle stunt riders careening around inside the small enclosed area. Yeah, it was pretty impressive!
After this our group retired to the hotel, a few of us young’uns were itching to investigate the night life of this crazy city however. We got a tip from the concierge to solicit the Xin Tian Di district, hopped in a cab, and then walked around, eventually we followed a German dude who was in turn being led into a disco by some slutty looking Asian chicks on his arm (yeah, very wholesome, I know, what d’ya want). But it worked, we found a cool little spot, the music was booming and the layout of the place was pretty neat. It looked kind of like a lair from Tron or something, very angular and heavy on the shiny black plastic/bright neon panels. It was rather early, on a Sunday night, so not very wild inside, but there was definitely some energy and a couple of maniacs on the dance floor. We had a round of drinks and I got to exert some energy (yeah, I actually had some left!) and did my usual routine, it had been awhile and it felt good to let loose. The drinks were quite expensive, it was fortunate that I was the only boozer in the crew otherwise it would have been damaging on my wallet! Anyway half of our crowd was quite young and not used to such atmosphere, and everybody was generally quite beat from the trip at large, so we just hung out for a spell and then cabbed back home to our hotel for some shuteye. I was happy to find another club right here in our hotel, though the music booming out of it was quite large and invigorating, the interior was the biggest of no-no’s (that is, utterly dead) so I immediately turned around, marched upstairs and passed out in bed, next to my sweetheart.
The ship’s crew would cook our meal at the back of the boat (outside), and after eating and the ride wrapped up, we sleepily exited into the Guilin town of Yangshou (pronounced “yahn-soo”) to check into our next hotel. We walked through a whole downtown tourist district, which was as happening as any we’d seen before (in other words, quite!) to get to the hotel. Checked in, we unloaded our crap, then as my girlfriend passed out I headed back to town (I saw a little local pizza place there, and being a little homesick for American-style grub I couldn’t resist!) They were playing some really chill, mellow music and there was a nice seat right on the sidewalk (AND they were serving some good looking selection of liquors to boot) so I said thanks very much and sat down with my book and ate some ‘za and watched the crowd for a few hours. It was really nice, really relaxing! After a couple of hours of that, and being harassed by the occasional local merchants (no thanks = “boo-ya”) I headed back to the hotel for some dinner (as usual, no big deal) and plans to go out and see what the local flavor enjoy for their Saturday night. Well, I kinda passed out hard on the pillow after my dinner, and we had to be up early the next day for our flight to Shanghai..
That brings us to today. We got up after 6am, shower and etc – something was leaking in the bathroom so as the water ran it got smellier (ewwww) so we kinda hustled. The bus dropped us off at the Guilin Airport, we boarded and flew to Shanghai. Ate lunch on the plane (some beef w/ rice, a couple of veggies, a piece of bread, some warm soda). Disembarked off the plane, walked outside to our waiting bus – we walked by a McD’s, my heart sang (in a gross way, I suppose) but there was no time to sidetrack so we boarded the bus and began our new phase of the journey.. yes, again.
We got over to the Shanghai Ancient History museum, to hang out for a couple of hours, check out the exhibits. Place was packed, mid-day – we waited a good 20 minutes to get in, they ran every entrant thru a metal detector (like entering an airport!) even made us through away liquids. Whatever.. anyway it was pretty hot and gross outside, so it was nice to get in there. But honestly the museum didn’t do much for me, particularly at this point in the trip. I can be a bit of a museum nerd, under certain conditions (well, almost never, I suppose) but the ancient history, while interesting, is not something I care much for browsing in person – I’m happy enough to read about it and scan some images, old-ass vases just get extremely redundant to me. Yeah, I know I sound like an uncultured Philistine (there’s irony in there, see?) but to be fair I did well as an art history (minor) student, I just have my preferences and this period doesn’t do much for me. It’s repetitive. It’s repetitive. Ancient history is repetitive. We looked at some interesting calligraphy and older Chinese brushwork thru the different dynasties, of course that’s way newer than the ancient vases and pots/pans/etc – again, this stuff doesn’t do much for me either. The modern world considers it to be fairly elegant and classy, I suppose, but for me – it’s alright, a lot of it looks rushed and unfinished and redundant. Once in awhile you’ll find a piece that is brilliant with detail, with rhythm, and I can’t argue with that for a second. But a lot of it just feels simple and cluttery. Hey, I am allowed to have an opinion! My impressions are that of a spoiled modern-day student, with exposure to several periods and a hugely vast vantage point. Then again, what I’d call “Art” which comes outta me, most would consider some kind of trendy lackluster boring prostitution. This is another discussion for another time, probably.
We left the museum, ate another dinner (started out alright, got kinda gross) and walked over to a huge shopping area, Nanjing Road. Kind of like the 3rd Street Promenade or Newbury Street of Shanghai, sorrrrt of. Lots of malls and overpriced boutiques and all sorts of crap… lots of cute girls. Didn’t get to hang out too much, but it had a little of that Harajuku feel, I guess, is the closest way to describe it. After this, we caught another theater show, the final of the trip – we were all a little burned out on these by now, but whatever, it’s Shanghai, let’s indulge them I suppose (though I think many of us would have been happy enough to lounge around the shopping district and enjoy the local flavor instead). The “acrobat show” did turn out to be worthwhile after all, they truly threw in “everything but the kitchen sink…” It was remarkable, I wish I could have got some pictures for posterity. We had more of the “folding people” we’d seen the night before (the folks who could contort their bodies into outrageous positions, while balancing atop one another) – then a bunch of fellows dressed in suits and top hats doing crazy juggling/catching stunts.. a couple of body builders doing wild feats of strength and balance – girls spinning plates on poles, while moving around an climbing one another – girls balancing and climbing while bicycle riding – a magician (with birds, sword-through-the-box, sleight-of-hand, etc) – a cheesy laser light show to techno music, and then the finale was one of those giant caged domes with 5 motorcycle stunt riders careening around inside the small enclosed area. Yeah, it was pretty impressive!
After this our group retired to the hotel, a few of us young’uns were itching to investigate the night life of this crazy city however. We got a tip from the concierge to solicit the Xin Tian Di district, hopped in a cab, and then walked around, eventually we followed a German dude who was in turn being led into a disco by some slutty looking Asian chicks on his arm (yeah, very wholesome, I know, what d’ya want). But it worked, we found a cool little spot, the music was booming and the layout of the place was pretty neat. It looked kind of like a lair from Tron or something, very angular and heavy on the shiny black plastic/bright neon panels. It was rather early, on a Sunday night, so not very wild inside, but there was definitely some energy and a couple of maniacs on the dance floor. We had a round of drinks and I got to exert some energy (yeah, I actually had some left!) and did my usual routine, it had been awhile and it felt good to let loose. The drinks were quite expensive, it was fortunate that I was the only boozer in the crew otherwise it would have been damaging on my wallet! Anyway half of our crowd was quite young and not used to such atmosphere, and everybody was generally quite beat from the trip at large, so we just hung out for a spell and then cabbed back home to our hotel for some shuteye. I was happy to find another club right here in our hotel, though the music booming out of it was quite large and invigorating, the interior was the biggest of no-no’s (that is, utterly dead) so I immediately turned around, marched upstairs and passed out in bed, next to my sweetheart.
Friday, June 27, 2008
-- on vacation in China! --
yeah. the past week i have been touring through china with my girlfriend (and a tour group). I have been keeping a journal on my personal blog:
http://ralp99.blogspot.com/
I'l be back early July, when we get thru with this i will return to business and put my microscope back on the gaming world - i have been out of touch, but so much can happen in a short amount of time!
http://ralp99.blogspot.com/
I'l be back early July, when we get thru with this i will return to business and put my microscope back on the gaming world - i have been out of touch, but so much can happen in a short amount of time!
DATELINE:GUILIN
Well okay, so I have skipped a day of typing, it’s been some busy times for me! Here is the rundown of the events of the past two days for Ron and May in China.
Thurs, June 26 – day #2 in Xi’an, and so we got up and headed out, the group saw a famous religious area “Yan Pagoda.” I wasn’t paying too much attention to the particulars, it was an area with a large golden Buddha statue that people would prey to, and burn candles and light incense in front of. For me, it was a good spot to get a ton of photo reference, and so I did exactly that. Afterwards, we were due to visit the "ninth wonder of the world" (or was it eighth?), the Terracotta Warriors. An Ancient Chinese Ruler had an army of close to 10,000 statues built, I believe the count was, to defend his underground tomb. This dated back a good several hundred years BC, I think around the same time as the construction of the Great Wall. Hell if you want the details, go to Wikipedia! Anyway, first they brought us to a factory where they create souvenier warrior statues in their likeness, so you can bring some of your own home. Then the usual spiel of all the gaudy things you could buy. Then off to another place (in a ghost-town feeling area) to eat lunch, another tourist restaurant of course - while we ate, they would unroll enormous wall scrolls and try to get us to buy them. After this our bus headed to the pits where the actual Terracotta Warriors were (still) being unearthed, they were originally discovered in 1974. Though a lot of people generally seem interested in this topic, I must say it didn't really do too much for me compared to many other things I have seen - I mean, it doesn't rank up there with something like the pyramids or the grand canyon (i haven't actually seen the latter in person, but you get my drift). Still I can appreciate the awesome size of the exhibit, and the weirdness that it was just discovered barely 30 yrs ago - and is still undergoing excavation and reconstruction.
Following all of that, we chilled out in a tea house and I kicked back a couple of beers while we waited for the remainder of our crew to wrap up. Then of course, back to the hotel for dinner, though May and I decided to journey into the town and seek out some local bite to eat rather than another subpar "meal for tourists" (note that the food isn't "bad," per se, just boring and really the same fare over and over again). Anyway we headed downtown in Xi'an and found a place with some pretty damned tasty spicy beef, if I do say so myself. A couple of college art professors from our group joined us, and we all shared the food - they also ordered trip ad Ox Tails, which weren't bad. A little bartering with the locals, and then back to the hotel - disappointing, as we were in a hustle and bustle area and I wanted to get a chance to chill out with the locals for an evening. Instead I just relaxed in the hotel lounge and drank a few glasses of whiskey (not enough to do much damage, as they were quite small and the atmosphere was ubelievably mellow).
Last night I slept pretty horribly, I had some dream about answering a knock at my door and some kid riding his bike up to it and pointing a gun at my face, I woke up with a real jump. I fell back asleep and dreamt about losing my apartment ("my prized possession!") and I was in some relationship with some random girl, we always fought - eventually she left me for some other guy, but they lived with me and wouldn't leave me alone (they were always reminding me how I was a failure in love + career + etc) Of course I got pretty bitter and started saying disparaging things about the both of them, a lot of my friends started to get offended by this and would send me angry emails and answering machine messages. I woke up once more and felt exhausted from this stress, obviously I did not want to sleep anymore! I went to the bathroom feeling quite queasy - at last the dreaded upset stomach of the chinese vacation had caught up with me! (For the record I'd been noticeably bound up much of the past week). Wonderful things to read, I am sure, but certainly worth mentioning. I had fears of it hitting me in the middle of a Death March somewhere, or long bus ride - fortunately, it's been easygoing as those things go, and I have been trying to take it easy on the ol' digestive tract today.
Anyway, on with the tour recount - after spending some quality time with Mr Toilet, and being the last one to file onto the tour bus, we rocketed out of our hotel and towards the airport, then flew without incident towards the next stop on our destination, the somewhat tropical region of Giulin. A quick flight over (maybe 1:30?) and we piled into the next bus. This area has an interesting look to it, compared to our last stops - much, much more rural, bizarre and interesting landscape. Crazy surreal mountainous region, the likes of which I have never seen before. While much of the rest of China (that I have seen) feels like a dry dusty desert which had urban elements plopped into it, this region feels like it was until recently quite wild and...well, like I was saying, Tropical! It feels like the roads are barely freshly paved, and that's not to say they look neat and tidy - just that there probably wasn't much in the way of paving going on here 30-odd yrs ago, possibly. Lots of poverty around, lots of tiny hovels, the first 30 min we cruised through town in our bus I noticed nary an actual traffic light. As we got further in, the town built up somewhat, like the other cities in China we have visited it's just endless and always bustling, plenty of people traveling back and forth all over the place, slipping and sliding past one another. More than Xi'an, this place was even more humid and warm, fortunately it cooled as the day grew later. Also to note, it had a lot of the rice paddy field-things you read about in elementary school, the ones that look so clean and perfect, like they would be fun to run through or something..
We stopped in this weird huge cave, a big tourist trap - they've done up the inside with colorful neon lights hidden in it's crevices, giving everything this bizarre otherworldly look that's party feeling like a fake-movie set, almost. You knock on the cave walls and expect it to feel like plaster! Walking inside the cave was really a treat though, as it was so misty and cool compared to the draining gross heat outside. Also it was just a surreal and comfortable, I guess, experience, that it made me sad that we kind of poured in and out of there so fast - I could have hapily spent a couple of hours zoning out in there. It was hard to get "normal" pics in there due to the crazy lighting, but it was wonderful to generate plenty of abstract photography for the same reasons - experimenting with motion and prolonged exposure produced a lot of wild and interesting results. It was a lot of fun! Almost all my pics I shot in there look like a crazy rave..
After this, our group bussed over to some famous hill (I forget the name, bah!) and hiked up a bunch of stairs to get to the top. The heat made it a little annoying, but the climb was much more bearable than the Great Wall of just a few days earlier (by a longshot!) We got up there and shot some pics of the great 360 degree view. It was pretty cool, and I was probably a little too beat to appreciate it - you could really see a lot of interesting terrain and (rundown) cityscape from up there. That is the problem with this trip, I should say - we do see a LOT of interesting things, but it's gotten to the point where we're all so overstimulated from constant running around all over the place that there's not really any chance to "stop and smell the roses." That's the thing about taking an organized tour, you just gotta go with the flow, stay on your toes, and process it all later on. One of the reasons I am trying to keep this vacation journal at such a (relatively) hectic pace is so that I can keep track of Up and Down, since my whole sense of perspective is slippery at best, after this madness...!
Tonight we ate -- yeah, guess it, come on, another subpar chinese dinner at a tourist-serving spot! Then it was off to a local theater to see a show (I think 1.5 hrs) showcasing the traditional costume and dance of some of the local ethnicities. Like many of the shows we've seen on this trip, it was quite ghetto, though it's the first one I didn't find myself nodding off during. The previous one was easily the most lavish, though this show had some outrageous gymnastics going on. You know, those people with the unbelievably limber bodies who could lie on their chests and bend their legs all the way around and pretty much scratch their heads with them, as they were balancing on a couple of other LAYERS of people. It's amazing the amount of control some people can exert over their physique, absolutely amazing (if not also somewhat grotesque!) The show was enjoyable, but it was a long day and I think we were happy to wrap it up and head to hotel number three. We passed through Downtown in our bus, it was completely bustling with throngs of people everywhere, looking like a great time. Like I mentioned, everybody seemed completely exhausted and so I've no idea if anyone was gonna venture out into that madness - already 10pm and another day coming up of more running around to look forward to, as I type these words my drive to spite them and go out alone is diminishing. Also I am kinda colored by the night I had out by myself in Xi'an, it was cool but I felt way out of place and ill-equipped of the nerves to go out and cause a ruckus. I might just have to save my energy a little for Shanghai and May's hometown, I mean -- hell, we still have another WEEK of this trip to contend with!!
Anyway, so that's where things stand. A four hour boat tour tomorrow, followed by I dunno what else, then we'll stay in a different hotel tomorrow night, then fly to Shanghai the following day. Whew.
Some odds and ends are in order. Firstly, May wanted to point out that the post office (in the Beijing airport) ripped her off the other day when they made her mail out her Zippo Lighters, they cost US$30 to send out the US$80 set.
In Beijing, we passed by something creepy called Disney Gardens, a more-than-proposed Disney Theme Park which actually seems to have got a fair bit of the way under construction before the whole thing got shitcanned. I mean, you drive by and see cartoon buildings and cinderella-castle looking things before you notice it's something which never got completed and possibly (?) never will. The tour guide was mentioning "take a lesson, you should plan something out properly before getting far into it!" But considering it's Disney, and China, I am sure some hairy politics must have been it's undoing. A day or two later we passed another unfinished amusement park in a strange out-of-the-way place, I mean it's nothing but creepy to see those rollercoaster tracks that just abruptly stop, in the middle of a ghost town.
I know my girlfriend, and parents, etc will love reading this, but I noticed that one can not view porn on the internet over here. I dunno if it's the firewall of the hotels we are staying at, or some blocker program on my girlfriend's computer, or what, but my personality is such that when I can't access something I start to kinda dig into it and try to find a way around it, just for spite if nothing else (hell, I am a problem solver!) I did find, I think maybe ONE quality picture of a vagina. And there wasn't even any foreign objects trying to violate it, for crying out loud! Regardless, for my efforts I keep waiting for some crack military assault squad to arrive with helicopters, bust through the walls, confiscate the laptop and arrest the entire tour group, and of course do something horrible to all of my entrails to set an example for others. Hmm, something like that. Anyway, mental note, next time bring own porn. While on topic, I should note I don't believe I have seen any whores/weird sex things yet. I think we passed by a massage parlour but it looked legit.
Hanging out in Beijing was bad enough but Xi'an was worse, in regards to traffic behavior. Obeying traffic lights and such seems like more of a suggestion than anything else - the way people drive her is absolutely crazy retarded. It's just - I don't know, organic. Survival of the Fittest. Call it what you will. Being on a bus is one thing, but cabbing it is another universe altogether. You see pedesstrians (even.. little kids! Like LITTLE KIDS BY THEMSELVES!) stranded in the middle of the street while cars and trucks just whiz by them, nonchalantly. It makes one feel like traffic back home is incredibly tame, by comparison. It's quite a rush to watch, and more than anything - well, one tends to look at the faces of the pedestrians while they are INCHES FROM BEING POSSIBLY SIDESWIPED BY A BUS, and their look is just nothing, business as usual. "Oh, I almost met my maker. So, who cares." I wonder how people like that can adapt to driving in the states. It's so remarkable.
Sigh. Almost midnight. Need to be up by 7. It looked like a really good time out in the city tonight, and it's just up the road, but Lorda Mercy I think i am gonna cheese out (awww!) and give my depleted constitution a bit of the brief respite. I know, I will regret this...!
Thurs, June 26 – day #2 in Xi’an, and so we got up and headed out, the group saw a famous religious area “Yan Pagoda.” I wasn’t paying too much attention to the particulars, it was an area with a large golden Buddha statue that people would prey to, and burn candles and light incense in front of. For me, it was a good spot to get a ton of photo reference, and so I did exactly that. Afterwards, we were due to visit the "ninth wonder of the world" (or was it eighth?), the Terracotta Warriors. An Ancient Chinese Ruler had an army of close to 10,000 statues built, I believe the count was, to defend his underground tomb. This dated back a good several hundred years BC, I think around the same time as the construction of the Great Wall. Hell if you want the details, go to Wikipedia! Anyway, first they brought us to a factory where they create souvenier warrior statues in their likeness, so you can bring some of your own home. Then the usual spiel of all the gaudy things you could buy. Then off to another place (in a ghost-town feeling area) to eat lunch, another tourist restaurant of course - while we ate, they would unroll enormous wall scrolls and try to get us to buy them. After this our bus headed to the pits where the actual Terracotta Warriors were (still) being unearthed, they were originally discovered in 1974. Though a lot of people generally seem interested in this topic, I must say it didn't really do too much for me compared to many other things I have seen - I mean, it doesn't rank up there with something like the pyramids or the grand canyon (i haven't actually seen the latter in person, but you get my drift). Still I can appreciate the awesome size of the exhibit, and the weirdness that it was just discovered barely 30 yrs ago - and is still undergoing excavation and reconstruction.
Following all of that, we chilled out in a tea house and I kicked back a couple of beers while we waited for the remainder of our crew to wrap up. Then of course, back to the hotel for dinner, though May and I decided to journey into the town and seek out some local bite to eat rather than another subpar "meal for tourists" (note that the food isn't "bad," per se, just boring and really the same fare over and over again). Anyway we headed downtown in Xi'an and found a place with some pretty damned tasty spicy beef, if I do say so myself. A couple of college art professors from our group joined us, and we all shared the food - they also ordered trip ad Ox Tails, which weren't bad. A little bartering with the locals, and then back to the hotel - disappointing, as we were in a hustle and bustle area and I wanted to get a chance to chill out with the locals for an evening. Instead I just relaxed in the hotel lounge and drank a few glasses of whiskey (not enough to do much damage, as they were quite small and the atmosphere was ubelievably mellow).
Last night I slept pretty horribly, I had some dream about answering a knock at my door and some kid riding his bike up to it and pointing a gun at my face, I woke up with a real jump. I fell back asleep and dreamt about losing my apartment ("my prized possession!") and I was in some relationship with some random girl, we always fought - eventually she left me for some other guy, but they lived with me and wouldn't leave me alone (they were always reminding me how I was a failure in love + career + etc) Of course I got pretty bitter and started saying disparaging things about the both of them, a lot of my friends started to get offended by this and would send me angry emails and answering machine messages. I woke up once more and felt exhausted from this stress, obviously I did not want to sleep anymore! I went to the bathroom feeling quite queasy - at last the dreaded upset stomach of the chinese vacation had caught up with me! (For the record I'd been noticeably bound up much of the past week). Wonderful things to read, I am sure, but certainly worth mentioning. I had fears of it hitting me in the middle of a Death March somewhere, or long bus ride - fortunately, it's been easygoing as those things go, and I have been trying to take it easy on the ol' digestive tract today.
Anyway, on with the tour recount - after spending some quality time with Mr Toilet, and being the last one to file onto the tour bus, we rocketed out of our hotel and towards the airport, then flew without incident towards the next stop on our destination, the somewhat tropical region of Giulin. A quick flight over (maybe 1:30?) and we piled into the next bus. This area has an interesting look to it, compared to our last stops - much, much more rural, bizarre and interesting landscape. Crazy surreal mountainous region, the likes of which I have never seen before. While much of the rest of China (that I have seen) feels like a dry dusty desert which had urban elements plopped into it, this region feels like it was until recently quite wild and...well, like I was saying, Tropical! It feels like the roads are barely freshly paved, and that's not to say they look neat and tidy - just that there probably wasn't much in the way of paving going on here 30-odd yrs ago, possibly. Lots of poverty around, lots of tiny hovels, the first 30 min we cruised through town in our bus I noticed nary an actual traffic light. As we got further in, the town built up somewhat, like the other cities in China we have visited it's just endless and always bustling, plenty of people traveling back and forth all over the place, slipping and sliding past one another. More than Xi'an, this place was even more humid and warm, fortunately it cooled as the day grew later. Also to note, it had a lot of the rice paddy field-things you read about in elementary school, the ones that look so clean and perfect, like they would be fun to run through or something..
We stopped in this weird huge cave, a big tourist trap - they've done up the inside with colorful neon lights hidden in it's crevices, giving everything this bizarre otherworldly look that's party feeling like a fake-movie set, almost. You knock on the cave walls and expect it to feel like plaster! Walking inside the cave was really a treat though, as it was so misty and cool compared to the draining gross heat outside. Also it was just a surreal and comfortable, I guess, experience, that it made me sad that we kind of poured in and out of there so fast - I could have hapily spent a couple of hours zoning out in there. It was hard to get "normal" pics in there due to the crazy lighting, but it was wonderful to generate plenty of abstract photography for the same reasons - experimenting with motion and prolonged exposure produced a lot of wild and interesting results. It was a lot of fun! Almost all my pics I shot in there look like a crazy rave..
After this, our group bussed over to some famous hill (I forget the name, bah!) and hiked up a bunch of stairs to get to the top. The heat made it a little annoying, but the climb was much more bearable than the Great Wall of just a few days earlier (by a longshot!) We got up there and shot some pics of the great 360 degree view. It was pretty cool, and I was probably a little too beat to appreciate it - you could really see a lot of interesting terrain and (rundown) cityscape from up there. That is the problem with this trip, I should say - we do see a LOT of interesting things, but it's gotten to the point where we're all so overstimulated from constant running around all over the place that there's not really any chance to "stop and smell the roses." That's the thing about taking an organized tour, you just gotta go with the flow, stay on your toes, and process it all later on. One of the reasons I am trying to keep this vacation journal at such a (relatively) hectic pace is so that I can keep track of Up and Down, since my whole sense of perspective is slippery at best, after this madness...!
Tonight we ate -- yeah, guess it, come on, another subpar chinese dinner at a tourist-serving spot! Then it was off to a local theater to see a show (I think 1.5 hrs) showcasing the traditional costume and dance of some of the local ethnicities. Like many of the shows we've seen on this trip, it was quite ghetto, though it's the first one I didn't find myself nodding off during. The previous one was easily the most lavish, though this show had some outrageous gymnastics going on. You know, those people with the unbelievably limber bodies who could lie on their chests and bend their legs all the way around and pretty much scratch their heads with them, as they were balancing on a couple of other LAYERS of people. It's amazing the amount of control some people can exert over their physique, absolutely amazing (if not also somewhat grotesque!) The show was enjoyable, but it was a long day and I think we were happy to wrap it up and head to hotel number three. We passed through Downtown in our bus, it was completely bustling with throngs of people everywhere, looking like a great time. Like I mentioned, everybody seemed completely exhausted and so I've no idea if anyone was gonna venture out into that madness - already 10pm and another day coming up of more running around to look forward to, as I type these words my drive to spite them and go out alone is diminishing. Also I am kinda colored by the night I had out by myself in Xi'an, it was cool but I felt way out of place and ill-equipped of the nerves to go out and cause a ruckus. I might just have to save my energy a little for Shanghai and May's hometown, I mean -- hell, we still have another WEEK of this trip to contend with!!
Anyway, so that's where things stand. A four hour boat tour tomorrow, followed by I dunno what else, then we'll stay in a different hotel tomorrow night, then fly to Shanghai the following day. Whew.
Some odds and ends are in order. Firstly, May wanted to point out that the post office (in the Beijing airport) ripped her off the other day when they made her mail out her Zippo Lighters, they cost US$30 to send out the US$80 set.
In Beijing, we passed by something creepy called Disney Gardens, a more-than-proposed Disney Theme Park which actually seems to have got a fair bit of the way under construction before the whole thing got shitcanned. I mean, you drive by and see cartoon buildings and cinderella-castle looking things before you notice it's something which never got completed and possibly (?) never will. The tour guide was mentioning "take a lesson, you should plan something out properly before getting far into it!" But considering it's Disney, and China, I am sure some hairy politics must have been it's undoing. A day or two later we passed another unfinished amusement park in a strange out-of-the-way place, I mean it's nothing but creepy to see those rollercoaster tracks that just abruptly stop, in the middle of a ghost town.
I know my girlfriend, and parents, etc will love reading this, but I noticed that one can not view porn on the internet over here. I dunno if it's the firewall of the hotels we are staying at, or some blocker program on my girlfriend's computer, or what, but my personality is such that when I can't access something I start to kinda dig into it and try to find a way around it, just for spite if nothing else (hell, I am a problem solver!) I did find, I think maybe ONE quality picture of a vagina. And there wasn't even any foreign objects trying to violate it, for crying out loud! Regardless, for my efforts I keep waiting for some crack military assault squad to arrive with helicopters, bust through the walls, confiscate the laptop and arrest the entire tour group, and of course do something horrible to all of my entrails to set an example for others. Hmm, something like that. Anyway, mental note, next time bring own porn. While on topic, I should note I don't believe I have seen any whores/weird sex things yet. I think we passed by a massage parlour but it looked legit.
Hanging out in Beijing was bad enough but Xi'an was worse, in regards to traffic behavior. Obeying traffic lights and such seems like more of a suggestion than anything else - the way people drive her is absolutely crazy retarded. It's just - I don't know, organic. Survival of the Fittest. Call it what you will. Being on a bus is one thing, but cabbing it is another universe altogether. You see pedesstrians (even.. little kids! Like LITTLE KIDS BY THEMSELVES!) stranded in the middle of the street while cars and trucks just whiz by them, nonchalantly. It makes one feel like traffic back home is incredibly tame, by comparison. It's quite a rush to watch, and more than anything - well, one tends to look at the faces of the pedestrians while they are INCHES FROM BEING POSSIBLY SIDESWIPED BY A BUS, and their look is just nothing, business as usual. "Oh, I almost met my maker. So, who cares." I wonder how people like that can adapt to driving in the states. It's so remarkable.
Sigh. Almost midnight. Need to be up by 7. It looked like a really good time out in the city tonight, and it's just up the road, but Lorda Mercy I think i am gonna cheese out (awww!) and give my depleted constitution a bit of the brief respite. I know, I will regret this...!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
DATELINE:XI'AN - The Guts of China
Sigh, another day gone by, in this weird so-called vacation of mine. I must note, for those wondering, I passed the International Date Line when arriving here, obviously, so usually as I am typing these things it's past midnight where I am at, while many of those who read it are just getting started with the previous day. Weird, right? It's just past midnight, Thursday morning, here in Xi'an, China - back in Los Angeles, it's Wednesday morning, 9am. Boston is a little easier since it is an even 12 hr difference (so, 12 noon wednesday there). Anyway, you get the point.
So to get right into it - last night I was hoping to get out and party, but that didn't end up happening (once again) for various reasons, mainly I will chalk it up to the fates conspiring against me. Still, May and I did escape from our tour group in order to meet up with a local friend of hers, in Beijing - she brought us to a really tasty hot-pot spot (shabu shabu of the non-japanese variety). Yes, best meal we've had this entire trip, easily..
Today (Wednesday), we hopped up out of bed, packed all of our crap, and met the group in the lobby, as it was time to depart the capital city of Beijing and head to the next stop on the tour, Xi'an (a former capital of China). We bussed out to the aiport, only to find out that may + my tickets weren't available along with the entire rest of the group (one of the guides' tix was missing as well). We had to bus over to a different terminal (which must have been, honestly, a good ten miles away - not kidding!) We got in, hurrying to catch our flight on time, they scan our luggage and SHIT there's a problem. May bought Zippo lighters (real popular over here) back home and brought as gifts for some friends, well I guess those don't mesh with procedure so they started going through our bags and trying to throw the lighters out. She was pissed, as they were worth like $80 altogether, and convinced them to let her ship them at the airport's post office. So we rush over there (clock is ticking!) and they had just finished washing the goddamned floor of this little tiny hovel of a post office.. " you have to wait for the floor to try before you may enter!" They were being dicks, arguing with us and the security guy. Anyway they won and we waited, dropped in the mail, ran to get on the plane, bingo all set. Short flight (2.5 hrs or so, if that) and when we got there, found out that the plane the rest of the group on got delayed anyway so we hadda wait another hour for them to show up.
We finally met up and trucked through Xi'an for some sightseeing. very, very different place than Beijing. The latter being a building-up Industrial, modernized city, Xi'an feels like a bit of a dustbin by comparison. It just feels like someone decided to plunk a huge endless city into the middle of a heaving-dry desert - even at nighttime, it's disgustingly swealtering. I imagine the local folks are quite hardy for living here. The visuals were amazing, kind of unlike any environment I have ever been in - I must have snapped hundreds of photos. The buildings were lovingly detailed with pipes, Tubes, AC ducts, and exposed wiring the likes of which you'd see in a late 70s cyberpunk flick. Horrible and gorgeous at the same time. It's all doused fairly evenly with a laer of poverty, no doubt aided by the climate, so it's fair to say there's a very particular mood exuding from this place not quite like one I have noticed elsewhere. At the same time, in some ways, very familiar. Sort of like a more urbanized, non-mexican van nuys in certain ways.
We got dinner at a Dumpling Specialty place - nothing wonderful, but certainly better than the past several meals they've fed us! After that was a traditional dance show, which was impressive, but overlong. It tuckered everyone out, all were back to the hotel and in bed by 10pm, wild huh? The thing is, we pack so much into these days that I think people's batteries are just being superdrained..
As for me, I was determined to go out and sample some of the local flavor. As I've no accomplices to accompany me at the moment, I had decided to go out my lonesome - which is good for some reasons, bad for others.. but regardless I shoe'd up my already-exhausted dogs and hit the pavement. A bellman pointed me in the direction of bars, though 15 minutes looking that way yielded nothin', so I just kept wandering. I didn't wanna just call a cab and say "take me to a club!" for a number of reasons - I was by myself, what if they took me somewhere super-far away and it got expensive, or to some place filled with boring-ass tourists (tourist trap), or the other kind of tourist trap where you could get ripped off, mugged, etc (yeah, this sorta seems sketchy enough to be that kind of a city). Anyway I wandered aimlessly, past 11pm on a Wednesday night. The streets were pretty active, considering, between cars and peds.. lots of people hanging out on the side of the road, on their motorscooter things or just chilling on stoops, or wandering with their girls to or from wherever. a few stores open here and there but nothing enticing looking. I wandered for awhile, still nothing, eventually i ducked down some really narrow alley that looked like it was brimming with activity. it was sketchier than the main drag but at least it looked like there would be something interesting going on (if anything, maybe there'd be some bars down here!) Just more of the same, lots of people in little clusters, hanging out.. tiny rooms that looked kinda like barber shops, filled with people jawbonin' and smoking (the rooms just looked like thick clouds). People were grilling up all sorts of stuff on either side, tony dens of people playing mahjhongg, chess, stuff like that. It kept going, i kept walking, but it was getting late and nothing was looking like it would be welcoming to a white dude who spoke only english, so I started heading back.
it felt awfully weird, obviously they didn't get many white folks down this way, i really felt out of place. Sort of like a ghost drifting unnoticed thru the middle of the street, something for people to avoid and try to ignore, as it was breaking up their rhythm, their regularity. it felt both cool (to interrupt and disturb it) and awkward (to not know where to go or where to belong) at the same time. I am a city guy, a night guy, so wherever I am I will gravitate to an area like this, the off-the-beat area where the regular tourists wouldn't wanna be, at crazy hours of the night when stuff is dead and people are crazy (I guess they don't wanna be there for a good reason..!)
It is hot here, hotter than Beijing. Even in the dead of night it was uncomfortably hot - today should be worse. This place isn't bad, it's very interesting and unique but I look forward to getting somewhere that I can relax more, shortly.
So to get right into it - last night I was hoping to get out and party, but that didn't end up happening (once again) for various reasons, mainly I will chalk it up to the fates conspiring against me. Still, May and I did escape from our tour group in order to meet up with a local friend of hers, in Beijing - she brought us to a really tasty hot-pot spot (shabu shabu of the non-japanese variety). Yes, best meal we've had this entire trip, easily..
Today (Wednesday), we hopped up out of bed, packed all of our crap, and met the group in the lobby, as it was time to depart the capital city of Beijing and head to the next stop on the tour, Xi'an (a former capital of China). We bussed out to the aiport, only to find out that may + my tickets weren't available along with the entire rest of the group (one of the guides' tix was missing as well). We had to bus over to a different terminal (which must have been, honestly, a good ten miles away - not kidding!) We got in, hurrying to catch our flight on time, they scan our luggage and SHIT there's a problem. May bought Zippo lighters (real popular over here) back home and brought as gifts for some friends, well I guess those don't mesh with procedure so they started going through our bags and trying to throw the lighters out. She was pissed, as they were worth like $80 altogether, and convinced them to let her ship them at the airport's post office. So we rush over there (clock is ticking!) and they had just finished washing the goddamned floor of this little tiny hovel of a post office.. " you have to wait for the floor to try before you may enter!" They were being dicks, arguing with us and the security guy. Anyway they won and we waited, dropped in the mail, ran to get on the plane, bingo all set. Short flight (2.5 hrs or so, if that) and when we got there, found out that the plane the rest of the group on got delayed anyway so we hadda wait another hour for them to show up.
We finally met up and trucked through Xi'an for some sightseeing. very, very different place than Beijing. The latter being a building-up Industrial, modernized city, Xi'an feels like a bit of a dustbin by comparison. It just feels like someone decided to plunk a huge endless city into the middle of a heaving-dry desert - even at nighttime, it's disgustingly swealtering. I imagine the local folks are quite hardy for living here. The visuals were amazing, kind of unlike any environment I have ever been in - I must have snapped hundreds of photos. The buildings were lovingly detailed with pipes, Tubes, AC ducts, and exposed wiring the likes of which you'd see in a late 70s cyberpunk flick. Horrible and gorgeous at the same time. It's all doused fairly evenly with a laer of poverty, no doubt aided by the climate, so it's fair to say there's a very particular mood exuding from this place not quite like one I have noticed elsewhere. At the same time, in some ways, very familiar. Sort of like a more urbanized, non-mexican van nuys in certain ways.
We got dinner at a Dumpling Specialty place - nothing wonderful, but certainly better than the past several meals they've fed us! After that was a traditional dance show, which was impressive, but overlong. It tuckered everyone out, all were back to the hotel and in bed by 10pm, wild huh? The thing is, we pack so much into these days that I think people's batteries are just being superdrained..
As for me, I was determined to go out and sample some of the local flavor. As I've no accomplices to accompany me at the moment, I had decided to go out my lonesome - which is good for some reasons, bad for others.. but regardless I shoe'd up my already-exhausted dogs and hit the pavement. A bellman pointed me in the direction of bars, though 15 minutes looking that way yielded nothin', so I just kept wandering. I didn't wanna just call a cab and say "take me to a club!" for a number of reasons - I was by myself, what if they took me somewhere super-far away and it got expensive, or to some place filled with boring-ass tourists (tourist trap), or the other kind of tourist trap where you could get ripped off, mugged, etc (yeah, this sorta seems sketchy enough to be that kind of a city). Anyway I wandered aimlessly, past 11pm on a Wednesday night. The streets were pretty active, considering, between cars and peds.. lots of people hanging out on the side of the road, on their motorscooter things or just chilling on stoops, or wandering with their girls to or from wherever. a few stores open here and there but nothing enticing looking. I wandered for awhile, still nothing, eventually i ducked down some really narrow alley that looked like it was brimming with activity. it was sketchier than the main drag but at least it looked like there would be something interesting going on (if anything, maybe there'd be some bars down here!) Just more of the same, lots of people in little clusters, hanging out.. tiny rooms that looked kinda like barber shops, filled with people jawbonin' and smoking (the rooms just looked like thick clouds). People were grilling up all sorts of stuff on either side, tony dens of people playing mahjhongg, chess, stuff like that. It kept going, i kept walking, but it was getting late and nothing was looking like it would be welcoming to a white dude who spoke only english, so I started heading back.
it felt awfully weird, obviously they didn't get many white folks down this way, i really felt out of place. Sort of like a ghost drifting unnoticed thru the middle of the street, something for people to avoid and try to ignore, as it was breaking up their rhythm, their regularity. it felt both cool (to interrupt and disturb it) and awkward (to not know where to go or where to belong) at the same time. I am a city guy, a night guy, so wherever I am I will gravitate to an area like this, the off-the-beat area where the regular tourists wouldn't wanna be, at crazy hours of the night when stuff is dead and people are crazy (I guess they don't wanna be there for a good reason..!)
It is hot here, hotter than Beijing. Even in the dead of night it was uncomfortably hot - today should be worse. This place isn't bad, it's very interesting and unique but I look forward to getting somewhere that I can relax more, shortly.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
DATELINE:BEIJING (day two)
oh okay, i got to write this one fast, as time is tight. we just got home from dinner and will be out for a night on the town, shortly.
So, today we rose and hopped on the our bus. They carted us out to a "jade factory," where they fashion jade into all manner of ornamentation and jewelry. It was very, very gaudy.. anyway they brought busloads of people into this giant factory/store, like... well, busloads of tourists (white people!) There were American high school trips coming here and stuff. Who do they think is gonna buy this stuff? It was packed with people from a good 10 different groups, maybe.. anyway we kind of avoided the sales folks and talked amongst ourselves. Then we piled back into the bus and headed over to check out the great wall.
Leaving the business section of Beijing was a trip - unless you've been under a rock in the past year, you are aware that Beijing will be hosting the Olympics here next month, and it's quite a big deal (1st time in China!!!) We drove by the main Olympic drag. I have never been by such a thing before, it is OH MY GOD huge. The main starting area (the "nest"), the Water Cube, a whole bunch of other areas - as we drove by, seeing these surreal building designs, coupled with the fact that they were so ginormous that they felt hard to comprehend in scale. Very bizarre, very interesting though!
The Great Wall was also interesting. I didn't know what to expect really - I knew it would be a spectacle of some sort. People always talked of "climbing the Great Wall," I wasn't sure what that would entail. Upon seeing it with my own eyes, I realized what they meant - HUGE STAIRS THAT ASCEND STRAIGHT UP INTO SPACE, and quite steeply, and forever. It was a daunting sight, just this huge steep hill that crawls endlessly upwards, peppered with all manner of people, and intermittent towers with little shops speckled along the way up. Screw it, I thought to try my best and just headed up at it with the best of them. Starting out, steep immediately, some steps were up to my kneecaps (and there's all manner of exhausted-looking people coming down towards you from all sides). I spent a good half hour or so just trudging up - it WAS exhausting - but determined to go the distance. I reached what seemed to be a pretty high point, rounded a corner, and then BAM another shop and another endless series of stairs winding further upwards. It was noon, and our bus was due to leave in 30min, so sadly I turned around and began to return. Next time!
Afterwards we went to another shop (....), A cloissone factory/restuarant. They had people making vases with very intricate patterns on them. There were miserable looking people painting detailed birds/flowers/crap on the sides of these things after they'd finished firing in a kiln. It seemed like a much lower-paying version of my job... Anyway we ate some subpar chinese food afterwards, this place was completely ful of tourists also, then back to the bus. We then headed far out for a plaee called the Summer Palace, where the Empress lived. Another packed public area, hemorraging with tourists and locals. It was cool though, very picturesque. I shot a lot of photos there, after all! The highlight of this place was a long, decorative corrider, with all sorts of Chinese Historical stories/fairy tales/etc depicted along its walls. The thing stretched a good half mile (yes, it was pretty long!) We ended the day with a short boat ride on a Dragon Boat, then back to our bus.
But not done, then we stopped by ANOTHER factory/restaurant - yes, this was three in one day!! Pearl factory, where they make necklaces and jewelry. They harangued us for a little while, then brought us upstairs to eat more (you guessed it) subpar chinese food. Ah well, nothing offensive, it's just getting to be enough already! Joked with our fellow group members as we ate, then bac to the hotel to call it a day. As I type this, May and I are getting ready to go out for a night on the town with her friend (one of her "fans") who is a local and can show us some of the good sights. In spite of all the pushing, Beijing seems like a very interesting place, very strange, I can see having a few good times here - I am psyched to go out for a wild night!
In spite of my tone, the trip is fun, I am getting some exercise, haven't got sick yet (yay!) and seeing some interesting things (and getting a TON of photo reference, as usual). Having fun with my girlfriend. The trip business bothers me, of course, but at least it exposes us to some cool things we'd not otherwise be privy to, so I can't bitch too much (yet).
Tomorrow we depart from Beijing, hop on a flight to the next area, Xi'an - a city I know nothing about. Stay tuned!
So, today we rose and hopped on the our bus. They carted us out to a "jade factory," where they fashion jade into all manner of ornamentation and jewelry. It was very, very gaudy.. anyway they brought busloads of people into this giant factory/store, like... well, busloads of tourists (white people!) There were American high school trips coming here and stuff. Who do they think is gonna buy this stuff? It was packed with people from a good 10 different groups, maybe.. anyway we kind of avoided the sales folks and talked amongst ourselves. Then we piled back into the bus and headed over to check out the great wall.
Leaving the business section of Beijing was a trip - unless you've been under a rock in the past year, you are aware that Beijing will be hosting the Olympics here next month, and it's quite a big deal (1st time in China!!!) We drove by the main Olympic drag. I have never been by such a thing before, it is OH MY GOD huge. The main starting area (the "nest"), the Water Cube, a whole bunch of other areas - as we drove by, seeing these surreal building designs, coupled with the fact that they were so ginormous that they felt hard to comprehend in scale. Very bizarre, very interesting though!
The Great Wall was also interesting. I didn't know what to expect really - I knew it would be a spectacle of some sort. People always talked of "climbing the Great Wall," I wasn't sure what that would entail. Upon seeing it with my own eyes, I realized what they meant - HUGE STAIRS THAT ASCEND STRAIGHT UP INTO SPACE, and quite steeply, and forever. It was a daunting sight, just this huge steep hill that crawls endlessly upwards, peppered with all manner of people, and intermittent towers with little shops speckled along the way up. Screw it, I thought to try my best and just headed up at it with the best of them. Starting out, steep immediately, some steps were up to my kneecaps (and there's all manner of exhausted-looking people coming down towards you from all sides). I spent a good half hour or so just trudging up - it WAS exhausting - but determined to go the distance. I reached what seemed to be a pretty high point, rounded a corner, and then BAM another shop and another endless series of stairs winding further upwards. It was noon, and our bus was due to leave in 30min, so sadly I turned around and began to return. Next time!
Afterwards we went to another shop (....), A cloissone factory/restuarant. They had people making vases with very intricate patterns on them. There were miserable looking people painting detailed birds/flowers/crap on the sides of these things after they'd finished firing in a kiln. It seemed like a much lower-paying version of my job... Anyway we ate some subpar chinese food afterwards, this place was completely ful of tourists also, then back to the bus. We then headed far out for a plaee called the Summer Palace, where the Empress lived. Another packed public area, hemorraging with tourists and locals. It was cool though, very picturesque. I shot a lot of photos there, after all! The highlight of this place was a long, decorative corrider, with all sorts of Chinese Historical stories/fairy tales/etc depicted along its walls. The thing stretched a good half mile (yes, it was pretty long!) We ended the day with a short boat ride on a Dragon Boat, then back to our bus.
But not done, then we stopped by ANOTHER factory/restaurant - yes, this was three in one day!! Pearl factory, where they make necklaces and jewelry. They harangued us for a little while, then brought us upstairs to eat more (you guessed it) subpar chinese food. Ah well, nothing offensive, it's just getting to be enough already! Joked with our fellow group members as we ate, then bac to the hotel to call it a day. As I type this, May and I are getting ready to go out for a night on the town with her friend (one of her "fans") who is a local and can show us some of the good sights. In spite of all the pushing, Beijing seems like a very interesting place, very strange, I can see having a few good times here - I am psyched to go out for a wild night!
In spite of my tone, the trip is fun, I am getting some exercise, haven't got sick yet (yay!) and seeing some interesting things (and getting a TON of photo reference, as usual). Having fun with my girlfriend. The trip business bothers me, of course, but at least it exposes us to some cool things we'd not otherwise be privy to, so I can't bitch too much (yet).
Tomorrow we depart from Beijing, hop on a flight to the next area, Xi'an - a city I know nothing about. Stay tuned!
Monday, June 23, 2008
DATELINE: BEIJING (beginning a journal of our trip to China)
okayyyy, so myspace blog is being a fiasco to load, so i must type in the blogger site instead - so, yeah! Here's the quick rundown of the beginning of our trip to China.
Friday, regular day of work - I wanted to finish up the section I was working on, since I would be gone for a couple of weeks (...) I left the office at 2am that night, then came home to clean up my apartment and get ready and all of that. Since our flight was gonna be a long one, May and I decided to just stay up all night so we could sleep on the plane. Long story short, we were both pretty exhausted all night (especially me!), got out the door at a reasonable time and boarded the plane for our flight @1:30 saturday afternoon. The flight was longer than any I'd been on before - about 15 hours to get to Shanghai, then chill at that airport for a couple of hours, then get our connecting flight to our final stop at Beijing (another 2-3 hrs). So, yeah, it was a long mother of a day! I guess I slept about half of the travel time, I didn't wanna knock out for the full trip since we had to get to bed as soon as we reached our hotel anyway (it was past 2am) - and we had to get up today, Monday, for our first day of the tour.
So that's what went down. We got up, met the tour group in the lobby, loaded up the bus and headed over to the Forbidden City for a couple of hours. Very interesting! This is basically where the Emperors of past dynasties would live, and keep all of his thousands of concubines, and address his people and so forth. As the morning wore on, so did the dry humidity, and there was tons of walking and picture taking to do. After some hours of that, we blasted across the street to Tianman Square, walked around a bit more, then headed over to a slightly beat-up looking part of town to get a ride on the rickshaw bikes (some old guy rides a bike with a two-seater attached behind it). We were all lined up in a row, it was pretty crazy. We checked out this old-fashioned style of Chinese apartment, Hadouen or something - basically four separate apartments jammed into one another surrounding a courtyard.
Then it was off to eat lunch at the de riguer Chinese restaurant. Food was tasty, reminded me very much of the Empress Pavilions back home, very much so. Getting to know our tourmates a little bit, devouring tons of food, yadda yadda. As we eat, it poured outside, so we went to get a foot massage (of all things!) afterwards. That was odd, to say the least! In my head it sounded good, some hot asian chick lotioning up my foot and ladeling attention all over it, yeah I could think of worse ways to spend my vacation time. Well, this turned out not to be exactly what the tour had planened. Instead we all got led into this room, and this business woman starts to lecture us about reflexology and how all the major organs have nerve connections ending in the foot, and likewise in the hands, and how eastern medicine prefers to go this route as opposed to the chemicals like the west uses. Then all these people (mostly dudes) come into our room with big wooden waterbasins, boiling water with some herbal mixture in there, and we soak our feet as she lectures... then the dudes massage our feet for the next 45 min or so while they bring in a bunch of official-looking professors and other people to read our palms and look at our tongues and tell us about all of te things that are wrong with us (bad hormones, bad liver, bad spleen, don't work too much, etc etc). Basically trying to get us to buy hundreds of dollars of funky herbal medicines. Yeah, it was weird! Just a big sales pitch for some useless bullshit that no one needs, but then, that's what these types of meetings are known for. Trying to scare you into buying stuff! I was not psyched to have the poor guy working on my feet for that long, if the massage was good I guess I wouldn't complain about it, haha. Whatever, we left a little rudely (didn't buy anything) just thanked them and split.
After tha, the day was getting on but we still had another major area to hit - The Temple of Heaven (there's lots of places with names like that in Beijing). Basically the place where the Emperor would go to have his audience with god -- This place was basically a national park, smack in the middle of a built-up section of the city. So it was pretty crazy to shift from all the packed industry into sort of wooded forest area so suddenly. Anyway walking inside, there's a bunch of little cabin-like areas (sort of) setup with tons of old people playing cards, very excitedly. Then there's little groups of old people playing hackey-sack - their hackey-sacks are different than the American Beanbag style, theirs are just little pointy things with a bunch of colorful feathers sticking out. Further still we heard some weird operatic singing, I thought it was being piped over a PA but it was actually little groups of people practicing their wailing (again, older people). Yeah, very very weird! On top of all of this, the place smelled sort of like what you'd picture the Midway on Ooney Island would smell like, sans the fish or beach (kinda stale popcorn-y smell). We got past all of this to the actual Temple area itself, which just seemed old and outdated - but it was pretty weird, also as the skies were dark and menacing with booming thunder. It felt ominous and strange, and everyone was eager to get outta there before the next downpour came.
Next up we hit a little Peking Duck place for dinner - supposedly this dish is all the rage in Beijing. Well, the food was alright, they stuck us in these little claustrophobic rooms in the basement of this very tourist-catering restaurant (at this point in the tour, I am starting to become quite wary of the scheme!) The food was passable, I have had much better Roast Duck at Sam Woo BBQ in Van Nuys. Mostly, no one was that hungry for this enormous meal as we'd just had a rather filling lunch merely a few hours ago. As we wrapped up and left, dozens of other (obvious) tourists filed into the same place.
No! The day was STILL NOT OVER! After all of that, we bussed over to "The Red Theater" to see a Kung-Fu show. Again, this place was filled with 90 percent Whitey - most of them older, at that. The show was alright, it was a live stage show, a bunch of guys performing crazy ninja posturing and acrobatics. It sounds cooler than it was, though it did have its impressive moments. Basically by this point in the day I was very drained and tired of doing touristy things and wanted to get the heck out of there. And after that, we headed home.
I was planning to go and explore the city a bit tonight, find some random club to go be a little wild in - but the night got late kinda fast, and obviously it has been a LONG day following another few long, long, LONG days, so I guess I am chilling for a night to try and get a little better synched to the local schedule, I gota try and keep my stamina up you know? Tomorrow night one of May's local friends will take us around, so I can get my fill then..
Anyway China is very cool! There is so much to see here. Visiting a different culture is always weird and fun. I am still kind of shocked to be so-suddenly thrust into it, but what the hey. More good times to come, then...
Tomorrow is (ulp!) the Great Wall..
Friday, regular day of work - I wanted to finish up the section I was working on, since I would be gone for a couple of weeks (...) I left the office at 2am that night, then came home to clean up my apartment and get ready and all of that. Since our flight was gonna be a long one, May and I decided to just stay up all night so we could sleep on the plane. Long story short, we were both pretty exhausted all night (especially me!), got out the door at a reasonable time and boarded the plane for our flight @1:30 saturday afternoon. The flight was longer than any I'd been on before - about 15 hours to get to Shanghai, then chill at that airport for a couple of hours, then get our connecting flight to our final stop at Beijing (another 2-3 hrs). So, yeah, it was a long mother of a day! I guess I slept about half of the travel time, I didn't wanna knock out for the full trip since we had to get to bed as soon as we reached our hotel anyway (it was past 2am) - and we had to get up today, Monday, for our first day of the tour.
So that's what went down. We got up, met the tour group in the lobby, loaded up the bus and headed over to the Forbidden City for a couple of hours. Very interesting! This is basically where the Emperors of past dynasties would live, and keep all of his thousands of concubines, and address his people and so forth. As the morning wore on, so did the dry humidity, and there was tons of walking and picture taking to do. After some hours of that, we blasted across the street to Tianman Square, walked around a bit more, then headed over to a slightly beat-up looking part of town to get a ride on the rickshaw bikes (some old guy rides a bike with a two-seater attached behind it). We were all lined up in a row, it was pretty crazy. We checked out this old-fashioned style of Chinese apartment, Hadouen or something - basically four separate apartments jammed into one another surrounding a courtyard.
Then it was off to eat lunch at the de riguer Chinese restaurant. Food was tasty, reminded me very much of the Empress Pavilions back home, very much so. Getting to know our tourmates a little bit, devouring tons of food, yadda yadda. As we eat, it poured outside, so we went to get a foot massage (of all things!) afterwards. That was odd, to say the least! In my head it sounded good, some hot asian chick lotioning up my foot and ladeling attention all over it, yeah I could think of worse ways to spend my vacation time. Well, this turned out not to be exactly what the tour had planened. Instead we all got led into this room, and this business woman starts to lecture us about reflexology and how all the major organs have nerve connections ending in the foot, and likewise in the hands, and how eastern medicine prefers to go this route as opposed to the chemicals like the west uses. Then all these people (mostly dudes) come into our room with big wooden waterbasins, boiling water with some herbal mixture in there, and we soak our feet as she lectures... then the dudes massage our feet for the next 45 min or so while they bring in a bunch of official-looking professors and other people to read our palms and look at our tongues and tell us about all of te things that are wrong with us (bad hormones, bad liver, bad spleen, don't work too much, etc etc). Basically trying to get us to buy hundreds of dollars of funky herbal medicines. Yeah, it was weird! Just a big sales pitch for some useless bullshit that no one needs, but then, that's what these types of meetings are known for. Trying to scare you into buying stuff! I was not psyched to have the poor guy working on my feet for that long, if the massage was good I guess I wouldn't complain about it, haha. Whatever, we left a little rudely (didn't buy anything) just thanked them and split.
After tha, the day was getting on but we still had another major area to hit - The Temple of Heaven (there's lots of places with names like that in Beijing). Basically the place where the Emperor would go to have his audience with god -- This place was basically a national park, smack in the middle of a built-up section of the city. So it was pretty crazy to shift from all the packed industry into sort of wooded forest area so suddenly. Anyway walking inside, there's a bunch of little cabin-like areas (sort of) setup with tons of old people playing cards, very excitedly. Then there's little groups of old people playing hackey-sack - their hackey-sacks are different than the American Beanbag style, theirs are just little pointy things with a bunch of colorful feathers sticking out. Further still we heard some weird operatic singing, I thought it was being piped over a PA but it was actually little groups of people practicing their wailing (again, older people). Yeah, very very weird! On top of all of this, the place smelled sort of like what you'd picture the Midway on Ooney Island would smell like, sans the fish or beach (kinda stale popcorn-y smell). We got past all of this to the actual Temple area itself, which just seemed old and outdated - but it was pretty weird, also as the skies were dark and menacing with booming thunder. It felt ominous and strange, and everyone was eager to get outta there before the next downpour came.
Next up we hit a little Peking Duck place for dinner - supposedly this dish is all the rage in Beijing. Well, the food was alright, they stuck us in these little claustrophobic rooms in the basement of this very tourist-catering restaurant (at this point in the tour, I am starting to become quite wary of the scheme!) The food was passable, I have had much better Roast Duck at Sam Woo BBQ in Van Nuys. Mostly, no one was that hungry for this enormous meal as we'd just had a rather filling lunch merely a few hours ago. As we wrapped up and left, dozens of other (obvious) tourists filed into the same place.
No! The day was STILL NOT OVER! After all of that, we bussed over to "The Red Theater" to see a Kung-Fu show. Again, this place was filled with 90 percent Whitey - most of them older, at that. The show was alright, it was a live stage show, a bunch of guys performing crazy ninja posturing and acrobatics. It sounds cooler than it was, though it did have its impressive moments. Basically by this point in the day I was very drained and tired of doing touristy things and wanted to get the heck out of there. And after that, we headed home.
I was planning to go and explore the city a bit tonight, find some random club to go be a little wild in - but the night got late kinda fast, and obviously it has been a LONG day following another few long, long, LONG days, so I guess I am chilling for a night to try and get a little better synched to the local schedule, I gota try and keep my stamina up you know? Tomorrow night one of May's local friends will take us around, so I can get my fill then..
Anyway China is very cool! There is so much to see here. Visiting a different culture is always weird and fun. I am still kind of shocked to be so-suddenly thrust into it, but what the hey. More good times to come, then...
Tomorrow is (ulp!) the Great Wall..
Monday, June 16, 2008
in the belfry
yeah, as usual, "no time to type," and that is officially my calling card for how I'll start ALL blogs. About EVERYTHING, mateys.
Lots going on in the game world, of course Metal Gear Pizza released some days ago, and it's captivating the scene right now. I've not yet played it, of course, and in fact I have barely made much headway thru even the first MGS on PSone.. but I have respect for a venerated franchise. Anyway it's cleaning up in the ratings dep't, looking at it real quick it doesn't really excite me but it looks all well and good. I am interested in messing around with the last-gen versions at some point (perhaps that should've been in quotes). Something about the slow sneakiness of it all has never been too endearing for me. I did mess around with the old GBC reissue of it years ago, never got too far into that either but I had fun for what it was worth. That's worth throwing on a flashcart, I'll admit..
I did finally pick up a couple of other titles which need examination, considering what i am up to these days - Mass Effect (the Force, indeed) and yes, Gears of War. Neither have I gt thru very far at all (under an hour with each - it's been busy times!) but I intend to at least get some notable headway long enough to see what the fuss was about. In GOW's case, well, as we are using the Unreal engine, I would say it's fairly necessary to see how it performs in the hands of it's creators..
We had a party this weekend at the ol' homestead, busted out the Rock Band for the usual goodtimes - I am quite sick of the setlist, singing-wise, it would be nice to see a good 80 or so new tracks dumped en masse. I can wait! I still am a novice (to put it lightly) on the drums, and haven't even touched the axe, so no hurry, really. I did shell out for a second guitar, perhaps foolishly i stuck with the RB model rather then pick up Guitar Hero 3, my girlfriend would probably have preferred that. But all the compatibility notes have left my head spinning of late, so whatever! Anyway, at least we hve the full setup accessible at this point, so no more asking the buddies 'could ya please bring your guitar over tonight!" Also on deck was Boom Blox, my new favorite game on Wii, maybe new favorite game on anything for a few minutes, actually - I might've mentioned it in passing recently, I heard about it and tracked it slightly as it neared release, but upon hearing much praise for the thing I decided to shell out and see for myself. QUITE WORTH the 50 clams. I would recommend this title to anyone who actually owns a Wii, and has friends. So worth the money! In fact, just due to this game, I coughed up an extra $90 for two more Wiimotes to make sure the game could go as smooth as possible. Ough, my ass, but worth it. Very very fun. Sad to hear it's not selling well at all, this thing deserves praise in heaps.
Lots going on in the game world, of course Metal Gear Pizza released some days ago, and it's captivating the scene right now. I've not yet played it, of course, and in fact I have barely made much headway thru even the first MGS on PSone.. but I have respect for a venerated franchise. Anyway it's cleaning up in the ratings dep't, looking at it real quick it doesn't really excite me but it looks all well and good. I am interested in messing around with the last-gen versions at some point (perhaps that should've been in quotes). Something about the slow sneakiness of it all has never been too endearing for me. I did mess around with the old GBC reissue of it years ago, never got too far into that either but I had fun for what it was worth. That's worth throwing on a flashcart, I'll admit..
I did finally pick up a couple of other titles which need examination, considering what i am up to these days - Mass Effect (the Force, indeed) and yes, Gears of War. Neither have I gt thru very far at all (under an hour with each - it's been busy times!) but I intend to at least get some notable headway long enough to see what the fuss was about. In GOW's case, well, as we are using the Unreal engine, I would say it's fairly necessary to see how it performs in the hands of it's creators..
We had a party this weekend at the ol' homestead, busted out the Rock Band for the usual goodtimes - I am quite sick of the setlist, singing-wise, it would be nice to see a good 80 or so new tracks dumped en masse. I can wait! I still am a novice (to put it lightly) on the drums, and haven't even touched the axe, so no hurry, really. I did shell out for a second guitar, perhaps foolishly i stuck with the RB model rather then pick up Guitar Hero 3, my girlfriend would probably have preferred that. But all the compatibility notes have left my head spinning of late, so whatever! Anyway, at least we hve the full setup accessible at this point, so no more asking the buddies 'could ya please bring your guitar over tonight!" Also on deck was Boom Blox, my new favorite game on Wii, maybe new favorite game on anything for a few minutes, actually - I might've mentioned it in passing recently, I heard about it and tracked it slightly as it neared release, but upon hearing much praise for the thing I decided to shell out and see for myself. QUITE WORTH the 50 clams. I would recommend this title to anyone who actually owns a Wii, and has friends. So worth the money! In fact, just due to this game, I coughed up an extra $90 for two more Wiimotes to make sure the game could go as smooth as possible. Ough, my ass, but worth it. Very very fun. Sad to hear it's not selling well at all, this thing deserves praise in heaps.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
shea stadim's the radium
okay so i don't feel like blogging right now. life is too damned busy and stressful. Instead i will steal the blog of a fourteen-year-old boy. What a mean jerk i am, right!
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May 27, 2008
05/27/2008
We got our yearbooks in school today.
Some kids were teasing me cause there's this girl I look [look? like? look like? where the hell is the quality control in this kid's blog? how the hell is anybody supposed to know what the devil he is talking about? so careless.- R].
I can't wait for school to get out.
Summer is only four days away.
I started swim team today and I'm the only 14 year old guy on the team.
Music I'm listening to: Summer of 69, American Pie.
May 23, 2008
05/23/2008
Today I was off school and I went and saw the new Indiana Jones. I thought it was Ok but they should have done something other than aliens. Shia LeBeuf did a good job and so did Kate Blanchet but Harrison Ford is getting to old. The computer graphics ruined it to. The old movies were more special because they had limited special effects.
GTG
Peter
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May 27, 2008
05/27/2008
We got our yearbooks in school today.
Some kids were teasing me cause there's this girl I look [look? like? look like? where the hell is the quality control in this kid's blog? how the hell is anybody supposed to know what the devil he is talking about? so careless.- R].
I can't wait for school to get out.
Summer is only four days away.
I started swim team today and I'm the only 14 year old guy on the team.
Music I'm listening to: Summer of 69, American Pie.
May 23, 2008
05/23/2008
Today I was off school and I went and saw the new Indiana Jones. I thought it was Ok but they should have done something other than aliens. Shia LeBeuf did a good job and so did Kate Blanchet but Harrison Ford is getting to old. The computer graphics ruined it to. The old movies were more special because they had limited special effects.
GTG
Peter
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
the hell with this.
what's up, dramamine drinkers? taking a break from your favorite drug to read my writings on 'em? pull up a chair and chug-a-lug!
things are oh-so-busy in gamerland. work has been continuing to pound the crap out of me lately. i have been putting in some extra late hours lately, got lucky to actually be working on some stuff thematically that's a little nearer and dearer to my heart than usual, so when those moments arrive one does his best to take advantage of them.. anyway i am happy with the stuff i have been working on, of course i can't really post it right now but when the dust clears, i'd sure love to..!
Speaking of, there went up a new batch of Alpha Protocol pics up the other day, slowly they are disseminating. I look forward to see what gets released next. I wish I was in charge of helping to choose what was shown, eh?
A bunch of shots of the Gearbox Alien title got published as well, recently - our studio hasn't got anything to do with that of course (Gearbox is doing the FPS, whereas we are doing the RPG = 2 separate games). Their game wasn't looking too stellar when I'd first seen the images, but the new batch has me thinking strongly otherwise - it looks great! I grabbed a bunch of the images for my personal reference, actually - I am not on Obsidian's version that project, but I'd sure like to be at some point!
A lot of things have happened since I wrote the above paragraphs, but as usual I have been too busy with work and life (but mostly work) to pay much attention to my own blog. A few interesting games have passed my hands lately (boom blox), I have much to say about a few key things going on right now. I will get to it shortly!
things are oh-so-busy in gamerland. work has been continuing to pound the crap out of me lately. i have been putting in some extra late hours lately, got lucky to actually be working on some stuff thematically that's a little nearer and dearer to my heart than usual, so when those moments arrive one does his best to take advantage of them.. anyway i am happy with the stuff i have been working on, of course i can't really post it right now but when the dust clears, i'd sure love to..!
Speaking of, there went up a new batch of Alpha Protocol pics up the other day, slowly they are disseminating. I look forward to see what gets released next. I wish I was in charge of helping to choose what was shown, eh?
A bunch of shots of the Gearbox Alien title got published as well, recently - our studio hasn't got anything to do with that of course (Gearbox is doing the FPS, whereas we are doing the RPG = 2 separate games). Their game wasn't looking too stellar when I'd first seen the images, but the new batch has me thinking strongly otherwise - it looks great! I grabbed a bunch of the images for my personal reference, actually - I am not on Obsidian's version that project, but I'd sure like to be at some point!
A lot of things have happened since I wrote the above paragraphs, but as usual I have been too busy with work and life (but mostly work) to pay much attention to my own blog. A few interesting games have passed my hands lately (boom blox), I have much to say about a few key things going on right now. I will get to it shortly!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
damn you, rotten blog! Out! Out I say!
Phewwwww, but it has certainly been a long long time since I have written in this thing, wouldn't you say? As usual, the culprit is honestly just OT - lots and lots of OT. I have been banging the crap out of the neurons and dodecahedrons in the back part of my brain, as I have been overloaded with orders to "produce -- produce -- produce." I am really well exhausted these days, staying late at work night after night after night (weekends too). Ah, but so it goes, such is the lamentable life of the exhausted level artist. Hey, someone's got to build the world! Anyway, this is not new, it just ebbs and flows. Hopefully it will cool off sometime soon (in a postive way!) It's a double-edged sword - working like crazy gets some of the best work out of me, especially when I get into that groove - but it also makes me sort of miserable since I devolve into a kind of subhuman, incapable of complete thoughts, and regularly entertain fantasies of tossing myself over a bridge or something, ah well.
Anyway, in spite of my whining I am proud of the caliber of work I have been putting out lately, I sort of wish I could post it in here. It'll have to wait, though I hope we will have some more screenshots to show in the near future..
Other than work draining my vitals, absolutely, things are alright. Kind of a quiet pre-summer for games, in a way. GTA has been out for a bit now, and really dominating of course, but -- maybe it's just me, it feels like people aren't quite so sucked up into the whole hype megamachine for it like they were the last few go-rounds. Sure, it's making uber-bucketfuls of cash the world over, but it's sort of.. calm, for lack of a better descriptor. It landed and that's that, people are playing it but that's just it, they are playing "another sequel to a game that changed everything, some years ago." And the media is taking it easy on them, all we hear about is how the voice actor for the lead is pissed about lack of royalties (it's going to be hard for guys like him to get sympathy from dudes like ME, alright?) but that seems to be the worst of it. No hot coffee, no sexytime minigames, what-have-you. Put it out to pasture already. Actually, the game seems to be frying several people's consoles, that's SOMETHING, right?
Haze came out, plopped out rather, yeah this from the Goldeneye boys.. well, a lot of time has passed! I watched the dudes at work demoing it, it looked all well and good.. a little silly.. but competent. Not my thing, but then, WHAT IS, har har har? Seriously, the game is getting a lot of flack, and looking at the thing (from my admittedly limited P.O.V.) it's hard to wanna come down on those guys. In thiese post-Halo3, post-Gears days, it's just damned hard to put out an FPS by honesstly ANY company and not feel like sort of a weiner compared to the mega-powerhouses. I mean, you've got games like Unreal III, Crysis, things with serious 'recent' pedigree (not to take away from the Haze guys) and even THEY'RE sort of coming out with little more than a wink and a nod to show for it. Well, competition is good of course, and it's good to see standards are high - but at the same time, games are still early enough that it makes sense to expect these relatively B and C level contenders will have their place in the world as well. Do I encourage their persistence? Well, they need to make money if they wanna try to do different projects, I understand the business end of it. Anyway, if you can't really get something released that's at least feeling on a level of competency with Resistance, then you are probably bound for the bargin bin..
A strange season this time, the doldrums of summer usually but there's a little product this time, Coming of a ridiculously busy holiday season and a quite crowded spring, there seems to be a bit of hubbub to go on about in the coming schedule. Wii fit has just launched, of course, and true to it's heritage the thing is already sold out everywhere, and likely the case to be for sometime. I wanna buy one for my girl, also my parents.. looks like everyone's gonna be having to wait for a tad.
Of course the gorilla in the room is MGS4, which is out in.. what, 2 weeks, is it even that far off? That thing's been years in the making, I am sure it will make for some interesting times. Unlike the review bloats of GTA, I predict mid-to-high 8s. I think the thing will be fine, but it's getting old. We'll see.
Wow. Tired.. I must wrap this up, I have lots more to sya but it'll have to wait till next time. I need to talk about Boom Blox (which I picked up, haven't played yet - but looking forward tt it, sounds pretty fun!
Anyway, in spite of my whining I am proud of the caliber of work I have been putting out lately, I sort of wish I could post it in here. It'll have to wait, though I hope we will have some more screenshots to show in the near future..
Other than work draining my vitals, absolutely, things are alright. Kind of a quiet pre-summer for games, in a way. GTA has been out for a bit now, and really dominating of course, but -- maybe it's just me, it feels like people aren't quite so sucked up into the whole hype megamachine for it like they were the last few go-rounds. Sure, it's making uber-bucketfuls of cash the world over, but it's sort of.. calm, for lack of a better descriptor. It landed and that's that, people are playing it but that's just it, they are playing "another sequel to a game that changed everything, some years ago." And the media is taking it easy on them, all we hear about is how the voice actor for the lead is pissed about lack of royalties (it's going to be hard for guys like him to get sympathy from dudes like ME, alright?) but that seems to be the worst of it. No hot coffee, no sexytime minigames, what-have-you. Put it out to pasture already. Actually, the game seems to be frying several people's consoles, that's SOMETHING, right?
Haze came out, plopped out rather, yeah this from the Goldeneye boys.. well, a lot of time has passed! I watched the dudes at work demoing it, it looked all well and good.. a little silly.. but competent. Not my thing, but then, WHAT IS, har har har? Seriously, the game is getting a lot of flack, and looking at the thing (from my admittedly limited P.O.V.) it's hard to wanna come down on those guys. In thiese post-Halo3, post-Gears days, it's just damned hard to put out an FPS by honesstly ANY company and not feel like sort of a weiner compared to the mega-powerhouses. I mean, you've got games like Unreal III, Crysis, things with serious 'recent' pedigree (not to take away from the Haze guys) and even THEY'RE sort of coming out with little more than a wink and a nod to show for it. Well, competition is good of course, and it's good to see standards are high - but at the same time, games are still early enough that it makes sense to expect these relatively B and C level contenders will have their place in the world as well. Do I encourage their persistence? Well, they need to make money if they wanna try to do different projects, I understand the business end of it. Anyway, if you can't really get something released that's at least feeling on a level of competency with Resistance, then you are probably bound for the bargin bin..
A strange season this time, the doldrums of summer usually but there's a little product this time, Coming of a ridiculously busy holiday season and a quite crowded spring, there seems to be a bit of hubbub to go on about in the coming schedule. Wii fit has just launched, of course, and true to it's heritage the thing is already sold out everywhere, and likely the case to be for sometime. I wanna buy one for my girl, also my parents.. looks like everyone's gonna be having to wait for a tad.
Of course the gorilla in the room is MGS4, which is out in.. what, 2 weeks, is it even that far off? That thing's been years in the making, I am sure it will make for some interesting times. Unlike the review bloats of GTA, I predict mid-to-high 8s. I think the thing will be fine, but it's getting old. We'll see.
Wow. Tired.. I must wrap this up, I have lots more to sya but it'll have to wait till next time. I need to talk about Boom Blox (which I picked up, haven't played yet - but looking forward tt it, sounds pretty fun!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
i have traveled from the future, to unburden your mind
blogsketeers, how goes it. another late, lonely night for yours truly. as usual, all my bloggsses go neglected of late, with good reasons (i suppose) and i have found myself in possession of a few brief moments, with which I shall enlighten. Truth to be told, i should likely sped the time doing something more productive, but my rags are feeling pretty ragged, if you understand my drift.
Things are alright - life, she is plodding along as per usual. I am tremendously busy - well, to say that feels like an understatement, but you know. I am honestly as busy as I have ever been, work is dominating my mind and life and thoughts, there's certainly good things about that in some ways but it's also bad - really, as usual I am appreciative of my job but by jove, I want my life back a little more! I feel like I am sinking deeper and deeper into it, working around the clock with only that stuff on my mind "production - production - production" yields some -- err -- interesting results, of course, but you do forget how to be a human after particularly long sessions of it. As usual, I will wrap it up saying "my choice, this industry" and of course it's still worth the payoff, I love what I do (still.. for real!) but hey, I am ground down.
I have put a lot of other things on the shelf, pretty much across the board. Extracurricular activities, exercise, even HELL partying mostly - though true to form I will dip in and out of that as my rhythm dictates, and though I say I may not have too much of a choice in that matter, I have definitely shredded it down to a shadow of what that used to be (again, probably a good thing, and it's been so long since it was any kind of a regular thing in my life, that it almost feels very foreign to me.. almost!) Still, I manage to do some base things to keep in check (get some kind of sleep, get fed, keep my apartment from turning into a pig stye, spend some quality time with my significant other here and there..) Of course I try to drop in on my friends when I can..
The summer is upon us, in about a month really. As usual, I will slip into cliche and say "time is really flyin' Ma!" and it sure is, and as usual (also) it does bother me.. I get grief from some people "you always complain about that!" But you know, I do feel like it's a valid arguement - in many ways, I feel like I am questioning a lot lately, he values that have been instilled into me, the ideals I hold - the point of this life I have been leading. I am really feeling like work is something of a big waste of time, a lot of running around in circles, throwing the dice in some ways. I spend more and more time paying attention to the little details, maybe that's what's getting me thinking this way - that's a big feature of my personality though, I am a pretty detail-oriented guy in a lot of ways, like it or not I live my life through that prism. I pay attention to the details of where I am in my career, what i have got/stand to get from it, how that all adds up - I always say "well, I can't quit now, I don't know what else to do" and leaving wold be a different kind of pointlessness. I think once I get on some kind of a better streak, get some more leverage in my corner, my confidence will be up and I will feel more like the things I spend time on/decisions I sweat over will actually matter more. Patience, patience is a bitch, right?
The world is all crazy these days. It's always something. The pre-election stuff is quite goofy to watch. Four years ago I had some choice words to say. Now I just feel like it's the Ultimate Reality Show, this whole carnival. Oh well, at least it's not completely stodgy. It's becoming more and more like a sport though (that, or the Reality TV thing, choose your own metaphor). Also all this stuff with Cyclones and Earthquakes - it's permeating the news, but as we are in America, it kind of takes a back seat to things like Iron Man and LV bags, sadly. Or unsadly? Are we better off not dwelling on the macabre - so long as we are not ignoring it? I say, this could be a whole different avenue of philosophy (which I have considered before) which is sort of a self-defense mechanism.. anyway when tragedies happen in this country, I am sure we'll be more sullen about everything, at least for a little while. I am sure it's somewhat the same all over the map, to degrees, really.
Getting back to my work, I want to say that I am pretty proud of the fact that, in spie of my burned-out-state, I still seem to pump it out rather regularly. I am happy with what I produce, I can look at what I have made and feel like I didn't just shoot it out half-assedly. Sure, there's gonna be careless moments here and there, but after all these years (not to many, admittedly) I still take a fair amount of pride in what I do and spread the love in my work. Yeah, that's detrimental in some ways, too..
Half of 2008 still lies ahead. Nothing is really perking up this year for me. I have a couple things, work and personal-life-wise, that are of note - I'll likely move to a different project at some point, I will likely get out of debt shortly, my girlfriend will be out of school VERY shortly, stuff like that - but otherwise, in the grand scheme, there's nothing intimidating, on the positive or negative, on the horizon. No vacations, no big plans, no wild and crazy trips. Just back to back working and waiting for things to even out. Yeah, there'll be some good times in there to keep me smiling.. there's liable to be some pain-in-the-ass bullshit to keep me whinin' --- so life goes. I feel like it's coasting a little now.. well, for the time being.
Oh yeah hey! I got a speeding ticket last night, it's been almost a year and a half since the last one. 80MPH on the freeway at freakin' FOUR in the morning. 55 MPH limit (yeah, no one drives <70) I was so close.. That'll set me back a good two bills. Whatever, we all get nailed for that garbage sometime.
Things are alright - life, she is plodding along as per usual. I am tremendously busy - well, to say that feels like an understatement, but you know. I am honestly as busy as I have ever been, work is dominating my mind and life and thoughts, there's certainly good things about that in some ways but it's also bad - really, as usual I am appreciative of my job but by jove, I want my life back a little more! I feel like I am sinking deeper and deeper into it, working around the clock with only that stuff on my mind "production - production - production" yields some -- err -- interesting results, of course, but you do forget how to be a human after particularly long sessions of it. As usual, I will wrap it up saying "my choice, this industry" and of course it's still worth the payoff, I love what I do (still.. for real!) but hey, I am ground down.
I have put a lot of other things on the shelf, pretty much across the board. Extracurricular activities, exercise, even HELL partying mostly - though true to form I will dip in and out of that as my rhythm dictates, and though I say I may not have too much of a choice in that matter, I have definitely shredded it down to a shadow of what that used to be (again, probably a good thing, and it's been so long since it was any kind of a regular thing in my life, that it almost feels very foreign to me.. almost!) Still, I manage to do some base things to keep in check (get some kind of sleep, get fed, keep my apartment from turning into a pig stye, spend some quality time with my significant other here and there..) Of course I try to drop in on my friends when I can..
The summer is upon us, in about a month really. As usual, I will slip into cliche and say "time is really flyin' Ma!" and it sure is, and as usual (also) it does bother me.. I get grief from some people "you always complain about that!" But you know, I do feel like it's a valid arguement - in many ways, I feel like I am questioning a lot lately, he values that have been instilled into me, the ideals I hold - the point of this life I have been leading. I am really feeling like work is something of a big waste of time, a lot of running around in circles, throwing the dice in some ways. I spend more and more time paying attention to the little details, maybe that's what's getting me thinking this way - that's a big feature of my personality though, I am a pretty detail-oriented guy in a lot of ways, like it or not I live my life through that prism. I pay attention to the details of where I am in my career, what i have got/stand to get from it, how that all adds up - I always say "well, I can't quit now, I don't know what else to do" and leaving wold be a different kind of pointlessness. I think once I get on some kind of a better streak, get some more leverage in my corner, my confidence will be up and I will feel more like the things I spend time on/decisions I sweat over will actually matter more. Patience, patience is a bitch, right?
The world is all crazy these days. It's always something. The pre-election stuff is quite goofy to watch. Four years ago I had some choice words to say. Now I just feel like it's the Ultimate Reality Show, this whole carnival. Oh well, at least it's not completely stodgy. It's becoming more and more like a sport though (that, or the Reality TV thing, choose your own metaphor). Also all this stuff with Cyclones and Earthquakes - it's permeating the news, but as we are in America, it kind of takes a back seat to things like Iron Man and LV bags, sadly. Or unsadly? Are we better off not dwelling on the macabre - so long as we are not ignoring it? I say, this could be a whole different avenue of philosophy (which I have considered before) which is sort of a self-defense mechanism.. anyway when tragedies happen in this country, I am sure we'll be more sullen about everything, at least for a little while. I am sure it's somewhat the same all over the map, to degrees, really.
Getting back to my work, I want to say that I am pretty proud of the fact that, in spie of my burned-out-state, I still seem to pump it out rather regularly. I am happy with what I produce, I can look at what I have made and feel like I didn't just shoot it out half-assedly. Sure, there's gonna be careless moments here and there, but after all these years (not to many, admittedly) I still take a fair amount of pride in what I do and spread the love in my work. Yeah, that's detrimental in some ways, too..
Half of 2008 still lies ahead. Nothing is really perking up this year for me. I have a couple things, work and personal-life-wise, that are of note - I'll likely move to a different project at some point, I will likely get out of debt shortly, my girlfriend will be out of school VERY shortly, stuff like that - but otherwise, in the grand scheme, there's nothing intimidating, on the positive or negative, on the horizon. No vacations, no big plans, no wild and crazy trips. Just back to back working and waiting for things to even out. Yeah, there'll be some good times in there to keep me smiling.. there's liable to be some pain-in-the-ass bullshit to keep me whinin' --- so life goes. I feel like it's coasting a little now.. well, for the time being.
Oh yeah hey! I got a speeding ticket last night, it's been almost a year and a half since the last one. 80MPH on the freeway at freakin' FOUR in the morning. 55 MPH limit (yeah, no one drives <70) I was so close.. That'll set me back a good two bills. Whatever, we all get nailed for that garbage sometime.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
write away
jeez, feels like ages since i have visited the ol' blogosphere. Honestly, must be at least two weeks since i have put anything of any relative worth in here, but I would say it feels like it may as well have been at least 6 months (and that's feeling extremely generous). I have to mention it gets harder to write in this thing, knowing that people actually read it - and the whole reason I write anything in a public place is to prevent myself from sort of going off the deep end with a journal (by virtue of me having this thing, this long, it would only be a matter of time!) Anyway I have certainly felt the urge to put a lot of words down lately. but for numerous reasons I have kept mum. The troubling thing is, I feel like that's my overall problem about communicating in my life in general.
In spite of that tone, things in my life are generally okay. I am always going to be haunted by whatever the hell it is that's always around me, and anybody else could always say (or feel) the same, I am sure. We all have thos things in life, our crosses to bear, the consequences of our decisions, and we make do with what we've got. In the end it's all really our own machinations which have produced whatever is going on in one's adult life, and our regular rhythmic process is just how we deal with that, whatever it means to anyone (whether it's a happy thing, or not). I guess that's how it goes in life, sometimes when you are dealing with the things in your life it's a battle, sometimes it's a cakewalk, and for different people they could be the exact same things. I am starting to sound like one of those cheesy metal songs that prides itself on fulfilling lyrics about how everything is a paradox al the time, so i will just cool it now.
Work is alright, I can feel it wearing me down lately. So funny, when I don't have a job then the one thing I want more than ANYTHING ELSE just a freakin' job, I want it so bad i can taste it. Then when I have that one thing, I clutch onto it for all I am worth, I wrap my life/personality completely around it to the point that I don't quite know where I start or end, and then I just start getting contemptuous of the whole rotten thing. I am not totally sure how that happens, if it is a circumstantial thing or more like "just another facet of getting old." I have mentioned so many times how the older I get, the longer I work, the more it just gets really tired, but to be honest I talk to everyone else who does work like I do and I feel like nearly everybody is just so damned tired of it as well. The weird part is that all that said, I still find the weird OCD-specific part of my personality that loooOOoOOooves to get wrapped up in the particular supertechnical/abstract minutiae of what I do for a living, and rather than just putting down markers on a freeway I feel like some weird heavy frog frantically hopping onto increasingly more awkward lily pads that are so close to sinking (that one was for my own benefit, pardon the weird imagery).
So back to the paradox then...
Anyway, work has always been a battle, it will continue to be that way, and the way I look at my relative "elders" for this specific gig, it's always just coming and going that way pretty perpetually. It's funny. A bonafide blueprint for having a nervous breakdown? Would I ever be capable of doing anything else anyway? Aren't we all in some crazy big race? It could be worse, I could be working in the Japanese version of the industry.
Other than work, I feel like a lot of my life has kinda shriveled up lately. I live in this weird wonderful place, endlessly interesting and happily expressing all these opportunities for good times, to the point where even traveling anywhere else in the world almost seems (a bit) redundant.. almost.. but in spite of my being firmly planted smack- in the middle of it, I feel like i have tread such a well worn path of an incredibly defined space. I feel like i have memorized all the little nuts and bolts of every tiny little aspect of the area in which I traverse, to the point where I just wind myself up and go through all the motions as the time goes by. Fortunately, there's a failsafe in there somewhere that yanks me out and occasionally throws me into some weird madness here and there, just to keep it interesting, but it really feels like a decidedly double-sided coin now. To the point where even the aberrations feel almost as well planned and forethought.
All these things I go on about make me think about my (no-so-recent) flirting with picking it all up and starting over, and the over-under on that is that somehow that might not have been the great savior I was hoping it might be. Getting back to where (and when, and how) I live now, all the tools I need are pretty damned well spelled-out in front of me, and have been for awhile.
I think one of the reasons I am losing my mind is the fact that I sit in a desk making videogames all day long. Especially considering the nonsensical nature of that, compared to the "real" things that happen in the world (and are quite newsworthy) pretty regularly. The thing that makes me nuts is that so much of our society is steadily drowning in that very ridiculousness, just worshipping all this pointless bullshit that does not seem to matter. Attaching all this importance to things that are terribly irrelevant (I am staring straight at all the pop culture BS right now). And the great part of it all, is that by paying so much attention (and capital) to this unimportance, it actually DOES become important, it becomes the MOST important! That's one of the weird things which I am struggling to get my head around. Honestly, Care Bears and Thundercats are more important/influential than I will ever be! Well not just me, but actual smart-smart talented people. And this has been proven over so many times that it's not really leaving any room for argument.
I can't dwell on it too much, culture has it's place and it's really one of the most grandiose of contributions that we as a species can make back to the otherwise blank-slate nature that spawned us. Every weird little abstraction and market-researched bullshit idea (and all of their knockoffs) are all so deeply important and alive, at least conceptually, that we'll never really truly fathom any of what we have created, or it's implications (see: the Internet. Or, the Book). As I type that, a few hairs raise on the back of my neck thinking "ahhh, nature begets nature!" Yeah, nothing is more unsatisfying than an unintentional god, right?
These themes have certainly been explored several times before, in several forms.. and I am sure with much more clarity than I do them the disjustice of lacking (hell, it's pushing on 3am, give me a break!) As I ponder it, I realize people smarter than me have spent their lives pondering it before, and others before them, it's got it's own well-worn culture already as well (but such is the nature of human thought, to be curious, analytical). The stupifying part for me is the ultimate dead-end I always reach, and the fact that that is the only logical result anyway. "So what, who cares!"
-----------------------------------------------
I have developed this strange new fascination with space stations lately. As usual I am too dumb to understand some of the deeper complexities of how such things work (and have happened), but I can at least sensibly work out why they happened and what led us to where we are today. Remarkable to me how no one else seems to even give a thought to such things, the notion of existing in a tiny wiry tube over the planet we were born for months at a time is one of the absolute nightmare craziest things I believe I have ever heard (another one being that "anyone with money can own and drive a car!") I guess it's just my inner caveman freakin' out again, but not for nothing, come on! It's late and my eyes are already bleary with sleep as I type this, but there's so much I would love to get into about the strangeness of how the space program (space race) developed, how it wasn't so long ago that it's primary purpose was honestly so that people could be able to kill each other, in all that's happened in technical marvels over the past century we've got nothing more impressive to show from it than how completely superior we are over any other organism bred of this Earth as far as being able to kill them all, and ourselves, nearly effortlessly and easily. Will we be able to beat out program in time? Will we kill ourselves with junk food and junk thought and junk love more meaningfully than we could only physically, with just mere stockpiles of nuclear weapons?
When I was young, I grew up in a time where I sensed that - even at a young age - a lot had happened in society at large, very recently, and it had spun the world up pretty good, but now it was "over" and things were settled and business, as usual, was transpiring from that point on. Everything was under control, by virtue of an establishment having occurred and enough systems already were in place (in society) to sort of follow through in expected fashion. Hey, the United States were already pretty well-figured out for like a couple hundred years already, right? Languages were all good to go, we had people to translate between enough of them.. anybody could get anywhere by car, plane, or if necessary, boat (and hey, can still walk to, for the short distances). TV in every home, computers were boxy and nerdy and mysterious but everything of a higher need utilized them all quite well for some time now and there didn't seem to be any need to worry about a deviation from the path. yeah, there were 3rd world countries, and yeah there was a cold war, and people on the other size of the world still seemed kind of poor and barbaric, but they were coming along and it was only a matter of time until everyone caught up and we'd all be on the same page and "it would just all be done, " all that building, renovating, adjusting.
Well, now I am like 15 years wiser since thinking such things, I have had enough time to go over it in my head after sort of subliminally hearing that all preached into my deeper consciousness for so long. I have seen thins with my own eyes, of course (always comes back to this) I live in a weirder cutting-edgier place where some of the raw stuff hasn't quite got filtered out and disseminated yet. College did a number on me as it opened me up to the world but also let me see how the world was opening up - MORE - to itself, in spite of it thinking (as noted above) that everything was just "all freakin' set."
As usual, it's hard for me to build up to a real point with these rants, it's sort of just a cross-section of the slutty sloppiness that sails through my thoughts as I commute back and forth to and from the office everyday, and it's not really mean to pique, so much as it is to express. In the end, I am just a simple animal like everyone else, and I want litlle else than they do.. maybe less (maybe more!)
In spite of that tone, things in my life are generally okay. I am always going to be haunted by whatever the hell it is that's always around me, and anybody else could always say (or feel) the same, I am sure. We all have thos things in life, our crosses to bear, the consequences of our decisions, and we make do with what we've got. In the end it's all really our own machinations which have produced whatever is going on in one's adult life, and our regular rhythmic process is just how we deal with that, whatever it means to anyone (whether it's a happy thing, or not). I guess that's how it goes in life, sometimes when you are dealing with the things in your life it's a battle, sometimes it's a cakewalk, and for different people they could be the exact same things. I am starting to sound like one of those cheesy metal songs that prides itself on fulfilling lyrics about how everything is a paradox al the time, so i will just cool it now.
Work is alright, I can feel it wearing me down lately. So funny, when I don't have a job then the one thing I want more than ANYTHING ELSE just a freakin' job, I want it so bad i can taste it. Then when I have that one thing, I clutch onto it for all I am worth, I wrap my life/personality completely around it to the point that I don't quite know where I start or end, and then I just start getting contemptuous of the whole rotten thing. I am not totally sure how that happens, if it is a circumstantial thing or more like "just another facet of getting old." I have mentioned so many times how the older I get, the longer I work, the more it just gets really tired, but to be honest I talk to everyone else who does work like I do and I feel like nearly everybody is just so damned tired of it as well. The weird part is that all that said, I still find the weird OCD-specific part of my personality that loooOOoOOooves to get wrapped up in the particular supertechnical/abstract minutiae of what I do for a living, and rather than just putting down markers on a freeway I feel like some weird heavy frog frantically hopping onto increasingly more awkward lily pads that are so close to sinking (that one was for my own benefit, pardon the weird imagery).
So back to the paradox then...
Anyway, work has always been a battle, it will continue to be that way, and the way I look at my relative "elders" for this specific gig, it's always just coming and going that way pretty perpetually. It's funny. A bonafide blueprint for having a nervous breakdown? Would I ever be capable of doing anything else anyway? Aren't we all in some crazy big race? It could be worse, I could be working in the Japanese version of the industry.
Other than work, I feel like a lot of my life has kinda shriveled up lately. I live in this weird wonderful place, endlessly interesting and happily expressing all these opportunities for good times, to the point where even traveling anywhere else in the world almost seems (a bit) redundant.. almost.. but in spite of my being firmly planted smack- in the middle of it, I feel like i have tread such a well worn path of an incredibly defined space. I feel like i have memorized all the little nuts and bolts of every tiny little aspect of the area in which I traverse, to the point where I just wind myself up and go through all the motions as the time goes by. Fortunately, there's a failsafe in there somewhere that yanks me out and occasionally throws me into some weird madness here and there, just to keep it interesting, but it really feels like a decidedly double-sided coin now. To the point where even the aberrations feel almost as well planned and forethought.
All these things I go on about make me think about my (no-so-recent) flirting with picking it all up and starting over, and the over-under on that is that somehow that might not have been the great savior I was hoping it might be. Getting back to where (and when, and how) I live now, all the tools I need are pretty damned well spelled-out in front of me, and have been for awhile.
I think one of the reasons I am losing my mind is the fact that I sit in a desk making videogames all day long. Especially considering the nonsensical nature of that, compared to the "real" things that happen in the world (and are quite newsworthy) pretty regularly. The thing that makes me nuts is that so much of our society is steadily drowning in that very ridiculousness, just worshipping all this pointless bullshit that does not seem to matter. Attaching all this importance to things that are terribly irrelevant (I am staring straight at all the pop culture BS right now). And the great part of it all, is that by paying so much attention (and capital) to this unimportance, it actually DOES become important, it becomes the MOST important! That's one of the weird things which I am struggling to get my head around. Honestly, Care Bears and Thundercats are more important/influential than I will ever be! Well not just me, but actual smart-smart talented people. And this has been proven over so many times that it's not really leaving any room for argument.
I can't dwell on it too much, culture has it's place and it's really one of the most grandiose of contributions that we as a species can make back to the otherwise blank-slate nature that spawned us. Every weird little abstraction and market-researched bullshit idea (and all of their knockoffs) are all so deeply important and alive, at least conceptually, that we'll never really truly fathom any of what we have created, or it's implications (see: the Internet. Or, the Book). As I type that, a few hairs raise on the back of my neck thinking "ahhh, nature begets nature!" Yeah, nothing is more unsatisfying than an unintentional god, right?
These themes have certainly been explored several times before, in several forms.. and I am sure with much more clarity than I do them the disjustice of lacking (hell, it's pushing on 3am, give me a break!) As I ponder it, I realize people smarter than me have spent their lives pondering it before, and others before them, it's got it's own well-worn culture already as well (but such is the nature of human thought, to be curious, analytical). The stupifying part for me is the ultimate dead-end I always reach, and the fact that that is the only logical result anyway. "So what, who cares!"
-----------------------------------------------
I have developed this strange new fascination with space stations lately. As usual I am too dumb to understand some of the deeper complexities of how such things work (and have happened), but I can at least sensibly work out why they happened and what led us to where we are today. Remarkable to me how no one else seems to even give a thought to such things, the notion of existing in a tiny wiry tube over the planet we were born for months at a time is one of the absolute nightmare craziest things I believe I have ever heard (another one being that "anyone with money can own and drive a car!") I guess it's just my inner caveman freakin' out again, but not for nothing, come on! It's late and my eyes are already bleary with sleep as I type this, but there's so much I would love to get into about the strangeness of how the space program (space race) developed, how it wasn't so long ago that it's primary purpose was honestly so that people could be able to kill each other, in all that's happened in technical marvels over the past century we've got nothing more impressive to show from it than how completely superior we are over any other organism bred of this Earth as far as being able to kill them all, and ourselves, nearly effortlessly and easily. Will we be able to beat out program in time? Will we kill ourselves with junk food and junk thought and junk love more meaningfully than we could only physically, with just mere stockpiles of nuclear weapons?
When I was young, I grew up in a time where I sensed that - even at a young age - a lot had happened in society at large, very recently, and it had spun the world up pretty good, but now it was "over" and things were settled and business, as usual, was transpiring from that point on. Everything was under control, by virtue of an establishment having occurred and enough systems already were in place (in society) to sort of follow through in expected fashion. Hey, the United States were already pretty well-figured out for like a couple hundred years already, right? Languages were all good to go, we had people to translate between enough of them.. anybody could get anywhere by car, plane, or if necessary, boat (and hey, can still walk to, for the short distances). TV in every home, computers were boxy and nerdy and mysterious but everything of a higher need utilized them all quite well for some time now and there didn't seem to be any need to worry about a deviation from the path. yeah, there were 3rd world countries, and yeah there was a cold war, and people on the other size of the world still seemed kind of poor and barbaric, but they were coming along and it was only a matter of time until everyone caught up and we'd all be on the same page and "it would just all be done, " all that building, renovating, adjusting.
Well, now I am like 15 years wiser since thinking such things, I have had enough time to go over it in my head after sort of subliminally hearing that all preached into my deeper consciousness for so long. I have seen thins with my own eyes, of course (always comes back to this) I live in a weirder cutting-edgier place where some of the raw stuff hasn't quite got filtered out and disseminated yet. College did a number on me as it opened me up to the world but also let me see how the world was opening up - MORE - to itself, in spite of it thinking (as noted above) that everything was just "all freakin' set."
As usual, it's hard for me to build up to a real point with these rants, it's sort of just a cross-section of the slutty sloppiness that sails through my thoughts as I commute back and forth to and from the office everyday, and it's not really mean to pique, so much as it is to express. In the end, I am just a simple animal like everyone else, and I want litlle else than they do.. maybe less (maybe more!)
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